- Cuthbert Gibbons: From now on, Tozzi here is gonna be your new best friend.
- Freshy: But none of my friends look like him.
- Freshy: I'll do anything.
- Gibbons: Okay, let me tell you...
- Freshy: I don't care, I'll do it.
- Mike Tozzi: Shut up so he can tell you.
- Freshy: He doesn't have to tell me. Whatever it is, I'll do it.
- Gibbons and Tozzi: Shut up!
- Stanley: You sleep with them?
- Freshy: With who?
- Stanley: The actresses.
- Freshy: The actresses? Of course not. It's strictly a business relationship.
- Stanley: You can't even get laid by porn actresses? That makes me sad. I don't even like you and that makes me sad.
- Stanley: (to Tozzi) Hey, where do you think you're going?
- Mike: To the john.
- Stanley: Parking lot.
- Mike: This is strictly a sit down operation.
- Mike: If I find out you're lying I'm gonna cut you loose.
- Freshy: I'm not lying. And you wouldn't cut me loose, Mike.
- Mike: Oh yeah? What makes you so sure.
- Freshy: Because you have a hard on for my sister.
- Mike: Do you have something I can munch on?
- Gina: You have a sick mind.
- Mike: I'm talking about food!
- Mike: I'm a humanitarion.
- Gina: Oh, yeah. Saint Viagra.
- Gina: I'd pay a million bucks to live in Jersey.
- Mike: Yeah, well, I'd pay a million bucks to get out of it right now.
- Gibbons: He's banging her. He's undercover and he's banging her!
- Butters: You know, your partner has some trouble with intimacy. I didn't even hear him say goodbye when he left. Gina regretted giving into him so quickly.
- Gibbons: Thank you, Dr. Ruth.
- Gibbons: (to Mike) You don't get enough chances in real life to be an asshole, you have to be one on the job, too?
- Gibbons: Where'd you buy this shit, Radio Shack?
- Butters: Yeah, some of it.
- Butters: (after Gibbon snaps at him) He forgets his perscription and it's MY fault?
- [Stanley is checking out a maniquinn in a department store]
- Bells: Stanley, it's wood.
- Stanley: She's got a nice face.
- Gina: Yeah.
- Mike: Yeah, what?
- Gina: I get a discount. Does that make you hot?
- Gibbons: Call for back up!
- Butters: Oh, yeah. Wait until there's screaming before you call for back up.
- Bells: Listen to the mouth on this one, Mikey. And they call her brother Freshy.
- Stanley: Can't you figure out how to use this stuff?
- Gibbons: Yeah, if you hadn't of thrown the guy who knows how to work it off at fifth avenue.
- Mike: I wanna try something.
- Gina: We're in chains, isn't that kinky enough for you?
- Mike: Gibbs, you're alive.
- Gibbons: That explains the overwhelming joy I feel right now.
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