Arachnia

A meteor forces a small plane to make a crash landing. For the six passenger, their problems are just beginning. The survivors have landed in the middle of a giant spider invasion. Hold-up in an old, abandoned house, they'll have to use all their resources if they are to make it out alive.

No beating around the bush here - Arachnia is bad. Everything about the movie scrapes the proverbial bottom of the barrel. The special effects are totally lame. The spider in Earth vs the Spider, made 45 years earlier, is more convincing. The acting is even worse. Most of these people have absolutely no business being in a film. Bevin McGraw as Trina is the worst. I'm not sure when I've seen a poorer performance. I've seen lines of dialogue in a 3rd grade play delivered more believably. Speaking of dialogue, these people say some of the most nonsensical things. They all sound like idiots. This is a complete mess of a movie.

However, there are some things to enjoy. Granted, most of it is in that "so bad it's good" sort of way, but I found myself enjoying bits of the movie despite all the problems. The enjoyment was minimal, but I can see how a group of friends with enough alcohol might find some entertainment.

Well I just finished watching the movie and I regret wasting every second...There's 80 bad minutes of my life that I'm not getting back... The flick is unbelievably "not good". The actors suck, the not-so-special effects suck - at times they are worse than the movies shot at the 50s - the dialogue is tacky...The only scene that caught my attention was Alexxus' naked scene. I just CAN'T believe somebody actually WROTE a script and the whole movie was not improvised! I also can't believe that there is a director out there who was so happy with his work that he allowed this piece of...#### to be produced..DO NOT BY ANY MEANS RENT THIS MOVIE!! IT'S BOTH A WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY!

Director Bret Piper's ARACHNIA opens with college professor Munkford (David Bunce) and his students crash-landing in an airplane, and winding up in an old farmhouse.

As the evening progresses, it becomes evident that: #1- Munkford is a creepy pervert! #2- Two of his students, named Trina and Kelly are beautiful, but whiney and brain-deprived! #3- Two other students, named Chandra and Sean are the only members of the group, aside from Munkford, possessing the ability to count past twelve! After the friendly farmer shows them a cow-sized arachnid carcass, humongous horror crawls forth on segmented legs!

This is where Piper's stop-motion and practical creature effects shine, far better than in some of his other films. Make no mistake, this is one big ball of cheeeze-corn from start to finish. However, it is highly entertaining nonetheless. Be sure to stick around for the VERY low-rent military response to the giant bug monsters!

Have no fear, there's nothing serious going on here!...

I like giant monster movies, hence I like giant spiders. So I guess I just had to see this one sooner or later. "Arachnia" is basically a total cheese-fest, bad to the bone. The nice touch was that it is sort of an homage to 50's & 60's giant monster/insect movies. So don't expect one original aspect here, story- or otherwise. The acting in general was, as to be expected, too bad for words. The effects aren't good either, actually, but they still are a lot of fun. Because the film-makers mostly used stop-motion (in the year 2003!, mind you) to bring the spiders to live. Needless to say, it's not on par with Ray Harryhausen's work. All-in-all: Kind of fun in a very bad way.

If I had to take a guess on where the inspiration for this film came from, I would have to say that it was from the previous years spider release, Eight Legged Freaks which was made in like two weeks apparently. This film looks like it was made in a couple of hours. Not saying it was a total suckfest, but definitely not all that good as there is so much annoying talking between the characters, lots of titillation without actually having the titillation and spiders that the makers of this movie were not sure how they come about.

The story has a group of students and their professor flying to some big dig happening in Arizona. The professor is pompous and actually brought two of the girls because he has the hots for them. Meteors are flying through the air and one crashes nearby sending powerful shock waves which cause the plan to crash. They find a broken down house to stay out before a farmer comes and wants the professor to see this spider in the barn. The professor says it's fake, but soon a bunch of them come and begin trying to kill the group out in the middle of nowhere.

The story may have worked with more gore, more likable characters and better effects. As it is, you will want Deke dead first, then the professor and then the young lady who does not scream all the time, but instead says everything sarcastically then the pilot that reminds me of that guy on Friends and then the two cute girls who scream and talk a lot. You will just want to see them all dead is what I'm saying! The effects could be forgiven if we had more gore and good characters, but since we don't, at times it looks like a Ray Harryhausen film if he didn't try at all.

So, not the best film in the world, but certainly not the worst either. Not sure what the point of the bath scene and the two girls in bed scene as nothing is shown in either scene and both seem to lead up to something bordering on sexy before nothing happens. The cave scenes look alright, but why are there worms or were they supposed to be spiders? Also, I am doubting a captain of anything can just take an entire platoon to the middle of nowhere just cause his daughter was crying on the phone. Lots of idiocy going on, but at least I had the satisfaction of watching Deke pulled apart!