Péril en altitude

Hard to imagine why a group of people would assemble to produce this. I just watched it on Pay Per View. I was in the mood for a "thriller", and the most skilled artisan involved in this production was the one who made the trailer look like it referenced a passable film. I do occasionally like to watch "rubbish" films, like the random Airline disaster... The ones where someone with the fear of flying lands the airplane with one wing, no wheels and after all the crew die after all drinking coffee spiked by a scorned lover, while callous Corporate overlords cover up the shoddy maintenance schedule of the aircraft.

But... not this...

Another commenter points out all the flaws relating to mountain climbing. The science is just as daft, the technology even worse and the political scenario's take the biscuit... So the UN sanction the creation of a doomsday satellite network, all controlled by one 4 inch remote control device thats guarded by, maybe 3 guys...

I may have seen a worse movie in my life... But I cant think of one, right now.

The picture of a climber on the DVD box is what made me rent the movie. I was expecting something no worse than Cliff Hanger or Vertical Limits (both of which were ludicrous). But I knew within the first 2 minutes that this was oh-so-much-worse... The special effects are bad, the acting is bad, the script is pathetic, and the climbing... beyond laughable. Another reviewer already commented on the "crawling along the snow", the missing crampons in the crevasse, and the poor ice axe technique of the "climbers".

I'll add to that: 1) the fact that the climbers go from D.C. to K2 base camp at about 20,000ft with no acclimatization (close to instant death...); 2) they carry big, heavy non-expedition tents to Camp 1; 3) there are tire tracks all around Camp 1 (!!!); 4) they never rope up properly, and walk too close together; 5) it's windy outside, but quiet and calm inside the tent (no wind); 6) they carry Coleman gas lanterns to Camp 1 and no one has a headlamp (what real climbers use); 7) their packs and equipment are all new, and yet, all these climbers are "the world's best" with loads of experience; 8) they're not dressed like climbers (furry hood); 9) they keep referring to the fact that it's suicide to climb K2 "in this season" (winter?), yet, it's mostly sunny and apparently not very cold on the mountain (no visible "breath").

And no one - I don't care how good they are - would ever sign up to reach 23,000ft on the north face of K2, within 72 hours of sitting in an office in Washington, D.C. Not even for large sums of money.

If you're going to write a movie about climbing, wouldn't you learn SOMETHING about the sport first?

For good climbing movies, Everest (IMAX) by David Brashears, and Touching the Void (the Joe Simpson story) --- much, much, much better, even without the fake Russians and glowing Rubik's cubes...

This film is a waste of digital imagery! Imagine, the hero ventures up K2 in a K-Mart parka with a fur edged hood no less. In one scene one "climber" (I say that oh so tongue in cheek) belays another by just standing there (he is tied onto the rope though)while his buddy holds a hundred feet or so of loosely coiled rope in his hands between the "belay" and the prospective climber.

Oh man, this flick is sooooo bad, I almost wept. Oh, the aforementioned climber falls down a crevasse, is hanging there wearing his crampons, then is hauled out without them. I mean, these things are strapped to your ankles so you can't loose them. The ice axe technique and cramponning (no front pointing at all) is pathetic, and crawling up, no, along snow slopes reminded me of a drunk in the gutter finding his way home. Speaking of axe technique, when a guy fell down a slope, instead of using the appropriate technique of rolling over and gently applying the point as a brake by applying ones weight, he lies on his back flailing helplessly at the snow. If that axe had gripped, it would have ripped his arm off.

All those really great mountaineers now sadly perished, will be rolling over in their graves (if lucky enough to have one).

'Nuff said, this film should be burnt! It's a disgrace!

I direct you to the plethora of reviews that point out the hilarity of the script, plot lines, acting, and stunts, the absolute impossibility of the political implications, horrible technicals in climbing (gear clothing, physical fitness, NO Sherpas, the EMP, ad infinitum) ALL add up to a totally ridiculous jaunt up a mountain chasing a glow in the dark Rubik's cube upon which the fate of the world rests.

All that being said NUMEROUS times, there is some magnificent footage of the mountains, avalanches, breathtaking, sweeping vistas that will either excite you, kick your death wish sporting sense into overdrive, make you wonder how on God's 3rd rock from the sun ANYONE considers mountaineering FUN BUT will across the board make you feel small and leave you awe struck.

If you go into this with a coupla joints, a bucket of salty buttery popcorn, a Big Gulp and absolutely nothing else to do on a cold rainy day you will not feel like you've been robbed of 90 minutes of your life -- It is what it is - a piece of straight to DVD B grade fluff made to entertain, not educate you on WMDs, mountain climbing, global political relations, or American clichés (and there are 85 minutes of clichés) - if you are looking for American Oscar worthy films, BAFTA contenders or even Golden Globe potential -- MOVE ON. if you like a train wreck of a film that will, if nothing else, entertain you - it's worth a watch... and ladies, you gotta admit the guys are HOT.....

"Sub Zero" is very entertaining. It's a silly spin on "Cliffhanger". The plot is about six climbers who have to deactivate a bomb on a mountain. The bomb looks like a Rubik's cube. If it goes off it will destroy the world.

You don't watch a Jim Wynorski movie (the alias this time is Jay Andrews) and expect a masterpiece.

The acting is above-average for this type of film, the performances that stand out are Linden Ashby and Nia Peeples. The cast looks like they are having fun with the script. The special effects aren't the greatest, but who cares.

In the end: If you want to laugh and be on the edge of your seat, you can't go wrong with "Sub Zero".

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