L'enfer de glace

I like disaster films. It's comforting and entertaining to watch the world suffer imaginary cataclysmic events from the safety of one's couch. On the screen, everything goes kapow. Yet, the bowl of parmesan popcorn is within easy reach of my greedy paw and a cold beer froths in a mug. I sat through this film bored and annoyed, however. This is the kind of movie that begs the question: why make bad movies? Why go through the expense and the trouble when, given the effort, the results are so unaccountably awful? What is it exactly that propels unscrupulous producers, untalented directors, and third-rate actors to collaborate on cinematic ventures that never should have seen the light of day? Who makes the decisions to bring such aberrations to life and who stands the most to gain from them? Adam Sliwinski and Michael D. Jacobs, director and producer respectively, and the many actors of limited craft who participated in this film, all of you should be embarrassed to have this dreck floating about.

I rented this gem knowing it was a Day After Tomorrow clone. I expected it to be campy and bad.

The special effects were hilarious and just bad. Some times it would be an entire CG shot that looks like some freshman's work with making a 3D model at art school.

Though the best part of the movie is the constant statement that "Science is Never Wrong." If I was playing a drinking game I would have been plastered by the end of this movie. Even the little kid in the movie said science is never wrong.

The physics in this movie are laughable at best. The idea that the last ice age started 10,000 years ago and lasted 1000 years is hilarious.

It was as if the writers, producers and actors couldn't be bothered to check a history book about the ice age anywhere.

Let alone the idea of absolute zero.

All I can say is they must have made this movie for what it was, a great no-brainer campy stupid flick.

Absolute Zero is about a climatologist that discovers that the shifting of the poles causes severe climate change, like -400 degrees. A crooked project manager working for a greedy company hopes to make millions off of the information that the pole change is happening now. The climatologist hooks up with an old buddy that just happened to marry the girl he walked out on. They attempt to tell some dopey politician to get all the sunbathers in Miami to evacuate before the cold snap hits and also save themselves. Tired plot is not helped by the low grade special effects and relatively good acting. Not a great time, but not a total waste of time.

So the graphics and sets are poorly created, the acting is mediocre, the plot is predictable, and the science is childishly inaccurate... but it certainly doesn't deserve a 3/10. If you expect to see cheesy made-for-TV quality, you won't be disappointed, because that was the intent of this movie. Certainly no blockbuster but it's good in it's own way.

Essentially, a rogue scientist determines that the magnetic poles are going to shift, resulting in the rapid deep freeze of the equator. Of course, nobody believes him until it's too late. Throw in some romantic tension, angry standoffs, an evil businessman, hero kid, a few death scenes, and a semi-happy ending... bam! A cliché sci-fi movie that can be enjoyed by anyone who can appreciate it for what it is.

I would have to agree with most of the opinions not to buy or rent the movie, but if you happen to see it on TV, or flip through and find it on netflix while bored, give it a try. Keep your expectations low, like Battlefield Earth low, and you may actually enjoy it.

David Koch (Jeff Fahey), a climatologist working for Miami-based Inter-Sci, is suddenly sent to Antarctica to investigate a change in climate. Some scientists on the icy continent were killed when there was an abrupt spike in temperature, resulting in shifting ice flows that sent them into the icy waters below. When David arrives down under, the remaining crew tell him that a "cave" has appeared, one that was not noticeable before, and which may have answers to the current phenomena. David leads a group to the cavern but, despite finding prehistoric "cave paintings" that suggest the climate on Antarctica was once warmer, the unstable weather creates death traps. Only David makes it out alive, natch. Back in Miami, David hooks up with a science colleague and his wife, Bryn (Erika Eleniak) who run data and come to the startling conclusion that the earth's "poles" are shifting and that Miami will become the new Antarctice in less than 4 days. Of course, the scummy, money-grubbing leader of Inter-Sci locks horns with David and insists to the United States military that the change in climate will evolve more slowly and that, in any case, the company has it covered. Ho ho, what fun is ahead! David, it turns out, is correct and soon folks sunning by the posh hotels' pools are being pelted with snow and sleet. With only a limited time to get everyone evacuated from Miami and into "warmer" New York and other upper regions, what will be the result? Actually, as far as "B" movies go, I thought this one was pretty entertaining. The cast is not stellar by any means, with Fahey and Eleniak, longtime B stars, looking older and tired and the others not doing Oscar work either. Then, too, the script veers off into silliness from time to time, as it tries to recount a long ago love affair between David and Bryn. But, when it gets down to science and special effects, the film fares much better. The whole premise is fairly interesting and the "chilling" of Miami is fun to watch. Yes, it takes a few pages from The Day After Tomorrow, with its rolling deep freeze frames. But, what the heck, if you love science fiction and chaotic weather situations, you would probably get a kick out of this one, especially on sweltering summer nights when re-runs are the only other options. Go for it.