Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave

This has to be the lowest of the many lows that the Sci-Fi Channel has finally reached. What an horrible, awful movie. This movie is just plain awful. Rats become zombies and then disappear and are never seen again. The special effects are pathetic. Over and over again the zombies bite into the heads of victims and a tiny squirt of blood is occasionally shown.

The actors have thick Russian accents and claim to be agents for the U.S. Government. The moronic efforts at comic relief are insipid and horribly dumb. There is absolutely nothing good about this film. Return of The Living Dead Part III, was an excellent movie, too bad the Scum-Fi Channel did two horrible sequels. ROTLD 5 is a disgrace to all zombie movies.

I've seen lots and lots of zombie flicks. From the original Night of the Living Dead to WW Z. I prefer the slow walking zombies to the faster ones. This movies has some chuckles in it. The premise is the same; breasts and brain craving zombies. I did like the drug made from zombie fluid thing, it's a new wrinkle. There have been such a glut of this genre. From indie to Hollywood, due the success of The Walking Dead (which I find only marginal). I've always wondered were are the obese, limb missing or any other handicapped zombies. Overall if you want too watch a zombie movie while searching around the internet, this one will do.

This final (?) film in the Return Of The Living Dead horror film franchise puts a final nail in the lid of the coffin for this series. The film has little to do with previous entries, except for the Trioxcin gas found in the barrels. Supposedly this is a sequel to part 4. Some of the main characters return, true. They have graduated from high school and are now in college. The problem lies in the fact that they have all seemingly forgotten what befell them in the previous film. So when the barrel with the gas and the zombies do show up, it is as if it is all brand new. Heck, even main character Julian seems to have forgotten that he hates his uncle (Peter Coyote in a very small cameo) after the events of the last film. The zombies are not very exciting visually (mostly some grey skin and latex cheekbones) and the rules of how they act seem to change as the story decrees it necessary. For instance, at times they can run and later on they can only shuffle about. Its too bad that the series had to go out on such a low note. It really did deserve better than this.

This is a truly hateful movie, towards fans of the series and zombie fans in general. The ROTLD movies have often pride themselves on being the "true" story of Romero's NightOTLD and have been usually fun to watch for the humor and effects. This one has neither, nor anything that truly ties it together with the past sequels. The only thing this movie is full of is stupidity; pure, undiluted stupidity.

Having found one of the familiar 'zombie' tanks, that just happen to be lying around, a group of college students take it to their campus labs in hopes of understanding what it is...so they use it in making a drug called "Z"(...Ha...ha...). What follows is menagerie of plot holes and thoughtless actions, which are the only way the plot, which is deader than any of the 'zombies' in the film, is able to move along.

As for the reason I mention 'zombies' is because unlike the previous movies, these 'zombies' CAN die from head-shots, or even getting their ears punctured. They smell when they turn, pretty much instantly, even though they aren't really rotting or can sweat. We also have 'zombie' rats that can't tell a real brain from plastic one on an anatomy figure. Then we have a line of up people just meant to be eaten; not batting an eye the panicking people, hear or see the 'zombies' coming, or able to even fight back, to help spread the plague.

As for the 'zombie' drug, it has a random release time depending on weight, age, and other factors of the buyer, which we learn about a quarter into the third act. So even though the drug has been in circulation for maybe week, and consumed countless times by annoying DJ and the dealer, we don't get any 'zombies' until near the end of the second act. Which also gives us time for a bunch of time with the truly despicable characters of the film.

There is not even a single thing laughable in this movie. It tries to be funny, thinking that oblivious characters or ironic T-shirts are humorous, but ultimately falls short of the punchline with both ankles snapped off. It does manage a statically impossibility ability to not make you laugh at the sheer stupidity of anything.

If you are a fan of zombie movies, never watch this one. It's not even 'so bad it's good', more like 'so bad you will be buying a new TV because you'll have put your fist through the screen'. If you find a copy, I implore you to burn it to ashes, never spend a dime on it, rented or otherwise.

Why..........why............why..........were these two movies made? Why did you get Fangoria to write an article that made these movies seem worth watching? The article was better than the movies. What were you thinking being somewhat reputable as B-movie writers, directors, and actors claiming in Fangoria that "Bill (Butler) wrote the Rave script dealing with the fans directly." What fans? We zombie fans aren't such a hard-to-please bunch, but I think that "the fans" would be offended to be in any way linked with this piece of crap and that other Necropolis disaster. These two movies made me saddened in general, but fortunately, Land of the Dead was being re-released in an unrated director's cut a couple of days later and the interview with Mr.Romero reaffirmed my love for good directors committed to bringing us, the fans, quality zombie film entertainment. Thank-you for listening.