Dark Town

oh my.. this movie is not worth your time. its not even cheesy to the point of being funny. it was a waste of a video rental in my opinion. the lesbians were pretty cute, and the over done "urban black youths" were funny.."yoz fool..we gots to get up outta here and kill us some foolz!" i definitely would not recommend this movie to anyone...it makes no sense, the acting is absolutely terrible..and the vampire makeup is very 2nd grade halloween party-ish..ugh... i'm a very big horror fan and this really disappointed me..and now for my seven year old sisters review " amber..i thought this was supposed to be scary..its just a bunch of flashes and ulgy girls with fangs and blood..can we watch something else..?"

Okay, this isn't the greatest vampire film ever made, but it does have something. Though the early part of the story seemed very unfocused, it did draw all the strings together to create a film that was satisfying, one whose characters did interest me. What I found most refreshing was that the people were people I could relate to--a middle class family and kids who loiter on street corners. The story wasn't typically clichéd, leaving me waiting eagerly to see what happened next. I also liked how free will and self-control emerge as the film's message. I'd almost suspect that this film inspired the new television Moonlight series.

'Dark Town' rides that dangerous line between worlds. Almost a fun gore flick and almost a cheap piece of crap. How much you enjoy it depends on how demanding a viewer you are.

A group of gangsters get caught up in a vampire out break when they attempt to rob a suburban home. It seems the father of the house has (for reasons barely explained) contracted vampirism and has decided to infect his family. Much blood letting ensues.

First the good: as already stated there is oodles of blood spilt. All kinds of vampire biting, feasting (almost like a zombie movie really) and other assorted human dismemberment are on display. Hearts are torn out, heads are lopped off, people are stabbed, shot, one woman even takes a broken bottle are carves up her bare chest. Which brings up the films other saving grace; an abundance of bared flesh. I am actually surprised the film got away with an R-rating. In summation, the film is watchable thanks to much fan service.

Now the bad: it is extremely low budget and not very well made. The locations and lighting either look bad or don't match. The script starts nowhere and ends nowhere, the acting is more like un-acting, and the director shows only limited flare for unique techniques. In short, it's technically defunct.

Gore hounds will be able to enjoy themselves, but expecting quality or uniqueness will only leave you disappointed.

5/10

What do you get when you throw in "Leprechaun in da hood" minus the leprechaun and mixing in vampires that are pretty fang-less, and adding a pinch of lesbians for no good reason other than to have lesbians in the mix (I'll bet dollars to donuts that the producers dictated that they be in there somewhere)? Well i'll tell you what you get. Pure unadulterated crap. Not even good crap, the kind you could enjoy if properly inebriated. But the kind of filth that is just hard to watch on account of the overly melodramatic acting, loopy stunted dialog, and illogical storyline. Notice how I didn't particularly go into the plot line of this putrid number. There's a reason for that, this being that I'd rather not think back on this wasted hour and a half that I will NEVER get back from my life no matter how hard I try. And the sad thing is that there actually are worse movies dealing with vampires out there. And that, my friend, is a sad state of affairs indeed.

Where I Saw it: Starz on Demand

Eye Candy: Janet Martin, Claire Mills, Ariana Fronti, and Meghan Stansfield all get topless

My Grade: F

A callous slumlord brings a vampiric infection home to his dysfunctional suburban family on the same night that some of his tenants show up to teach him a lesson. Much bloodshed ensues. When someone asks me to a recommend a genuinely entertaining low budget, straight-to-video gore fest, this is one of the few that gets the nod. Director Desi Scarpone and writer David Birke manage to deliver some genuine humor and chills in this film. It is energetic, nervy, and often gratuitous – in both gore and nudity. The father is a fun character who revels in his corruption and evil. He's one of the few memorable characters I've seen in a recent DV horror film. Is this film for all tastes? No. Is it a shining example of film-making? No. Is it always coherent? No. But let's face it, if you're reading this review, you must already be a fan of bad horror films. You could certainly do worse than this.