Near Death

I'm very surprised that this film was ACTUALLY released on DVD. When I purchased the DVD of this film, I was thinking.."Wow..I never heard of this movie..it seems interesting, with cannibals and such... and hey, the cover even looks cool!" Boy..was I WRONG. This movie was a horror movie cliché gone terribly wrong...There's something up with this house (saying this without spoilers) and these teenagers decide to investigate for a report, or something. The opening of this movie reminded me of a porno movie..and I mean, come on..was the shower scene REALLY necessary? And the filming angles aren't all that great, may I add. When they show the cannibals eating, it seemed like all they were eating was canned cranberry products. The 'gore' scenes didn't live up to the violence mentioned in the warning on the DVD, may I add. Also, the computer graphics was much too obvious. Frankly, I found this movie more of a comedy than a horror film. The actors were either overacting, or they seemed like they were not trying at all. The only character, I must say, that had somewhat good acting was Billy. The only result of this film after finishing it was inside jokes with my friend, since we were watching it together, laughing our asses off. I would not recommend this movie to anyone, unless you're in for a laugh of how corny this movie is. I will not watch nor buy another Castro movie. Ever.

Near Death (2003) is just a mess. The storyline (if you want to call it that) is boring and confusing. The acting is inept and the lighting and direction is terrible. Such a shame because the gore effects were surprisingly good for a "movie" like this. Like I said in the past, Gory set pieces do not make a picture. Shot on digital video and acted in "lame-o-vision". The performances varied from stiff to hammy. One actor in general shouted his lines.

Three so called "ghost hunters" enter a gaudy house populated by people who look as if they've been eating too much Black Jack Chewing Gum and a chronic case of halitosis. The protagonists are spineless and the monsters aren't even cool and the cast isn't even semi-attractive (the lead actress has an E.T. neck) and the dude (lead actor) looks like a cruiser. I don't know how they got the villain wrong. I mean he dresses kind of cool but his acting is simply dreadful.

Too many computer and digital effects destroy the movie. The editing needs a whole lot of work and the director needs to hire a person to work on the continuity. Even if this film was in the competent hands of a good director I don't think the results would have been any different. When you work with crap you'll wind up with crap, if you're good it'll be a shiny piece of crap.

I wouldn't recommend this film to many worst enemy. It's not worth the aggravation or testing one's patience by having to sit through this ordeal. Try and either find another movie or a different hobby.

Time is too short for things like this because this movie is NEAR DEATH!!

Near Death has all the elements of a straight-to-video movie: Hot guys, hot girls, lots of blood, good visuals, and plenty of scares. The actors are great, except there is one girl who is so bad that she sounds like a robot when she talks. It starts with these kids in a car out on the highway looking for a haunted mansion. They have a map and they argue a lot. When they finally find the place, they have an encounter with a team of ghosts. One of the girls falls in love with a ghost and is turned to the dark side. A bunch of people get butchered, and the two leads end up taking a shower together....hot!! The ghosts have to fight for their own survival, and you find out the secret of the movie, which is actually pretty trippy. I watched it again this morning.

I have an open mind to bad horror, and continued to watch this film after the first 2 minutes to see if it would get any better, against my better judgement. Its hard to describe just how poor this film really is. Lets face it, I've seen better acting in a porn film. The script was ridiculous, the plot was laughable, and the effects made me cringe and/or laugh out loud. Someone should tell whoever is responsible for this waste of time that jello looks nothing like innards, and never will. The camera work was poor, and this film just had "amateur" written all over it. I am stunned that "offerings" like this are even released on DVD, and even more amazed that they even get financed in the first place. Its an hour and a half of my life that i will never get back, and that makes me sad. Please do yourself a favour, and don't touch this, or any other film by the same company with a very big long stick.

This lame-ass excuse of a zombie flick was even poor by turkey B-movie standards. Myself being a B-movie enthusiast, I've seen some 'grade A' B-movies in the past couple of years implying that a low budget + remarkable creativity + insightful directing can lead to an impressive finished product. Overall this movie gave me the impression that a bunch of undergraduate students majoring in film studies decided to reap up some cash and come up with this ingenious, deplorable piece of craptastic art called 'Near Death'. It's the agonizing pain that you will experience through your veins as you sit through this whole movie.

I would definitely watch this movie a second time...if I was strapped to a chair, with my eyelids stapled open and receiving a naked lap dance from Rosie O'Donell, hence forcing me to tilt my head sideways towards the T.V. In other words, AVOID AT ALL COSTS. Enough said.

By the way, if you DO get a chance to watch this movie (maybe flipping thru the channels during the graveyard shift and happen to stumble upon upon it on Mystery Science Theater 3000) watch how the lead practically shouts every line off a TelePrompter, overacting every scene - as if this movie is supposed to be the pivotal point in her fictitious acting career.