Péril en altitude

"Sub Zero" is very entertaining. It's a silly spin on "Cliffhanger". The plot is about six climbers who have to deactivate a bomb on a mountain. The bomb looks like a Rubik's cube. If it goes off it will destroy the world.

You don't watch a Jim Wynorski movie (the alias this time is Jay Andrews) and expect a masterpiece.

The acting is above-average for this type of film, the performances that stand out are Linden Ashby and Nia Peeples. The cast looks like they are having fun with the script. The special effects aren't the greatest, but who cares.

In the end: If you want to laugh and be on the edge of your seat, you can't go wrong with "Sub Zero".

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This is worth seeing, if only to provide a floor for rating all other movies. Worst of all time? Probably not. laughingly, shockingly horrible? Definitely. I was embarrassed for the actors in the movie, who must have been randomly recruited from a Greyhound terminal. I was also embarrassed for the movie Vertical Limit, which, though it is also a terrible movie in it's own right, actually made an effort, and has some entertainment value including a couple of Point Break-esquire one-liners. Sub Zero lifted almost all of it's action sequences and mountain scenes from Vertical Limit. When I say lifted, I don't mean they borrowed ideas, but rather cut-and-pasted footage. Another person wrote that one scene looked like an SNL skit, and I agree. Sub Zero is so pathetic, it is almost entertaining. But not quite.

An unashamed Z-grade mountaineering flick, directed by a man (Jim Wynorski, hiding under a pseudonym) better known for making trashy T 'n' A movies and with a storyline that's more than happy to rip off VERTICAL LIMIT. If you like watching overly familiar, silly movies loaded with stock footage, awful plotting and some outrageously poor effects, you've come to the right place.

Things begin with a supposedly dramatic sequence set atop a sheer cliff. It soon turns out that this is a direct rip-off of CLIFFHANGER's famous opening scene. From here on in, we get a silly, half-baked storyline involving a futuristic satellite weapon that looks like nothing more than a cheap Rubik's cube. There are some outer space shots that look awfully familiar to the ones in UNDER SIEGE 2, and a squad of Russian terrorists whose tendency toward self-destruction makes them some of the dumbest ever shown on screen.

Eventually, the plot gets around to sending a bunch of would-be heroics up an impassable mountain in Tibet in a race against time (yawn). No surprises that there are some more dastardly betrayals, some dodgy Russians and a token black guy whose only purpose is to get bumped off ASAP. The high-rise heroics make use of plenty of sub-par CGI and characters don't bat an eyelid when long-time friends are decimated by stock-footage avalanches.

Of the cast, lead Costas Mandylor is the most familiar from his appearances in seemingly dozens of SAW sequels. He's supported by Linden Ashby (who was a one-time action hero in the likes of MORTAL KOMBAT, although his acting hasn't improved since then), and the pretty but vacuous Nia Peeples. Aside from some low-rent machine-gun action, there's not much going on here, leaving this a Z-movie to be endured rather than enjoyed. Still, there's far worse out there even if this is below average by genre standards, although that's not a recommendation.

The picture of a climber on the DVD box is what made me rent the movie. I was expecting something no worse than Cliff Hanger or Vertical Limits (both of which were ludicrous). But I knew within the first 2 minutes that this was oh-so-much-worse... The special effects are bad, the acting is bad, the script is pathetic, and the climbing... beyond laughable. Another reviewer already commented on the "crawling along the snow", the missing crampons in the crevasse, and the poor ice axe technique of the "climbers".

I'll add to that: 1) the fact that the climbers go from D.C. to K2 base camp at about 20,000ft with no acclimatization (close to instant death...); 2) they carry big, heavy non-expedition tents to Camp 1; 3) there are tire tracks all around Camp 1 (!!!); 4) they never rope up properly, and walk too close together; 5) it's windy outside, but quiet and calm inside the tent (no wind); 6) they carry Coleman gas lanterns to Camp 1 and no one has a headlamp (what real climbers use); 7) their packs and equipment are all new, and yet, all these climbers are "the world's best" with loads of experience; 8) they're not dressed like climbers (furry hood); 9) they keep referring to the fact that it's suicide to climb K2 "in this season" (winter?), yet, it's mostly sunny and apparently not very cold on the mountain (no visible "breath").

And no one - I don't care how good they are - would ever sign up to reach 23,000ft on the north face of K2, within 72 hours of sitting in an office in Washington, D.C. Not even for large sums of money.

If you're going to write a movie about climbing, wouldn't you learn SOMETHING about the sport first?

For good climbing movies, Everest (IMAX) by David Brashears, and Touching the Void (the Joe Simpson story) --- much, much, much better, even without the fake Russians and glowing Rubik's cubes...

Hard to imagine why a group of people would assemble to produce this. I just watched it on Pay Per View. I was in the mood for a "thriller", and the most skilled artisan involved in this production was the one who made the trailer look like it referenced a passable film. I do occasionally like to watch "rubbish" films, like the random Airline disaster... The ones where someone with the fear of flying lands the airplane with one wing, no wheels and after all the crew die after all drinking coffee spiked by a scorned lover, while callous Corporate overlords cover up the shoddy maintenance schedule of the aircraft.

But... not this...

Another commenter points out all the flaws relating to mountain climbing. The science is just as daft, the technology even worse and the political scenario's take the biscuit... So the UN sanction the creation of a doomsday satellite network, all controlled by one 4 inch remote control device thats guarded by, maybe 3 guys...

I may have seen a worse movie in my life... But I cant think of one, right now.