The Janitor

Poor Lionel is tried of taking crap from the workers in the building that employs his Custodial services, so he goes on a rampage mutilating anyone who looks at him the wrong way. Mr. Growboi s a fellow janitor who looks to Lional as a son and helps him cover his bloody tracks. However Mr. Growbo isn't someone you should spurn. With horror comedies, they either work or they suck. No middle ground here. Fortunately this one works, coming off as a moderately well acted version of a Troma film (Lloyd Kaufman even has a cameo). It's gory, has gratuitous toplessness, and is frequently quite fun. The character of Lional kinda reminded me of a cross between Peter Jackson circa "Bad Taste" and Orville Ketchum from "Hard to Die" and "Sorority House Massacre 2". My hats off to Andy Signore, TJ Nordaker, and everyone else involved in the production. You guys know how to bring a tear to the eye of a drunken jaded exploitative horror fan.

Eye Candy: Rachael Ann Bennett, Crystal LeBard, Stephanie Medina, and Tusdi Rodriguez get topless

My Grade: B

DVD Extras: Commentary by Andy Signore, John Carreon, and TJ Nordaker; a 58 minute Making of; "th Office is Closed" short film; Lackadaisical Music video; Photo gallery; Deleted scenes; and the trailer

2 Easter Egg: Bruce Cronander improvising & missing his cue; more nudity set to music

The movie-industry has been due for a good slasher film for a long time. It seems the contemporary film industry has led the horror genre to fall into two clearly distinct categories: the M. Night recipe of infinite plot twists that confound the viewer and ultimately leave him unsatisfied, or the psychological horror tripe in which the climax is the protagonist awaking to realize that the entire ordeal was all a dream. These shortcomings are compounded by a level of seriousness that rivals Pentagon Briefings, which leaves the viewer mumbling "Bueller? Bueller?" in a vain attempt to make sense of where the last two hours of his life went.

"The Janitor" shines because it isn't meant to be taken seriously. Nor is the viewer expected to see it as a dramatic, break-through work that rattles the conventions of society while leaving the viewer with a single tear-trail on an ashen cheek. With so many first-time filmmakers attempting to take Cannes by storm with this cookie-cutter film making style, it would almost be prudent to call the thought process of first-time directors Signore and Nordaker groundbreaking. It follows: Slasher fans like violence. Slasher fans like dark comedy. Slasher fans like beautiful naked women. Let's make a film with violence, dark comedy, and nude hot chicks that would make my great-grandfather pop a boner.

And they have done just that. Signore and Nordaker have accomplished in their first attempt what many veteran directors have yet to achieve: they have made a film that is enjoyable to watch that does not, by any means, remain in the realm of good taste. And that is how it should be; similar to Raimi's early work, "The Janitor" keeps the viewer on the thin line between face-stiffening laughter and gore-induced queasiness. As the film begins to stray more towards one side, the filmmakers skillfully pull the viewer back with clever writing and savvy editing. It is clear that Signore and Nordaker have created a film that is both enjoyable and entertaining. It is also certain that the directors of "The Janitor" have a promising future in the film making industry. Finally, this viewer will ensure that he never forgets to put his office cleaner on his Christmas Card list, lest he stray to far into the custodial closet, never to be seen again!

Hi, All Gore fans,

No, I didn't say Al Gore. All gore. Good gore. More gore.

This is a film that I believe was a remake of The Sound of Music but slightly different. This time Julie Andrews is a janitor who is played by a bearded guy. His partner is a Dick Van Dyke look-a-like but who sounds more like Howard Stern after gargling Pennzoil.

The movie begins with a clever title sequence, well edited, and has correct spelling. There is a killing before the title and then it becomes violent with nice music here and there. Good comedy seminal fluid inserts.

Costuming is very well done. Acting is superb, but does not detract from the occasional bloodspurt. Death scenes are funny.

Lionel the Janitor is sort of a combination plate of Jonathan Winters, Charles Bronson, Hulk Hogan, Leo Gorcey, Steven Segal and a touch of Shirley Temple.

His partner is more of a cross between Dolph Lundgren and Tex Ritter with a voice somewhat reminiscent of Mr. Ed.

This is a very funny slasher movie that is well made. I hope the team works on some more stuff soon. Perhaps a western.

Tom Willett

The Janitor, Andy Signore's first full length picture, is very impressive. From the brooding Lionel, to the special effects, the choreography, the music, and the supporting characters, it is an outstanding first movie - especially when compared to the first films of Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson. Andy has an eye for clever cinematography and an ear for coordinating great music to the scenes. The Janitor is bold in it's use of gore in a story about Lionel's rather sensitive, but, misguided, sense of what and how he believes life should be. This is a great "B" film with something for everyone. While attending the Philadelphia premier I heard this movie praised by sensitive women and burley men. Everyone enjoyed it. A must have for everyone's movie collection. This will not be Andy's last film. It's just the beginning of a great career.

It is not often that I give a movie 10/10. This one, for sure, is not for everyone at all times, but for the intended mood and audience, it is perfect.

Every scene has high production values, when you consider that the intent is to produce confusion. Some call this a "B-grade movie", but no, they did not lack the budget to do a good movie. They intentionally, by careful purpose, made something which never suspends disbelief because the world is intrinsically unbelievable.

The result involves everything from audio re-dubbing to key plot points, all used to make you see the mistakes, not as errors, but as intentional. They aren't mistakes at all, they are just... unreal.

This movie should not exist, but it does. A whole crew sat down and made sure that in no moment can you get complacent, thinking that you finally understand the "world rules" can just sit and "be entertained". No, every single moment has obvious wrong things, less obvious wrong elements, and is all constructed upon a premise which is wrong both morally and in consistency with any fantasy or real world laws or order.

This is not total chaos, however. It is a straightforwards story offset, twisted, and then twisted again. At every scene, for every character, in every way.

The acting team is competent, the writing makes for a time-line with no plot holes, and the directing and editing are spot on to keep a great pacing. On purpose, all of the characters are not only odd in some way, but are also exaggerated to the point where their lack of self-awareness is the only consistent plot point.

The audio mix is well done, but on purpose some things are out of sync (e.g. intentional off-sync audio dubbing), as if making reference to other films that do it due to constraints, rather than due to the purposeful effect of parody of an entire genre.

This is not to say that, on a deeper level, this is worth watching - - no, this movie is shallow, gross at times, sets bad examples, and cannot be shown to anyone who takes their time seriously.

However, if you do find yourself taking life too seriously, and struggling with any problem which seems impossible, then this movie will take your mind totally off of those things, and help you to feel emotions that are directed, ultimately, at a well constructed respite from the folly of human society.

I would not suggest that this movie was made by aliens from outer space, but rather, from the comedian from inner space. It is a reflection of those thoughts that we normally ignore and dismiss as way out of possibility and utility, and thus discard.

This movie is trash, on purpose, made to draw attention and then waste it... and it say so in the synopsis. Thus, if that is what you want, a distraction, and an absurdity, then it does it well.

It does not lack in any technical point, either, and greatly appreciate that. The scenes, story, and characters, may all repulse, but never will you be straining to hear a line, complaining about the acting, or thinking that they should have edited the script or timing more.

Rather, you may want to know... what was it that I just watched, how could they possibly get funding for this, and why can't I have as much fun?

I hope that this inspires a new generation of film-makers to make more films with high objective qualities, no matter their budgets, and to spend the extra time and money to polish it in editing.

It may sound like a contradiction, but this is well presented garbage, and that makes it a great movie. If that is what you are looking for, if you have a bunch of friends or some alone time to get distracted and challenged to see life through less serious lenses, then this will definitely help you there.

Please enjoy this as much as I did... just don't judge it as anything than what it plans to be.

Not details about story, plot, or character because every scene is its own "what the ---" moment, and all I want to do is hope that others also can enjoy it. It might even be a new genre: the super never serious consistently inconsistent unpredictable details chaos based horrible emotion invoking movie, or BI SCC DUNS WHIM for short (anagram). Why did I make that anagram?

If you watch this movie, arbitrary things like that will be filling your mind. It is curiously contradictory.