Church Ball

Trot out every stereotype and misrepresentation you've heard about semi-devout Mormons, and you'll see they've all starred in this ridiculous excuse for a film. Finally Kurt Hale's fortunes have changed (thank goodness) and hopefully it will be a long while before we see any of his features in theaters.

The cinematography was amateurish (I think they used a camcorder for some of the basketball scenes). The plot was limp and very unfunny. You really didn't understand why anyone did anything. It was like I had sand in my eyes, and a 300-pound lady was sitting on my face, it was that painful.

The only reason I didn't give this movie a negative rating was because the scale won't let me.

I was not expecting much going in to this, but still came away disappointed. This was my least favorite Halestorm production I have seen. I thought it was supposed to be a comedy, but I only snickered at 3 or 4 jokes. Is it really a funny gag to see a fat guy eating donuts and falling down over and over? What was up with the janitor in Heaven scene? Fred Willard has been hilarious with some of his Christopher Guest collaborations, but this did not work. They must have spent all the budget on getting "known" actors to appear in this because there was no lighting budget. It looked like it was filmed with a video camera and most scenes were very dark. Does it really take that much film to show someone actually shoot and make a basket, as opposed to cutting away and editing a ball swishing through a basket? I try not to be too critical of low budget comedies, but if you want to see something funny go to a real Church basketball game instead of this movie.

The movie lived up to my expectations from the perspective of making light the saying 'No blood, no foul.' I appreciated the message developed along the way to reinforce the 'would-be, should-be' true purpose of the program.

I ask my Elder's quorum president every year if they'll be having a recreational league based team this year. If so, to sign me up. (They been the region champs three years in a row.) I think the story line could have been developed further. The hotrod/eaten scenes were cheesy.

Not great, but I think anyone that has participated in church ball will feel that they got their money's worth.

It was a rainy night when my wife and I stepped into the recently opened Century 16 Theatres near us. Our daughter had sent us out for a night at the movies after we'd gone out for dinner. Of the 16 screens there was almost nothing suitable for viewing. A lot of "R" rated horror type junk, a lame remake of Disney's THE SHAGGY DOG and CHURCH BALL. I had recently heard director Kurt Hale on the local KSL Movie Show talking about the film. The host made the mistake of mentioning a comment that LDS filmmaker Richard Dutcher had made about the type of films that the HaleStorm people were turning out killing the theatrical interest of many for LDS themed films. This hit a nerve and Hale flashed back with: "All we need is another STATES OF GRACE out there!" He was referring to Dutcher's latest film which has unfortunately done poorly. While I think that there is room for both in depth drama and light comedy showing the LDS culture, I find the HaleStorm films, including CHURCH BALL, to be only mildly entertaining. Dollar for dollar there is no question that the technical quality of what is up there on the screen comes out far ahead under Dutcher's hand. The HaleStorm films seem like a glorified "roadshow". There are some laughs but little that has lasting value. I look forward to seeing what they can do as they shift their efforts from Mormon themed comedy to remakes of Dotty Dayton films such as AGAINST A CROOKED SKY. My guess is that they are not going to be able to match the $10 million that the 1975 original took in, even with the inflated admission prices of today. Hope that I am wrong! P.S: My wife said that CHURCH BALL was better then she thought it would be.

I've never been a huge fan of Mormon films. Being a Mormon, I've always felt that the humor was too exclusive to the LDS community and made us seem like a bunch of obsessive wackos. I was hoping this would be the breath of fresh air, the Halestorm movie I could finally discuss with my non-Mormon friends.

Boy, was I wrong.

I figured, since this had B-list talent like Clint Howard, Gary Coleman, Andrew Wilson, and Fred Willard (one of my favorites), this would have to be at least a little funny. And besides, church basketball is ripe with potential for plenty of hilarious gags and such. But I must say, throughout the entire movie, it seemed as though no one knew what they were doing. Every joke fell flat, and every opportunity for a genuinely funny gag went ignored. The dialogue was bland, and the film had some of the worst character development I have ever seen. Every single character but Wilson's was less than one-dimensional. It's hard to believe that after nine re-writes the film was still as mind-numbingly stale as the train wreck I witnessed. I can't put into words the rage I felt sitting through this. My friends and I were extras in the final game scene, so we went to the premiere in Washington City, UT. Kurt Hale, the director, was there, and I must say, I avoided all contact with him after the show. He waited at the door, seemingly ready for feedback. I couldn't bring myself to tell him that his film not only ripped away a good hour and a half of my life, but it left a nasty, painful scar that I will never forget.

Here are a few specific problems I had: There was a minor love story subplot between the janitor and the chubby piano player, but these two characters came out of nowhere, and were impossible to care about, so my friends and I were left constantly wondering why we were supposed to care about these two lame, uninteresting characters. There were many subplots that popped up every now and then, each promising the audience the chance for laughs, but each one came and went in a puff of smoke, ending before you could even start caring. This was pretty much how the whole movie felt.

This film was a major letdown, and I feel bad for everyone who's expecting the first REAL funny Mormon movie. True, the jokes in this one aren't too exclusive to Mormons. Then again, it's hard to tell what was a joke and what was a loud ringing sensation in my ears.

Please, do NOT see this movie. Keep in your mind the fantasy that this movie is hilarious. Spare yourself the disappointment I went through