The Purifiers

I would advise AGAINST watching this...there's better things to do with your time and/or money. If, for some reason, you ARE gonna be subjected to this, don't expect ANY elements of many sci-fi/action films - no realistic martial arts; no gore; no sex, no logic - virtually no attempts to string together something that is a passable movie. So, it's a no-no, all the way. Rigid acting; illogical continuity (a girl goes off to find a phone box to make an emergency call, telling the guy who see has just seen using his mobile phone), inexplicable jump cuts are common (why did one guy just teleport on to the middle of an ice rink, in another example a girl surrounded by a biker gang suddenly appears on the outside of their ring?). The plot is simple: Copy 'The Warriors', just add a bid of poor martial arts (i.e. four glow sticks are thrashed around in a otherwise black screen to represent a fight, absolute childish crap!) and no one will know the difference, nah! The films title doesn't seem to make any real sense until after watching this movie you'd wish your mind could be purified of the memory of it! I WILLED it to end... from the 90 mins of the Purifiers, you easily have 30 mins of characters running around the place with annoying bad music, including the director singing with his almost forgotten pop band the Skids. That leaves, say, 60 mins of attempting to clone 'The Warriors', but done so badly your jaw will remain hanging throughout this sorry affair. This is not a movie. This is not an essay about a movie. This does not bear any resemblance with entertainment or cheesy fun or anything connected with the movie business. There are some movies which are so bad you can find them amusing, fun, easy to follow because of their badness... well, fascinating stuff. The only fascinating thing here is the will of the director to show us how badly he can try to rip off a classic which he wrongly believes people have forgotten, total boredom is the honest result. This is probably one of the only movies in all movie history where a blank screen can be a better spectacle...Yes it really is that bad!

This movie is so horrible, it makes Rollerball with Dean Cain look like a masterpiece. In an over-stylized and underacted martial arts debacle, Richard Jobson manages to torture the audience for an hour and twenty minutes with slow motion fight sequences nobody cares about but him. I won't get into the plot since it speaks for itself. Not a lot of thought went into it and can be summarized as follows: in some city run by rival karate gangs, only one gang has the guts and morality to stand up to the evil Moses, the gang boss bent on uniting the gangs for evil purposes. I don't exaggerate when I say that's as deep movie went into it as well.

With some of the worst martial sequences ever defecate onto film, this movie is sure to leave you kicking the DVD out of your player long before the final credits. The fight sequences are at times shown on a split a screen, with so much cutting and slow motion, you can't tell who's fighting who. Luckily, you don't really care. There is actually narratives by the main character, an inside look into his philosophical musings, that are actually so cheezy and out of place, it's sadly comical. I think SOMEBODY takes themselves too serious. Definitely not worth using a free rental for.

To say that this filmed sucked would be an understatement. This film was dreadful. Supposedly, this took place in the future...though I'm not sure when in the future. There was never any mention of the year. There was a little cheesy acting and a lot of unnecessary martial arts. Apparently, in the future, we will resort back to ancient Asian fighting tactics. No weapons but our hands and feet. There were several times where there would be two different sequences taking place on split screen, which makes it impossible to see everything that's happening. And, again, I must mention the unnecessary martial arts. The story had no structure to it, so to fill in the void...fight sequence. The acting was mediocre at best. The story was completely absent. The fighting was crap. All in all...2/10.

I really wanted to like this film. On one hand, the idea of a 'Glasgow kung fu film' had the alarm bells ringing, but Jobson's enthusiastic introduction and plea for more genre movies in Scottish film- making assuaged my fears, albeit temporarily, as he went on to say 'story isn't so important' (it's EVERYTHING, imho). I've read the other reviews to try and find the positives, to see if I missed anything. Apart from Dom's sexual magnetism, I don't think I have missed anything. The story, when it appears, is a rip-off of The Warriors, the dialogue is stilted (McKidd's Moses spouting the most clichéd guff), the fight scenes hackneyed (far too much slow- motion). It wouldn't be fair to comment on the acting as the writing gave the actors nothing to work with. There are some scenes where the director is tipping his hat to famous kung-fu movies (e.g. the fight in the restaurant), but instead of the intended tribute, they smack of insults.

I know this was low budget, but with a script as bad as this it should never have been made in the first place. I like Jobson and I want to get behind Scottish filmmakers; I'm hoping 'Sixteen Years of Alcohol' will be a better film. It can't be worse.

I don't normally DO action or martial arts films. I'm a girly girl. But every so often you have to relent and let the boyfriend watch something HE wants.

The Purifiers was it. He followed the production of this in magazines in the UK like Impact and Combat along with another UK action feature. We had a double bill of this and Richard Jobson's 'Purifiers'.

Comparing the two is like chalk and cheese (although they both share similar actors and stunt men and where made around the same time). One is interesting. Enjoyable. Fun. And exciting. The other is The Purifiers.

If you have the choice of watching one or the other Left For Dead is the one to go with.

This film is just dull, pointless and badly acted toss. Alexander should be shot for crimes against acting. Oh well could be worse... at least I had the momory of Left For Dead to erase this!