Dark Heaven

i bought this for 5.50 at wal-mart, because, as stated by other users, the box art caught my eye. The box cover is about the only good part. I dunno if it was because i was tired, or because we had to have the volume at level 100 (what the hell is wrong with the audio on this DVD) to understand it a little, but this movie was kinda lame. That angel monster fight scene was real bad. It just had lots of weird camera shots that were artsy.

So it seemed like the director/writers were like "lets film a bunch of scenes of a cop walking around looking dumb holding a shotgun and call it a movie>"

...and then the movie ended. I saw nothing in this movie that would have any value. I didn't find some deep meaning that made being bored worthwhile, it wasn't nice to look at (it looked really horrible, actually), it wasn't exciting... Maybe some people could find something in there. But I found nothing that justified me wasting my time and money. I thought House of the Dead was the worst movie I'd ever seen, but at least that had some of my attention with the violence and nudity. The best of that they've got in here is some red paint smeared around and an out-of-shape naked guy. I'm not saying I was watching for that. I can forgive either a bad but entertaining movie, or a good but slow movie. Not both of the bad sides in one. I was interested in the angels but they look like plastic statues and they squirt milk when you stab them. I only kept watching because I thought SOMETHING must happen but it was just a predictable ending. I didn't feel anything at the end because the main character said and did the most stupid things. I understand the whole faith thing but it doesn't seem like it was done well. I'm just an average viewer, and this movie was boring and meaningless to me.

I have waited for a new horror offering from Douglas Schulze for a long time. He made this creepy little gem called Hellmaster way back in 1992 and after that seemed to drop from the face of film-making. So finally, in 2004 I pick up this movie at my local video store with intriguing box art (which is usually deceiving) and low and behold Douglas Schulze is credited as writer/director. I'm amazed and perplexed how this one escaped my knowledge so I have to rent it. However, I am less than pleased with the results. At the beginning I was very pleased. Dark Heaven started out great. It was amazingly quiet and visually impressive. It was so just so stylish and very much like Silent Hill. Creepy in other words. But the film falls apart about halfway through with its lack of logic. I understand that Schulze was probably going for a dreamlike quality based on the ending of the film, but everything seemed to flow up until the middle. So it was almost good. From listening to the director's commentary I found out Dark Heaven was in production for something like four or more years and I believe that's where the film suffered. It seemed like they just shot a piece here and there whenever their people were available. Maybe that's why it ceased to flow. Schulze obviously has the ability to direct a creepfest, now if only he could get proper funding and a proper schedule. I wouldn't overlook this film completely because it does has some genuinely eerie moments and a solid cast.

I realize people have different taste and different opinions on many subjects, but to actually find more than two people who liked this film (if you can call it that)and would admit to it by writing a positive review is disheartening to say the least.

I picked up this film solely on the recommendation of a co-worker Starky. She told me how wonderful and creepy this movie was and I took a chance. After watching the movie a good year or so ago, I'd rather be stuck watching all 13 episodes of Cop Rock. Nothing and let me underline NOTHING in this movie made sense. I don't know if they were trying to follow the style of Jacob's Ladder with dream sequences or what, but it didn't work. The costumes were horrible and I swear it looked like these Angels had plastic swords and I remember some deal with a floating balloon, that again, MADE NO SENSE!

I've read how some people picked this movie up solely based on the cover art of the DVD box, which at first I found ridiculous, but ever since I picked up the movie Rest Stop, I can no longer laugh. I picked up that movie based on the cover on the box and thinking I had missed a good horror movie at the theater that finally made it to DVD. How wrong I was on that one also. Both movies are bad, the writing is terrible, the acting is terrible, the character's actions make no sense and you just sit her wondering how they get any money at all to make this kind of crap!

I just rented Dark Heaven at Blockbuster and boy was it a waste. After seeing the cover, I thought it was an erotic drama but discovered it was a religious horror film with no horror. Bland and sad, there's no reason to watch it. You could always go play DIABLO or put on your goth makeup. The films plot is a about a man stuck between heaven and heck. My mom still doesn't allow me to say the H-word and she's in the room so bear with me. Anyways, we learn more about the man in flashback but we get hardly any people talking. What's the deal? The film is slow, slow, slow.........slow. Completely depressing from beginning to end. The sets look nice, however. The film would have been great if the director, Doug Schultze, had been able to come up with an interesting premise. He could have either done that or got Triple H to star in it. Triple H is AWESOME!!!! I'd get somebody to loan you this movie if you really want to see it. Now I've got to go, my wrestling show is on. Safety!