The Helix... Loaded

Director A. Raven Cruz has managed to effectively make one long tribute to the creative talents of Phil Tucker (Robot Monster), Hal Warren (Manos, the Hand of Fate), and the ubiquitous Edward D. Wood.

Now Phil Tucker at least worked with Lenny Bruce, and did have a rudimentary knowledge of editing (how else could he have cut all that stock footage into his films). And Hall Warren at least had the common decency to stop making films, after his first one. And Ed Wood, well bless his pointed angora draped head, he was just too wacky to ignore. But one thing these guys all had in common, they tried to tell a story.

The Helix: Loaded is a vanity piece masquerading as a movie. Anyone that could look at this film and believe it deserves a "10" has been sitting in a closed garage with the engine running. "The Helix: Loaded" doesn't simply suck. It Swallows!

I give it a 10, tho it deserves 7. But I give 10/10 to balance the low score which movie did not deserved. It is a nice parody on the Matrix. A lot of really funny jokes there. There were few jokes which I laugh to tears and replayed them many times. I am very thankful that there some people did this funny movie.

I loved the Matrix films and love good spoofs (AIRPLAINE, BLAZING SADDLES, SCARY MOVIE, etc.), but this movie was a huge disappointment. I saw it in an empty theater and fell asleep 3 times. The director seems to have never seen a good spoof in his life. I just mimics every scene from the MATRIX without adding anything original, much less, funny. The actors are so stiff and have such bad timing, it is like watching a high school improv class. The movie looks like it was shot on a handicam, but it has some relatively professional digital effects. However, a pretty bow and some wrapping paper can't make this stink bomb funny.

This movie even tho it may have been low budget Guerilla Indie film, is one of the best matrix spoofs ever. Even if you hate the matrix or even if you love the matrix you will find The Helix... Loaded "Loaded" with good fun insightful commentary and a rollicking good time. I highly recommend this movie to anyone who wishes to be "Enlightened" The of characters is a unique ensemble with excellent performances by All... The visual FX by Ryan Carter of Hall of Shadows are particularly good for a low budget movie. Ryan took creative approaches to creating interesting Special Visual Effects on a low budget to new heights. Outstanding job!!! If you really need a good laugh and need something thats smart as well as funny you cant go wrong with The Helix Loaded!

Let me just say that I liked Helix. I really did. For a low-budget spoof, it came across incredibly well. The special effects were very high caliber at times, the performance of the actors was believable, and the writing was good.

However, this isn't a movie I could recommend to plop down the 9 bucks I did to see it. It's good, in an "insomniac-can't-sleep-turn-on-the-TV" kind of way. An enjoyable movie that should be a stable in any spoof lovers video collection.

Why not a big screen caliber performance? Well, it dragged at times. While most of the jokes were funny, very few made me laugh hysterically (i.e. Jim Carry or Dave Chappelle). The scenery and props were passable and created a quasi-believable backdrop for the story, but everything seemed a bit too grungy at times and the lack of high quality video gave the movie an aged cheap look (maybe that was the point).