- Sheriff Hoyt: [after shooting the sheriff of a small town] Damn, I just killed the entire police department!
- Dean: [Charlie walks in the door and Dean hits him] You motherfucker! Now, lets see what kind of soldier you are sheriff.
- [Hits his head into the ground]
- Dean: One! That was beautiful form sheriff!
- [Smashes his head into the ground more]
- Dean: Two! Halfway doesn't count dick head.
- [Smashes his head again]
- Dean: Three! Is that all you got, is that all you fucking got
- [Continually smashing his Charlie's head into the ground]
- Dean: You killed my girlfriend! Fuck you asshole, Fuck YOU! -
- [pause]
- Dean: My money says your not goin' anywhere.
- [Hits his head into the ground once more, Charlie spits out blood and teeth, Dean then hears the sound of the Chainsaw]
- Sheriff Hoyt: [after seeing Leatherface with a mask for the first time] I like your new face.
- Tea Lady: I just can't stop eating those little chocolates. They are soo good!
- Luda Mae: I put coconut in them!
- Tea Lady: Oh sweet Jesus!
- [last lines]
- Narrator: From 1969 to 1973, the Hewitt family murdered thirty-three people across the state of Texas. To this day, it is universally considered the most notorious and brutally sadistic killing spree in the annals of American history: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
- Chrissie: [Charlie, or "Hoyt" finishes saying grace] I have a question for you. It involves the family tree, the lineage, if you will. Its like a system through a table...
- [pauses]
- Chrissie: Do you guys fuck all your cousins, or just the ones you find attractive?
- Sheriff Hoyt: You blasphemous Bitch! This is redemption lady, thats what this is! Oh your all gonna pay for your sins, thats right. And especially you!
- Sheriff Hoyt: [to Eric] You don't like playin' with me anymore 'cause I'm a pussy, that's what you said. Well my nephew Tommy ain't no pussy, maybe you wanna play with him for a little while.
- Chrissie: Tell me something, Do you fuck all of your cousins or just the ones you find attractive?
- Sheriff Hoyt: Come on Tommy, Ain't no different than the slaughterhouse. Meat's meat, Bone's bone... Get it done.
- Sheriff Hoyt: [after shooting the Sheriff] Holy Shit! I just killed the whole fucking Sheriff's department... wonder what that felt like?
- Sheriff Hoyt: People may not remember what we say here tonight, but by God they'll remember what we did.
- Bailey: I'm going to use my tongue in ways the Lord never intended.
- Sheriff Hoyt: Tommy? Tommy? We need you upstairs. Bring your lil' toy with you.
- Luda Mae: What are you goona do to him?
- Sheriff Hoyt: Nothin' but a little surgery. Come on now Tommy.
- [Chainsaw revs, Monty's leg is sliced off, the other leg cut in the process]
- Monty: AAAAAAAAAHH!
- Sheriff Hoyt: Now come on Tommy, that's sloppy work. Fix it up!
- Luda Mae: No No!
- Monty: AAAAAAAAAAHH!
- [Cuts off other leg clean]
- Luda Mae: What on earth didya do that for?
- Sheriff Hoyt: You know, jus' to balance things out.
- Sheriff Hoyt: [Hoyt looks at Monty's freshly severed leg cut off by Leatherface] Look at that, that's not neat at all. Even 'em up boy!
- [Leatherface proceeds to cut off the other leg]
- Sheriff Winston: [about tom aka Leatherface] You raised that retard right, you and me, we aint takin' this drive right now.
- Sheriff Hoyt: He aint retarded, he's misunderstood.
- [seeing Baby Thomas aka Baby Leatherface for the first time]
- Young Luda Mae: Isn't he beautiful?
- Sheriff Hoyt: That's the ugliest thing I ever saw.
- [Monty is urinating]
- Monty: You little bastard, I know you got more in there.
- Sheriff Hoyt: We're on our own tonight people... and alone, we shall rise above it all!
- Sheriff Hoyt: Get her in there! I think you like wasting my time blondie!
- Sheriff Hoyt: There comes a time, when a boy, becomes a man.
- Holden: I'm looking for the girl.
- Sheriff Hoyt: The girl? She's right there.
- [Points to Bailey]
- Holden: That's not her.
- Sheriff Hoyt: Well if that's not the girl then... oh I don't think you wanna see the other one.
- Chrissie: Do you just fuck all your cousins, or just the ones you find attractive?
- Sloane: Boss, I need a bathroom break.
- Sheriff Hoyt: As long as we stick t'geth'r th'ain't nuthin' we can't handle!
- Bailey: We're going on a road trip!
- Bailey: This may come as a shock to you, but most guys are into this kind of thing.
- Chrissie: What are you doing?
- Eric: Shh, i gotta sneak up on them, and catch them.
- Chrissie: Catch who?
- Eric: Gooks in the swamp.
- Chrissie: Eric, the only thing you're gonna catch in this water's disease!
- Bailey: Normal guys would die for this.
- Dean: I'm just distracted.
- Alex: [points her shotgun at Eric] Wow, man, I am impressed. Y'all are tougher than I thought.
- Eric: [holds his hands up in surrender] What do you want from us?
- Alex: [chuckles] Oh... everything. How about we get this robbery thing out of the way, huh?
- [points her shotgun at Dean and Bailey in the jeep, Sheriff Hoyt's car arrives and pulls up at the scene]
- Alex: [quietly] Fuck.
- [to Eric]
- Alex: You play along, and I won't have to kill this fucking cop or you.
- [walks up to the Sheriff's car]
- Alex: Get up!
- [Eric gets up as Hoyt exits the car with a shotgun and approaches Alex]
- Alex: I'm glad you're here, officer.
- Sheriff Hoyt: Oh, I just bet you are.
- [shoots Alex dead]
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