Unseen Evil 2

After opening with some mandatory female toplessness, UNSEEN EVIL 2 begins.

Three nameless characters (aka: monster fodder) are investigating a cave, when they immediately discover a massive treasure. This isn't difficult, since it's sitting right out in the open. Obviously, there are monsters about, and the anonymous trio is quickly reduced to red, icky goo.

Next, a group of belligerent paramilitary types, with a collective IQ of about 8, are sent to investigate the cave. Haphazard plotting and unforgivable non-action ensue. The dialogue appears to have been written on the fly, by semi-sentient mildew, and certainly, the roles could have been played with equal believability, by a team of home-cleaning robots.

The only thing worse than the humans in this movie is the "monster" itself. This is due to the "special" effects, that can only be described, in technical terms, as digital dung. The shameful CGI is far inferior to that used in first generation DOOM computer animation. Making matters even worse, the "practical" effects amount to a giant, rubber homunculus that blubbers around while killing Priscilla Barnes! This is followed by the blatant burning of a toy building, standing in for some actual structure.

This sewer raft co-stars Phoebe Dollar, who always seems to gravitate toward these wretched roles. Sometimes she's good. Here, well...

First things first. The Monster on the cover art is not in the movie, it is not even a decent facsimile.

Now on to this watchable piece of turd B midnight, one too many beers special.

The gore was funny and way way over the top. The CG blood was surprising good even in slow-mo. Watching Lorenzo Lamas(wearing the same clothes as in "deep evil"..these must have been made back to back) getting cut in half was worth the 10 bucks I paid for this...Hilarious. I would not be surprised if they spent 1/2 their budget of about 3.00 bucks on the gore.

The acting topped out with Lamas and went down hill from there, if you know his work then you can pretty much put together the quality of the acting based on what you think of Lamas.

I laughed and smiled though most of this piece of visual bubble gum.

If you like your B movies silly, fast paced and pretty gory, try this one.

I gave a 5 stars. The movie does not deserve even one. But after forcing myself through this epic piece of cr*p, I went to the mall and bought a DVD. That's how bad this is. Terrible acting with many embarrassing scenes, horrendous CGI and the story-line which puts the dot on it.

So if you are looking for something that is really so bad that it's actually worth watching, this "unseen piece of cr*p 2" suits just to that category.

I too, had the "mis-fortune" of seeing this movie before the street date. If this movie cost more than $25,000 to make, the producers of this movie need to get receipts for everything, because none of it went into the special effects. I shouldn't even use the word special effects at all because there definitely wasn't anything special about them. I don't think I would even label this a "B" movie. Try C, D, or F+. Take the military helicopter, for instance. It's a remote-controlled model. It looks as real as a dog's chew toy that resembles a hamburger.

And what type of blackmail did they use to get Lorenzo Lamas. I know he works the "B" movie circuit but this is a new low. How low can you go? "Alien 3000" low.

This is definitely not worth seeing if you are paying. Now if a friend gets it and you enjoy bad movies then watch away. You will find yourself laughing most of the way through. There is plenty to laugh at: stereotypical characters, bad sets, bad acting, bad effects (or lack thereof). I think my rating of 2 out of 10 is probably a bit high.

WHHOOOOAAAAAH! YAY! Anyone with a decent sense of humor and all bad movie-lovers in general: SEE THIS MOVIE! It's UN-BE-LIE-VA-BLE and ranks way up there in the 'so-bad-it-is-hilarious' top whatever list! It fits the description ALIEN/PREDATOR Z-grade rip-off. And it also makes no sense whatsoever: In the first half of the movie we see different sorts of extremely bad transparent CGI creatures in a cave, ripping people apart. In the second half, the movie simply ignores them, and we see a dude in a very bad rubber monster-suit (at least 5 times worse than the monster in DNA) with Predator-like invisibility abilities running around shredding people.

Totally bad acting in this one, of course. Lorenzo Lamas is listed as the star-power of this movie, but he only has a cameo. It looks like he's on a booze burn-out and gets killed off before he even had any clue what he was doing in this movie. And the effects are simply amazingly bad... and there are a lot of them. I was laughing out loud the whole way through the movie. One highlight in the effects department (and as a scene in general) was definitely when the alien/predator (CGI) jumps up from the ground, high in the air and glues himself to the window of a helicopter. Lorenzo and his buddy freak out over this and just jump out of the helicopter (still waaaay up in the air). The next shot has them rolling over the ground (like if they just jumped off a table) without even a scratch and then we see a miniature helicopter (still in the air) blow up, its tail out of the frame, like if someone was holding it to make it look like it was still flying. Man, man, man... I could go on and on... but just go and rent it. It really is worth your money, if you know what I mean. And luckily, it doesn't skimp on the gore too. Oh, and just in order to warn you again about the fact that you're being ripped-off so bad that it hurts: The cool monster on the ALIEN 3000 (its AKA-title) cover-art (it looks like a cross between H.R. Giger's Alien-design and Pumpkinhead), isn't even in the movie. I don't know where the hell the advertisers got that picture from, but it sure looks like a million dollars compared to what you get to see in the movie. And also make sure to see the totally moronic interview in the extra features with the foreign (as in: Not-American) guy who played the alien. He even has his mask on during the interview. Boy, oh, boy, some movies.... Did I mention this movie opens with a shot of naked boobies?

UNSEEN EVIL 2 apparently is a sequel (Du-uh?) to a movie starring Tim Thomerson. They feature a 2-second long shot of Mr. Thomerson in this sequel that doesn't really fit or match with anything else in UNSEEN EVIL 2. I guess the producers decided to insert Tim to enhance the "cool-factor" of UNSEEN EVIL 2. Now it would be far too easy to give this movie a 1/10 star rating. So I'll throw an extra point in the mix. Or maybe not, hèhèh. This movie needs to be seen. Go watch it. I myself need to hunt down the first one, although I have a feeling that things just can't get any better than... UNSEEN EVIL 2 aka ALIEN 3000.