Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

I first heard of this film courtesy of comedian Patton Oswalt who mentions it in one of his hilarious comedy albums. First off let me say that I consider myself a bad movie connoisseur having sat through my fair share and being a huge fan of things like Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Cinematic Titanic that showcase and make fun of bad movies...

So I ordered Death Bed on Netflix. I have to say the movie is almost exactly like I suspected it would be. I had a hunch, this being a 70s movie, that there would be some nudity and indeed most of the women in the film are naked at one time or another. The movie is slow, tedious and weird but it delivers EXACTLY what the title says, a bed that eats.

The bed does eat. It eats a wide array of things, not just people. This is the sort of "SO BAD IT'S GOOD" cult classic that comes around once in a lifetime. Much like the equally so bad its awesome Manos: The Hands of Fate except this one makes a little more sense and does deliver some decent gore...

All in all I can't say that I'm disappointed, though the movie was by no means good... I'm having trouble rating it out of 10, it's just too darn weird to give a numeric rating to. I recommend it to anyone who wants to see a 100% unique movie. They don't make em like this anymore... in fact they NEVER did.

It's really rather Simple. The Name of the Movie Is Death Bed, The Bed that Eats. If you are anything like me, You already know if you are going to like this movie. I stumbled across this gem at Best Buy the other day and picked it up for Ten Bucks. I got ten bucks worth of enjoyment out of the title, and the box alone.

I'm a huge fan of B movies. This is in my opinion one of the greatest B movies i've ever seen. Now, it's not for every one.

Granted, it's not even for most people. As a matter of fact, i suspect their are only going to be a handful of us who truly enjoy this movie.

For those of you who like B movies though, this film is a Diamond in the rough. It has a great premise, A bed... That eat's people. It doesn't walk, it doesn't move, it doesn't have a siren call to attract people. It pretty much relies on people wandering by and sitting on it.

I loved every inch of this movie and have already seen it three times in the scant weeks i've owned it.

Like I said, After reading the title of the film, You already know if you'll like it. If you laughed or smiled, Then give it a go. it's worth it.

The premise- a demon falls in love with a maiden and assumes human form in order to make love to her. She dies as a result of this preternatural union, and the mournful demon cries tears of blood upon their carnal bed. The blood is absorbed, bestowing the bed with a predatory animate existence. Nestled within a ramshackle guesthouse, it lies in wait through the ages...a bloodthirsty canopy bed which consumes anyone unfortunate enough to rest upon it. A strange concept for a horror film, indeed, but the presentation is far, far stranger...

This no-budget oddity was composed with a very peculiar artistic finesse...not so much pretentious as self-consciously esoteric, it merges trash cinema sleaze with flourishes of oneiric surrealism(it's largely narrated by the spirit of 19th-century nouveau illustrator Aubrey Beardsley, helplessly imprisoned within a painting on a wall opposite the killer bed). This eccentric admixture doesn't really gel perfectly, but that is certainly not to imply that DEATH BED is a bad film, just that it's very bizarre and obvious of its restrictive budget...I personally consider it one of the most original and inventive amateur horror projects I have ever seen.

Opinions about this one will be all over the board, but there's no denying that DEATH BED is unique. I recommend it strongly to all fans of outré cinema. 7/10.

Exactly what one would expect from a title like that, 'Death Bed: The Bed That Eats' focuses on a possessed bed at an outskirts cottage that dissolves and eventually consumes anyone unfortunate enough to sit or lie on it for extended periods. Considering the noticeably low budget, the special effects are surprisingly decent and the film comes with the odd artistic touch or two, such as a great shot of one victim's dripping blood extinguishing a candle beside the bed. The film also features a lot of uncanny elements throughout, not all of which necessarily gel well. More bizarre than anything the evil bed does (or anything its victims do to futilely stop themselves being eaten) is the poetic voice-over narration throughout, delivered by one of the bed's victims, trapped behind a painting in the room. His eloquent narration is not necessarily a detractor, but it is certainly very, very weird in a possessed inanimate object movie like this. The film's most significant drawback is the acting with the precredits couple in particular offering amateurish turns. If one can get over the second rate acting, strange voice-over narration and such oddities as the bed being spliced into old newsreel footage (!), this is an undeniably unique horror film, and one that - at the very least - manages to makes its possessed object seem sinister without the need to talk or move.

It was a particular killer podcast (wink wink nod nod) that brought my attention to the George Barry 1977 lost horror film, Death Bed: The Bed That Eats. I had never heard of the film previous and any mention in conversation over beds that cause death, I would immediately recall Johnny Depp's fate in A Nightmare on Elm Street.

My curiosity was peaked with the premise. It sounded as ridiculous as Rubber (2010) possibly as outlandish as El Topo (1970), so it was a quick and easy purchase as I turned to Amazon to add to my collection.

Death Bed is simply that. The plot surrounds a bed that eats. Our interest is mainly in the humans to which it consumes, but apples, bottles of wine and even a Pepto Bismol container are all part of the bed's diet throughout the 77-minute running time. It eats through an acidic sudsy substance that overtakes objects laid upon it's mattress.

The bed is fittingly located in a remote area of the countryside and we learn of its history and its thoughts (?) through the narration of a spirit that is imprisoned within a painting kept in the same room as the killer furniture piece.

Mostly, the bed feasts upon travelers, and more specifically during the mid-chapters, on three vacationing women searching for a bed for the night.

We could not ascertain whether writer/director/producer George Barry was looking to make a serious film or if he instead had designs on cinematic glory. But considering the film's overall tones and serious approach to the ridiculous premise, we would suggest the intention was sincere. And with adult moments that included various scenes incorporating female nudity, our case is that much furthered.

Our appreciation for Death Bed: The Bed That Eats might be more of a surprise than the film's plot points. We appreciated the movie for what it attempted and we enjoyed the crunching and munching Mr. King Size did on his adventures. Screened in 2013, we could hardly take it seriously. But it was with a satiric eye opened that we were kept entertained and we understood the cult epic that was unfolding in line with Eraserhead and Pink Flamingos.

Yes, even at under 80-minutes the idea runs its course and outstays its welcome. And yes, there were holes larger than pillowcases that brought out the WTF in us while screening.

Still, the title of the film doesn't hide what George Barry was trying to create. Our world might not be better having watched it, but we are glad we now have a new conversation piece at parties that is designed to garner attention.

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