Les 7 Momies

Themovie opens with a horribly lame scene - two men in the desert, no town nearby, no horses, no provisions, and dragging a casket. Right! This is the opening to what becomes and even worse attempt at film making. Poor dialogue, poor story, unbelievable circumstance, and mediocre - at best - make up effects make this one big bomb of a stinker. Don't get me wrong, I'm a HUGE fan of horror and have been since near birth. Love low-budget films since they nearly all contain the raw, gritty edge that Hollywood films almost always lack. But 7 Mummies is not worth anyones time let alone the money they spent to make this. The direction is just plain bad with overly long cut scenes and poor angles that do no justice to the forced story line. Just a big bunch of YUCK!

Two haggard old men are dragging a coffin full of gold coins out in the desert, long story short they're killed. Fast forward to present day which has 6 convicts escaping when their transport crashes in the same aforementioned desert. Taking the hot prison guard hostage, and on their way to the border of Mexico, they run into an elderly Indian (played by Danny Trejo!!) who tells them of how riches beyond their wildest dreams could be had buried under an old ghost town. They decide to take a detour to get this gold while Trejo laughs... for minutes on end. However all the denizens of said town are a little long in the fang, to say the least. The community headed by Drake (good ol' Billy Drago) has plans for these convicts. This flick while never something even approaching what someone might deem good, was enjoyable enough...up to a point. That point being when all the illogical nonsense going on got so high that I didn't know what the hell was going on, much less cared. It would have made an interesting 20 minute short MAYBE, but as a feature film, it meandered too often. Drago was the main draw for this one, as Danny Trejo, normally great, is just plain weird in the movie. Too make matters worse the nudity is very poorly lit.

Eye Candy: it's very darkly lit, but Ananda St. James does bare her humongous rack

My Grade: D+

Admitted, I love bad movies (eg. Evil alien conquerors) and horror movies, but this movie was however bad in a REALLY bad way. It made absolutely no sense what so ever, horrible lighting, disastrous camera work, acting, etc...

It seems the people writing the script thought of "cool" ideas for a 30 minutes movie and then just filled in the rest with meaningless nonsense. I cannot believe anybody would put their names on this kind of crap.

I could go on for pages about how horrible it was, but being the optimist I am, I will mention the only two good things about the movie: It was the first movie I have seen, containing Ninja-Priest-Mummies and it contained quite some large boobies. Besides that it absolutely sucked ass!

Do not watch this movie without serious masochistic tendencies!

I don't even know where to begin. Just watching this movie all the way to the end was painful. The plot jumped around non-stop, and it was practically impossible to follow, even though it was incredibly simplistic. Other reviews claimed that the casting and makeup were 'great', but I didn't think that either was especially good. I can't comment on the 'stunts' because there weren't any that were bigger than someone rolling off a 1-storey roof onto the ground.

The lighting throughout the whole movie was horrible, so it was difficult to even see what was going on half the time. The music was poorly chosen and was played so loud that it drowned out the dialog. Although, drowning out the dialog may have been a good thing since the dialog itself was dull and repetitive. The so-called climax of the movie was in fact the most anti-climactic part of the movie.

I strongly recommend that anyone considering seeing this movie should NOT see it instead. It's too bad the vote system won't accept votes lower than 1.

The title says it all. Danny Trejo isn't the only similarity between FDTD and this bad copycat. The plot is so similar, the events almost exactly the same, it's almost funny.

It's starts like a action/criminal movie, and then, in some dark bar, it suddenly turns into a horror type of thing. Sounds familiar???

And it even isn't done very good. The acting is poor, the creatures are poor, hell, even Danny Trejo is poor.

So, as a horror fan, I can only give you 1 advice: Keep away from this movie. Actually, keep away from all movies that have "mummy" in their title