Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike

This movie is like a chick flick except instead of smoking babes, dude, it's a munchkin and fat guy. *cries*

Seriously, this movie is garbage. Don't watch it

Seriously how did this film get greenlit? What were the producers thinking/smoking? There is no real reason to make this. I can fathom films made based on Mario, Sonic, Donkey Kong, or Star Fox but why this? Seriously it was based off of Elf Bowling an online game in 1998 that was renowned for being among the worst. Yet it worse because the story is barely based on what flimsy material it is and there's so many lame scenes and bland song and dance numbers that stretches the time making it not only longer but seem longer than it really is. It all starts off with Santa as a pirate and his brother Dingle getting kicked off their ship, freezing, and thawed by elves. Dingle wants to be in charge and challenges Santa to a game of bowling and Dingle wins by cheating (using penguins in place of elves). Then the plot turns south with the elves being moved to Fiji and involving talking statues. Then a rematch happens and oh heck is this beyond stupid. The characters are ugly and one dimensional, the animation lacking, the story is abysmal beyond comprehension, nor is the dialogue or voice acting worthwhile. If any good came out of it, it's that a Halloween sequel was cancelled due to this lame excuse of this movie's even lamer performance. If anyone is going to make a movie based on any videogame, base it on something well known and good. This should be a chapter in how to not make a movie.

I never heard of the elf bowling games until like last year, and I came from the 90s. The game clearly looks ridiculous and like nothing really happens, but it also looked kind of funny. Not technically something that would be made into a kids movie though...

I found it on Amazon Prime Video with it's glorious 1.7 glory rating, but I figured I'd check it out...not once but twice. Yes TWICE!!! The movie was so boring that I couldn't even stay awake during its hour and a half long duration. The plot is stupid (to be honest, I still never knew what the damn plot was), the pacing is annoyingly slow, and none of the characters are likeable. Not only are the characters unlikable and unfunny, but their stupidity gives me a HORRENDOUS headache. The villian of the movie, Dinkle, had been a sly fox for 1400 years, and when random stuff happens, NO ONE FOR SOME REASON THINKS "OH MAYBE IT'S DINKLE AGAIN!!" But that would make too much sense and the movie can't make sense because then it will be too short, AND WE CAN'T HAVE OUR MOVIE BE SHORT!!

This is a damn Christmas movie based on a deadass video game, but I literally forgot about the so called "elf bowling" plotline...(sigh). The animation is tolerable and not too insulting despite the characters looking like creepy early CGI models...wait what year this came out again? Meh I don't care. The voice acting is not terrible, but it IS annoying. Every character, except maybe Lex (the magic ball elf), sounds incredibly annoying. That's more of my personal nitpick because I've heard less annoying voices in Spongebob Squarepants...(I made the reference because Tom Kenny plays Dinkle...).

This is a kid's movie sure, but this is not something I would recommend parents to show their kids. Not only is the movie terrible, but it's also an insult to children's intelligence and it's very boring. I personally think this was made for money, because the creators did not care. I'd taken creepy stop-motion Christmas specials before this anyday.

Oh there's sex jokes somewhere in there too...

"Elf Bowling" is probably one of the worst Christmas specials ever made. It lacks the charm it is supposed to have, the animation is terrible, and it is not funny at all. All this added to the fact that it was post-produced to tie in to a popular downloadable video game.

In fact, all bowling elements of the film made no sense to me. Sure, the video game is fun. I know because I've played it. However, how can you have Santa use elves as bowling pins and make both the Christmas special endearing and Santa not look like a masochist? This movie's answer to that question is apparently by making the elves actually LIKE being knocked down by a heavy bowling ball. As long as Santa is rolling that ball, it's a compliment, I guess.

The way you can tell that "Elf Bowling" and all bowling elements were added to the film at the last minute is just by looking at the title: "Elf Bowling: The Movie- The Great North Pole Elf Strike". If you take anything related to bowling out of this movie, you still get a story that's predictable, and characters whose actions fly in the face of logic. Adding bowling to the plot is just clearly contrived.

Apparently, in one of the stupidest Santa origin stories ever, Santa Claus (voiced by Joe Alaskey, who also does the voice for Grandpa Lou in TV's "Rugrats") starts out as a pirate (yes, a pirate!) whose fellow shipmates make it their duty to steal toys from orphans. When Santa has a falling out with his brother, Dingle Kringle (voiced by Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants), they end up both accidentally walking off the plank. Because they happen to fall off the ship in the North Pole, they end up frozen and floating off to a land inhabited by toy-making elves.

While the brothers initially plan to steal the toys the elves made, Santa warms up to the elves. Dingle, however, does not. Santa goes on to take over the workshop, while Dingle, in plain sight of Santa, wants to take over the toy making operation. First he wants to keep the toys for himself. Later, he wants to deliver the toys to all the children in the world with invoices attached so he can profit. INVOICES! As if kids would actually pay them.

Do you see any room for bowling in this story? Somehow, they manage to wedge it in, and it sticks out like a sore thumb. Also, Dingle, being the bad guy, cheats in the first game, then is caught by the elves. They have a rematch, and Dingle cheats again, unbeknownst to those same elves. Talk about "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me"! For plot convenience's sake, the elves never seem to comprehend Dingle's evil schemes, even when he flies them to Fiji. The elves are not supposed to be stupid, but their lines like "What the cranberry sauce are you doing?" make you wonder.

Despite the veteran, talented voice actors they recruited for this special, this is just a very cheap way to promote a video game that did not need this movie to promote it. It had already been downloaded 100 million times (literally) before this movie came out.

Everything about this movie felt cheap: the writing, the animation, and even the sole black elf who spoke intelligence-insulting jive talk. I did not enjoy it, and I doubt kids will either. However, it may be best used as an actual bowling pin so you can through a bowling ball at it.

Its a good in joke between your friends. Oh, and I guess don't ever ever do anything remotely similar to this.

There can be only 1 elf bowling movie.