Santa's Slay

I was confused when I saw this movie. Santa (Bill Goldberg) is the son-of-Satan and is out to scare children after a thousand years of imprisonment. he is killing for no other reason then to kill. Standing in his way is the man who imprisoned him to serve the children, Grandpa (Robert Culp) and his grandson Nicholas (Douglas Smith).

For some odd reason, Santa finds the oddest way of killing people: lighting people on fire with coal, choking them with a wreath, or just running them over with his reindeer. For two hours or so we watch two stupid teenagers run around and hide, finally leading to a rocket launcher blowing up a reindeer.

In the end I was just like WTF. I was confused, lost, and a little humored by the movie. The fight scenes with Goldberg are pretty cool and sometimes he does act well. In the end, the film doesn't make any sense, it's stupid, but it's pretty funny when you don't care what you're watching. Seeing Goldberg actually try to act is hilarious but some of his lines did make me laugh and in the end did give a convincing performance. The best was the giant reindeer. that pulled his sled.

If you watch it, don't expect a masterpiece, actually don't expect much at all. Just watch it for the action, not the story.

Santa's Slay. Starring: Robert Culp, bill Goldberg, Douglas Smith, and Emilie de Ravin.

2 1/2 out of 5 Stars.

I had my doubts when my friend and I first rented this film. However, it definitely pulled through. The fact that they actually came up with a plot to justify Santa killing everyone in the town for no reason is just icing on the cake. Goldberg's performance suffices as the role of Santa the homicidal maniac. Then again, I think anybody could have played any role in this movie and it wouldn't have made a difference. With the nonstop action this movie will definitely keep you interested. You probably won't be sure why you are interested, but you will be. Also, most of the killings are pretty inventive. I would have just preferred some more one liners from Goldberg after he slays his victims. As with any movie starring Bill Goldberg, this one is a keeper. Do yourself a favor and invite a bunch of friends over and prepared to be amazed.

A movie never meant to be taken seriously, but oh so enjoyable if you've a mind to. I mean, come on, GOLDBERG is SANTA!!! I f you're looking for a friendly, family-oriented Christmas movie, do NOT watch this. A carnage filled Christmas delight, though mostly oriented towards the "guy" movie type. Goldberg has some great one liners and I have to say that I look forward to seeing him in other films because of this one. An actor or a film that doesn't take itself too seriously is what we need more of these days. People take themselves too seriously. And apparently this is too short to post. Death. Mayhem. Santa. Satan's offspring.

Twenty years later, this movie falls flat. A big part of that is that David Harbour played Santa (in Violent Night) with a lot more charisma. This looked like an indie film, but was missing the heart. A big problem with wrestlers in non wrestling movies is that they bring the ring presence. However, in "the real world", that doesn't translate. Santa powerbombing someone seems like a lot of work for little return. This is one and done for me.

The plot had moments, but, they weren't tied together - more like someone wrote a line, and said, Hey, that's good!, and that's where it ended. Special effects were not "special", so, they weren't engaging. If anything, this COULD be remade with 1. Better production values 2. Better script and 3. Better acting. Sometimes, trying isn't enough.

One of the greatest Christmas movies EVER! Up there with Scrooged and Die Hard. I rented this film with my buddies on a lark. We were expecting to laugh at how bad it was but we were amazed to find that we were actually laughing at all the right parts. Actually we were laughing the entire way through. We kept having to ask each other what that last line of dialog was because we missed it. Great gags, some fantastic cameos, and a Jewish wrestler playing Santa Claus.

I'd only hold two things against it, those being: (1) the lead actor (Douglas Smith) - he was a little weak and (2)the CG could've benefited from some more expense. Otherwise this is a brilliant film. Santa's Slay is the first film to honor the truly great sport of curling. A flying bison, Goldberg, strippers, and Caulk jokes. Plus swearing children and swearing old ladies. A new holiday tradition.