Riding the Bus with My Sister

I found myself torn when I was choosing a rating for this film. Of course, the easy choice (the one I went with) is to give it a 1. It is, after all, an awful, awful, awful movie. However, if you view it in the proper mindset, you may not have a better two hours watching a movie than you will watching Riding the Bus with My Sister.

First, let me explain that it's not a garden variety "let's make fun of people that are different than us" type of enjoyment. In fact, that shouldn't really be enjoyable unless you are in a room of people who know you are kidding. If you TRULY derive joy from making fun of people who are different from you, then you might want to change a few things about yourself. What makes this movie fun is that you are making fun of two HORRIBLE actors delivering two HORRIBLE performances.

Now, to expect brilliance from either Rosie O'Donnell or Andie McDowell is probably akin to Sisyphus' struggle--you're going to be disappointed repeatedly when you don't find brilliance. This film might just be the best example that Andie McDowell's best acting was in make-up commercials and Rosie O'Donnell's best acting is done with the TV on mute.

I'll start with Rosie. I believe I read somewhere that her performance sounded like an Asian comedian doing a horrible impression of a combination of Pee Wee Herman and Adam Sandler. That's pretty close, only without comedic intent that such an impression would carry with it. What makes her performance laughable is the thought that I had while watching it--she is probably proud of this performance. There is literally only one line she delivers that is NOT delivered in the same manner as all the others. Most are given with a word screamed somewhere in the middle of the sentence while she gives herself an intentional facial contortion that makes her seem like she is making fun of mentally handicapped people. She also never stops rocking or moving her feet. And her hands remain in the same position the entire film. It's a farce. I look at it and I think, "How could anyone be seriously moved by this?" But that was clearly the intent. Failure by Rosie on every possible front.

Andie McDowell. Well, she is fine (and by "fine" I mean she doesn't single handedly ruin the film) when she is only asked to be mildly attractive with a southern drawl. If you ask her to do more than that, she is going to let you down. Well, they asked her to do a whole lot more than that in this film. She failed. Repeatedly. Egregiously. I am in the camp that thinks her performance is even worse than Rosie, because at least Rosie was being different than Rosie is in real life. This was Andie McDowell as we have always seen her. Trouble is, in Groudhog Day she is required to be mildly attractive with a southern drawl, in this movie she is required to have a character arc. Her arc goes from acting like she's tired (which is my favorite of her scenes. Watch how you can almost tangibly see her say "what do I do when I am tired. I know. I yawn and stretch.") to saying she loves her sister. The character NEVER changes. She reacts to these two events with the same exact reactions. Inflection, apparently, is something she thinks you can cover up with L'Oreal.

I could go on, but what's the point. These are the two central performances in the film and they are laughably bad from start to finish. That's the key, though. They are LAUGHABLY bad. So watch this movie and laugh at it. Don't feel bad, either. You're not laughing at people who are different than you. You are laughing at AWFUL actresses, although I HOPE they are different from you as well.

I would normally dismiss a film like this as tear-jerking rubbish but I have to admit this film grabbed me and held me captive almost entirely due to the fantastic performance by Rosie O'Donnell! Who would have thought?!

The movie does have a sad tone to it at times too; I was particularly saddened to see Andie McDowell with a pot belly in the beginning of the film where she is exercising on the treadmill. I guess things must change in life as time goes on.

Rosie steals the show though. Her emphatic "I'm a person!" statements, her faces, her body language, her use of her voice for emphasis were all parts of what adds up to a world-class performance. Curly Howard could not have done better were he a female actor. The scene at the beach where she is jumping up and down, waving her arms and yelling had me laughing out loud, and nearly all her interactions with the people on any of the bus rides were hilarious. Bravo!

The rest of the characters were almost entirely meaningless, though they didn't detract from the movie itself. Place Rosie and Andie as their respective characters in any situation and you've got a runaway success; the real tragedy is that this film placed the two characters in an evening TV drama -- a genre that virtually guarantees the audience would be ill-equipped to appreciate them.

If you want to laugh out loud, watch this film; it's among the funniest non-comedies out there at this point!

Beth is mentally challenged and can't hold a job, but she is able to live by herself, with some help from her father. Her favorite activity is riding the various buses in her city, and she considers many of the bus drivers to be friends (Eugene is an exception), as well as a number of passengers. Some of the passengers, though, find her annoying and wish she would get a job and stop living off the government. Beth also has a boyfriend Jesse who is a lot like her but can work. Beth is white and Jesse is black, but this doesn't seem to be shown as a problem.

Beth's sister Rachel has a fast-paced career as a big-city fashion photographer. She has to put her life on hold when the girls' father dies, because someone has to make sure Beth is taken care of. Otherwise Beth will end up in a group home, which she doesn't want to do again. There is a brother and a stepmother (and a mother who has long since lost any chance of reviving a relationship with her daughters), but Rachel ends up having to take the responsibility. This puts her relationship with her boyfriend at risk.

I find Rosie O'Donnell annoying when she is being herself or playing a character like her. Beth was ten times worse, at first. But seeing how much almost everyone cared about her made me feel the same way, and I soon felt bad whenever Beth was mistreated. O'Donnell effectively showed not only the normal behavior of someone mentally disabled, but she did quite well in unusual situations. And she carefully showed a tic that Beth often had before speaking.

Andie MacDowell also did quite well as the flawed but appealing character of Rachel. Rachel could be impatient and somewhat selfish, but her concern for her sister won out. D. W. Moffett also stood out as Beth's favorite bus driver Rick.

Some unsettling but effective flashbacks to the girls' early life showed the events that helped lead to who they became.

Overall, this was well done.

Rosie O'Donnell can act. She was great as the wiseacre in A League of Their Own and passable in a similar role in the sequel to Stakeout. Since I'm being generous, her talk show was even entertaining at times, if you go in for that celebrity-fawning type of thing. But this performance is so embarrassingly awful you might question whether she is indeed acting or if she has been struck with what her character suffers from. How else to explain her choices? Mismatched pastel Chuck Taylors with a Tweety Bird T-shirt? A voice somewhere between Pee-wee Herman and Yoda, but without the likability? If Rosie really wanted to do something for the mentally challenged, she would have stuck to executive producing and hired an actual mentally challenged actor. It's not like they could do any worse. From the Forrest Gump pose on a bench on the DVD cover to the Rainmanesque quips, she seems to be changing her characterization every scene. And let's not forget who directed? John Huston's very own daughter. I mean Anjelica Huston must have watched her dad's films. She was practically married to Jack Nicholson so she must have watched his films. Do you not think just a little bit of that talent might have rubbed off on her? This is clearly ego run amok. High-profile celebrities trying "to make a difference" but just demonstrating how woefully out-of-touch they are.

This was basically your standard Lifetime network kind of drama, with one, horrid exception: Rosie O'Donnell. I hear she produced this movie, which I suppose is the best explanation for why no one on the production acted to remove her for another more qualfied actress.

Evidently Rosie subscribes to the "worst stereotypes of mentally handicapped persons" school of acting. She balls up her fists and hold them close to my chest, like some gigantic flightless bird. She juts her lower chin out, her face frozen with about as much depth of feeling as an extra in a George Romero "Living Dead" movie...and her voice. It is not an exaggeration to say, if it were used against Iraqi prisoners, it would be at the top of the Human Rights violations list. This combination croak / screech - Gilford Godfrey, part Pee-Wee Herman, and part "Which Way Did He Go, George?" - is in fact a talent; neither my wife nor I could actually reproduce this noise she was making. Mentally challenged folk do not look like this, do not talk like this. Her performance insults them.

She is an insult to acting. Watching 10 seconds of her insulted my intelligence as well as assaulted my senses. The actors who worked with her should have their therapy bills covered by the studio.