Bite Me!

The first thing that comes to mind when thinking of a Brett Piper film is that we are going to divulge the next hour or so into a stop motion monster fest. You like what Ray Harryhausen did for the genre back in the KONG KONG and CLASH OF THE TITAN days? Then I think you might like what the ole Piper boy can do himself. If you don't mind the gratuitous violence and sex appeal. I'm pretty sure you don't.

Some crazy killer weed is being shipped to a strip club where it will soon be distributed amongst the drug induced culture. But before it gets to the club, the first of the carriers get into a little trouble with some sort of spider attack. They seemed to have crept there way out of the crates containing the weed and onto the unsuspecting victims. The next pick up grabs the weed from the now deceased delivery guys and off to the strip club it goes which now a corrupt little weasel gets his hands into it to soon make a quick buck, not knowing what he really is getting his greasy little paws into. Before we get into the bug problem, the strippers Crystal (Misty Mundae), Amber (Caitlin ross), and Teresa (Julian Wells) are over over worked. To the point that Amber passes out while doing a cute and tiresome routine. Teresa is a bumbling goof ball that trips over her own 2 feet. The bar is a little in the slow. The ladies are tired and now the show needs a little pizazz. Well, lets bring in the shipment and now the fun begins. The critters are escaping and chaos ensues. The DEA gets involved since the owner is such a crook, but what he gets himself into is a whole other story. Well, not really but what happens to him is a surprise also. Bugs, boobs, jokes and laughs and a little bit of the goopy red sauce for the extra goodness.

I like to say that this would be another viewing for sure. Funny, gory and just plain cool with Brett's stop motion goofiness. The cast does a pretty good job strippin and having there way with the bugs. The only thing I found kind of a rip was the exterminator (Rob Monkiewicz of ARACHNIA and SCREAMING DEAD) playing a direct rip off of the UPS guy on Mad TV. Total rip, a little to obvious but still funny none the less. Usually he plays the serious, good call. It looks pretty flawless this time around with the stop motion. In ARACHNIA, it seemed way to cheap. Almost can't see the seems most of the time in this. Great job on that one.

A documentary, How to crash a car in 2 hours featurette, rue Morgue's Festival of Fear world premier screening (I was looking for myself in it but to no avail), Making movies with Misty, CKY video, CKY mini documentary, Booklet and more. This is surely a great bang for your buck if you are weary of cheap films. Kind of cheap but not on a Sub Rosa Studios cheapness. This is great compared to those. Long live the bugs!!!!

At the world's most lackadaisical strip club, a crate of "super" marijuana is delivered. It seems that the "wonder weed" has been infiltrated by spiders, causing them to mutate! Can giant, cartoon-y arachnids be far off?

Nope. Horror and mayhem ensue.

BITE ME! is Director Brett Piper's ultra-low budget ode to 1950's sci-fi / monster movies.

WARNING! This movie contains: Lunkheaded characters! Loads of languid, sleep-inducing nudity! Half-baked, half-wit humor! Annnd, dullness that could cause a slow, meaningless death!

SPECIAL MENTION: For the strippers, who perform their routines as though they've been given elephant tranquilizers!

Stars Erin "Misty Mundae" Brown as Crystal. Nothing can prepare you for Crystal going Rambo for the nonsensical finale!...

A romp. A fun-filled, low budget campy horror movie that is an entertaining way to spend a rainy afternoon. More original that many more expensive movies, I became an instant fan of Mr. Piper.

Never tries to be more than it is but still manages to surpass many films in it's genre, and even some movies that they spent big bucks on.

Misty Mundae, what can you say. The kind of wholesome looking innocent that we would all love to do soft porn with. I really wasn't aware of her "other work" until after seeing this film. Quite versatile, and, uh, talented.

The characters were, by necessity, not multi-dimensional (though a few would be great in 3-D), but they were fun and interesting, in an intentionally cartoonish sort of way.

this film is rubbish... campy is OK, but bad campy is a sin. the thing that makes this film really unforgivable is the attitude of it's star misty mundae who seems whiny and spoiled on her interview. you would think she had talent if you saw her interview. some have said that the nudity at least redeems the film, however the nudity is C rate also. the film just sucks and it totally misses the mark. the director seems like he doesn't have any artistic feel for even making a bad film, which i guess there is an art to everything. furthermore, the actresses come across very ignorant in there blind backing of the film with statements like "yeah i hate CG it looks so bad, stop animation is so much more real"... get off it you are giving indie films a bad rep and making us look dumb. i think they might not even know what CG is they just where told to say that. ps the stop animation is called antiquated for a reason.

A wonderful treat of a film. It's campy, it's dumb but it's pure. This movie isn't trying to be more than it is...a fun flick. There's something about this film, there's a charm to it to the dialogue and the characters. If your looking for the best horror film ever than this isn't it but if you just wanna kick back and enjoy yourself than this is a great film. This is one of those flicks that you can watch repeatably with a smile (there are Great films out there that aren't meant for repeat viewings. Once is enough for a while)For me this ranks up with some of the films I just love, so much so that I can even repeat some of the character's lines, and still doesn't loose it's charm.

There's a scene where we first meet Erika Smith's character Trix and Misty talk in front of the mirror and every time I watch it puts a smile on my face. Most people would say their interaction is board line bad acting but to me it's great scene because the girls have a charm that I can't get mad at them. There's BAD ACTING like that kid in Home Alone 3 and Briteny Spears in Cross road and there there's bad acting that's forgivable. So out of my rating of: Crap,Decent,Good, Great and a bad MF(that's saved only for films that I just adore and leave an impression on me even after the film is over) it gets "A Bad MF".