The Slaughterhouse Massacre

A quick word of advice to everyone involved in this movie, just quit and learn another trade before it's too late, since the movie business is obviously not the right direction for you.

Yes, I'm really getting fed up with modern horror movies, with perfect looking teenagers, who of course aren't played by teenagers at all. The guys are all acting like arrogant jerks while the girls are just acting and looking slutty, thinking that they are all cool and the world is theirs. But seriously, this is not even why this movie is such a formulaic but above all things horrible one to watch.

What an enormous mess of a movie this is. There is actually literally nothing happening in the first halve and once the 'killer' enters into the story you at first don't even realize it because it all gets told so incredibly bad. seriously, half of the time I couldn't even tell what was happening because of the incredibly sloppy way this movie got shot and told in. And yes, it would had been nice if there was actually something interesting or tense happening in it.

The concept is as simple and weak as can be really about a bunch of lame drunk teens deciding to go to an old abandoned slaughterhouse were once the owner got killed in. And really, that is basically all that this movie is; a bunch of teenagers walking around an old abandoned slaughterhouse, being and looking all scared while nothing is ever happening. It seems that they randomly suddenly split up and end up getting wounded. Sorry but I just couldn't tell what was happening in this movie and why.

It gets so incredibly poorly brought to the screen by both the cast & crew that was involved with this movie. It obviously 'borrows' from many other genre movies but it even doesn't do this very well at all. I just couldn't believe how bad and silly this movie was looking at times. There are lots of clumsy moments in it and they seemed to have basically no idea how to make a decent horror movie, or just a movie in general. There are also some really awkward, supposedly dramatic, moments in this movie, that just seem to go on for ever. They don't know when to end certain stuff or how to keep a movie going and build up something.

Nothing good or half decent about this movie. Don't be like me and don't waste any of your time on this.

1/10

http://bobafett1138.blogspot.com/

cheesy,cheesy,cheesy..............most predictable, if I were a 12 year old boy looking for cheap nudity and sex this would be my kind of movie. however I wasn't grossed out or scared and I knew before it happened who was gonna die. it was however good for a laugh. if you enjoy titles such as evil tunes this may be right up your alley. there are many shots of girls running around in undies and bras, sometimes less. I found myself wondering if a more stupid group of people on the planet ever existed. the set was pretty lame and the acting was way bad. this is one rental I want my money back for. if you are looking for laughs rent this, if you are looking for blood and gore look elsewhere.

OK. I'll make this short and sweet;; this movie is horrible! It would be absolute heaven for a ten year old boy that has never seen boobs before and wants to brag to his friends bout it.

Seriously if a man comes to your door and offers you eternal life if you watch this junk tell him to clear off cause it's really not worth your energy. I'd rather be beaten by a corpse then watch this again.

Oh and for anyone that says it wasn't that bad did you fall asleep during this and dream you were watching a good movie with celebrities?

Only buy Slaughterhouse Massacre/Sickle if you have a death wish or your being held at gun point.

One * out of ten and I'm being generous.

A group of guys and girls check out an old murder scene in an abandoned animal slaughterhouse. Bet you don't know what will happen next, well unless you have even a minimal amount of slasher film knowledge. Lazy, derivative, cheap, bland, and worst of all boring, this pathetic film brings absolutely nothing new, or watchable, to the table. Terrible acting, pathetic special effects,It's not even worth the bandwidth I used up watching this horrid swill on Netflix and I feel really bad for those that actually shelled out money to watch it. Even the nudity that front loaded the beginning of the movie could save this one from the trash pile.

First of all I had a really hard time giving this video a rating of one. Since there were no zero's I will have to suffer. Secondly, thanks to Lions Gate I have officially wasted good hard earned dough and 90 minutes out of my life. I wasn't going to dignify this film with a review at all, until I noticed their GLORIOUS CLAIM on the DVD box cover "More frightening than The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" - "Independent Film Quarterly."

Now, I'm not sure who it was over there at IFQ or should I say "Lions Gate Affiliate"... But the critic should be "independently" drawn and "quartered" for the cash exchanging hands in that deal. Although, I can say that the critic might be right in one respect. I was very frightening that anyone picked this film up for distribution and had the brass to put it on a rental shelf. I can forgive the bad acting, the bad effects, the bad sound and the over all bad direction of the film. After all it is a slasher film.

I was a little lost at times in the story though, not because there was no real story to begin with. But, because they show a couple of the same shots over and over again throughout the film. So, I wasn't sure if my DVD player was having a fit because of the crap I put in it. Words to the filmmakers... Shoot coverage. I don't know might help in the future.

As for our Marty Sickle, I've been more frightened of the Telletubbies than I was of the comical sickle wielding Marty who was more annoying than scary. At least I can sort of understand what the telletubbies are saying. The effects in this film look like they were done on a second-generation etch-a-sketch. Eighty percent of this cast was pulled from the local strip club and the nudity and sex scenes were over the top and completely out of place in the story. At times I felt I was watching a really, really, really bad porn rather than just a really, really, really bad slasher film. At least get hot chicks if your going to go that route guys.

The audio in this picture is so terrible from bad mix levels that sixty-five percent of this video is completely inaudible. The acting was more than atrocious and the chase scenes in the slaughterhouse were comical to say the least, with four bumbling idiots running in circles from a corny run of the mill bad acting killer with... guess what?.... a sickle. Boy, the writer on this film must have felt so profound when he was pitching this. Oh wait, he must be profound. He wrote, directed, starred, and was a full time fluff girl on the set. I will however, say that the fake stuffed rat in the picture did a great job. I smell Oscar.

If you want to see scary, go into your kitchen, get out a dull butter knife and slit your own wrists with it. It's exactly what I wanted to do during this film. Congrats to the filmmakers and Lions Gate, you have added to the piles of crap the rest of us have to weed through to watch decent movies.

Hey, at least the DVD I returned to the rental shelves is now so scratched maybe they will just toss it... AVOID this film at all cost's.

P.S. Note to filmmaker. Never put a fake claim on a DVD box cover. It just sets yourself up for bad comments.