Komodo vs. Cobra

I can admit right away that this is one of the worst movies i have seen in my life. And that is not saying a little, because i consider myself to be somewhat of an aficionado when it comes to crappy film. But this is beyond bad. This movie is so awful that there is no fun left in it, it's just bad.

Reviewing this is almost impossible. There are no strong points and nothing positive to say. I'll just ramble about a few of the points that sucked. First off, the CGI has to be one of the worst i've seen. I can't believe this movie was made in 2005, the CGI reminds me of something i might have seen in Babylon 5 way back when CGI was new and fresh. It's poor beyond belief. Second, the actors all seem like they belong in the worst kind of daytime soaps. And looking at their resumes i see that i'm correct... Thirdly, being able to breed enormous reptiles is no match to the other technology they invented in this movie: the recoilless pistol with infinite ammo! Seriously, Michael Paré fires 100-200 times without reloading in every other scene... As if that was not enough there are also shape-shifting planes! At first they are regular F-16 fighters, in the next scene they are something else completely, and in the third scene they are F-16 again! If you're buying stock footage, please don't mix it like this!

Honestly, there is loads more to say, but i think i'll stop. You all understand what i'm saying. Honestly i didn't think this kind of movie was made any more. It's like something Ed Wood would do. Completely ignorant of quality, not caring how anything looks... It's almost amazing in all it's awfulness. If i could give it 0/10 i would, but 1/10 is the lowest grade. So that's it.

Watched this film with friends, got drunk, cool evening!

The story takes place on some random island inhabited by a giant Komodo and a supersized, swimming Cobra. A group of people, including an alcoholic sea captain and a few bimbos, one of which is a scientist, end up being stuck on this island with nowhere to run.

What I found most enjoyable about this movie was the utter lack of the following: script, good acting and realism (apart from the giant creatures of course).

I you are the sort of person who enjoys seeing a giant komodo run after a chick with baywatch-size knockers, this film is for you. Otherwise, you might find this movie to be somewhat of an offense to your intellect.

(By the way, Jay Andrews (Wynorski or whatever this guys name is) did another film, Shockwave, with the exact same scenario, except that the cobra and komodo were replaced by alien robots, good stuff).

When moviegoers hear two popular villains/characters will be fighting, they flock to the theaters to see how the battle will end. There's Freddy vs. Jason, in which two very popular horror icons try to kill each other. And, more similarly to this, there's Godzilla vs. (Insert Name Here). But the very generic Komodo vs. Python is just a horrible title, and an even worse premise. Obviously, the movie's a D-list picture, but, at least come up with a more compelling name, maybe something that can trick the unsuspecting viewer into watching it. With a name like this, you know what you're getting in to.

A group of military men/women, including a 20-something year old sexy scientist woman are left for dead by the military on an island inhabited by a giant komodo dragon. As long as they can make it off the island and to the boat, they'll be fine, but...no...there's a giant python guarding the ocean and the way off. Let's hope all these guys can make it off the island, and that the python and komodo don't verse each other in some sort of horrible special effect battle.

Really, this movie is bad in almost every way. The acting is pretty bad, or maybe it's that the special effects are so cheesy, that the acting is unbelievable because no one believes that these people are in any danger with creatures that look like they were made on an early 90s computer. Nonetheless, this movie is actually pretty funny. The creatures are so clunky looking, and the actors really give it their all pretending like they're in danger.

I'd like to say that this movie is a steaming pile of sh*squawk!*...but I can't. This PG-13 rated film actually bleeps itself out. Every time a curse word comes, a parrot noise beeps out the word. Even words that can be said on network television. How *squawk*ing cheap that they bleep out words, and with a parrot no less. Eventually these parrot noises got to me and I couldn't help but laugh at the incompetence.

This movie is bad, from the silly beginning to the ridiculous Night of the Living Dead style ending, but it's also kind of funny. As a horror movie it fails miserably, as an action movie, it fails slightly less, but still pretty bad, and as a comedy it shines.

My rating: * out of ****. 95 mins. PG-13 for some violence and Squawked out cursing.

If you're looking for a movie that's fun to watch simply because you can make jokes about the not so great acting, cheesy "special" effects, and typical sci-fi plot...then this is the movie for you! Not at the acting was bad, in fact, a few actors were actually fairly decent. The special effects weren't the greatest (to say the least); the animals looked completely computer animated. There was an annoying squawking to cover up the swearing and there was only one song played over and over again throughout the entire movie. Overall, a good movie if you're looking for something completely cheesy and fun to make fun of. Not a good movie to watch if you're looking for something serious.

KOMODO VS. COBRA is another Z-grade slice of movie monster entertainment from prolific B-movie king Jim Wynorski. This one's a bottom-of-the-barrel production that throws together all the elements familiar from Wynorski's movies: bad acting, cardboard characters, top-heavy starlets in revealing attire, and massive CGI monsters that look like they belong in an old Playstation game.

This one's a kind of spiritual successor to the awfulness that was BOA VS. PYTHON, as it follows almost exactly the same storyline. On a remote tropical island (shades of JURASSIC PARK, which this film so wants to be), dastardly scientists have been genetically experimenting on the wildlife, leading to a pair of giant monsters wreaking havoc on the unsuspecting tourists. What it all boils down to is an average action-adventure template with characters running around and emoting and occasionally being bloodlessly eaten by the beasties.

The special effects are very poor here, although not the poorest I've seen, but the monster action could have been worse, I suppose. There are a few memorably icky moments, like the bit with the giant leeches, which is well achieved. Otherwise, it's business as usual for the B-movie genre.