Dear Pillow

What happens when a confused teenager starts hanging out with a veteran pornographer? Well, suffice to say that every conversation they have revolves around sex. But what is sex in the end? Is it the required intercourse to get the female partner pregnant or is it something far more complex and symbolic? Michele Foucault wrote on his Histoire de la Sexualité that there are two clearly differentiated sexual stages. The first one is, of course, sexual intercourse; but the second one applies only for humans, and that is masturbation; masturbation inspired, or spiced, by fantasy.

In the Victorian age, as Foucault so aptly explains, sex was a concern, and masturbation was deemed as an illness, an unnecessary expenditure of vital forces. But what was even more distressing is that it was fueled by fantasy, and masturbatory fantasies, of course, would not bode well against the rigid moral codes of society.

Is masturbation no longer a taboo? Wes probably wouldn't think so, as he gets fired for jerking off during work hours. The teenage boy feels absolutely ashamed when his father finds out about this incident. Now, with more free time Wes decides to accept Dusty's invitation to have a few beers.

When Wes partakes in Dusty's hobbies, he understands some of the inner works that make the pornography industry thrive. Ultimately it all boils down to one thing: fantasy. In the same way that Wes's father finds bondage an arousing practice, Wes is unable to achieve self-satisfaction without borrowing his father's adult magazines. Dusty will explain it to him better, coining the term possession; Dusty literally says in one scene "possession of the image of the ass".

The possession of the image and nothing else. Because the human mind needs fantasy, even if there is another human being in front… What Lacan calls the phantasm is also expressed in the obsessive search of Wes's father: his vast collection of pornography has but one trait in common… the porn actresses share some resemblance with Wes's mother. The phantasmatic image is there to fill a void, a lacking that can never be truly replaced. And that also explains why the father has had no sex in over two years.

Wes is tired of being a virgin, and his horniness translates into highly erotic stories he writes and shares with Dusty. The boy wonders if he might be able to get into the adult magazines industry; and Dusty advices him to have sex first so that he can write more authentically. Of course, Dusty is homosexual, and Wes, having some homoerotic encounters with a friend his age, cannot be sure what is it that Dusty wants from him. When Wes talks to Vera, a specialist in "sex phone" (again another sort of fantasy that reinforces masturbation) he admits that anal sex turns him on. Perhaps dusty crosses the boundaries when he asks Wes and Vera to star in a home-made porn video. But ultimately, it is a necessary requirement, after all, what can be more masturbatory than that?

...and I'm not just saying that because I'm the writer/director's sister. Given the subject matter, I was actually pretty nervous about seeing the movie for the first time; it's about a 17-year-old boy who's interested in writing about porn. I didn't know what to expect, but it turned out to be both a relief, and yet more intense than I had anticipated.

Wes (Rusty Kelley) is living with his divorced Dad (Cory Criswell) and working as a bag-boy at a local grocery store. He's a bit of a loner, and his main activities are listening to phone calls on a police scanner, and griping about still being a virgin in letters to a friend. He eventually meets up with an older man, Dusty (Gary Chason), who, he discovers, makes his living by writing fake letters for an adult magazine.

Like any hormone-driven teenager, Wes' interest is piqued, and he and Dusty form a strange mentor-like friendship, based on porn. When Wes tells Dusty about the police scanner and the obscene phone calls he's been overhearing on it, Dusty is determined to find out who's making them. And so into the picture comes Lorna, the apartment manager, whose assertive sexuality adds a new dimension to the relationship developing between the three.

While the fact that the movie is about porn -- and its dark humor -- have both been draws for audiences, it never takes the easy way out with cheap laughs or convenient answers. The film doesn't preach its own morality. Viewers can read into it what they will -- find their own lessons or message, without having it painted out for them.

Definitely keep an eye out for this film. I'm sure you'll be seeing more from the team who made it.

Well written and original screenplay about a gay pornographer (Gary Chason) who becomes a friend and mentor to a teenager who wants to become a Porn writer (Rusty Kelly) A strange non sexual, male bonding movie. Vivian Vives the hot apartment complex manager who makes sex calls is great. She plays the character with no apologies or guilt for her sexuality.

I watched this film, along with a very appreciative audience, at the Edinburgh Film Festival, and loved it, not only because it dares to examine our relationship to pornography and our own sexuality, but because it does it so well, with subtlety, respect for its characters, and a refusal to use obvious plot devices and clichés. It's no mean trick to make a funny and touching film with such potentially 'dark' subject matter. This film was a pleasant surprise!

BTW, I disagree with whoever felt that the characters were way too 'impoverished,' implying that only marginalized, blue-collar losers used porn. The film didn't treat its characters as marginalized at all, but besides, what's so terribly impoverished about living in a fairly average apartment complex?

What I really liked about Dear Pillow is Bryan's sincere look at the dirty, perverse aspect of it that we like to hide underneath our beds. Where do we draw the line between the sensual and the perverse? Is there a point at which we've become far too enthralled with the process of pornography itself and not so much with sexuality? I really think Bryan's film is especially important currently, due to all the sexual outlets currently available. Like a voyeur, Dear Pillow peeps into that seedy world we'd all just as soon leave in the closet or under the mattress.

Dear Pillow also features Bryan's shorts, Grammy's and Pleasureland.