Un soupçon de rose

WARNING: Not only spoilers but some personal comments/rants

Yeah, the premise is stale - multicultural (white/non-american) gay couple, homophobic mother, coming out etc. For most people, Cary Grant/Kyle Maclahan was the best aspect of the movie. Kyle Maclahan has clearly enjoyed himself, and it is a delight to watch him perform. But there is more to the movie. It is surprisingly realistic! Now reviewers I have a lot of respect for, including NY Times, have been harsh on the movie and that is understandable even though it's surprising. In my humble opinion, based on living in the South Asian culture for 27+ years of my life, I beg to differ.

The fundamental difference between the "Western" culture and the "Asian" culture, as I can see, is the disproportionate emphasis on family in Asian culture as opposed to individuality, privacy, and personal space. To give you an example, in all the time I lived in India (the first 22 years of my life), I never had my "own" room. Even my parents didn't have their bedroom. Everyone slept in the living room. We shared closets for keeping clothes, shelves for books etc. People grow up differently under such circumstances. You learn to "sacrifice" for the sake of family. A tremendous amount of the individual pride in the Western culture - all that living your life to the fullest extent, being what you want to be in life, making your own choices and learning to take responsibility for them - is lost. It resurfaces as family pride. You do everything for your family. Your family has to be the best it can be. Your choices are guided by the ultimate prestige of the family. The elders (the heads of the family) make the choices for the younger ones. You would live at your parents' house till you are married to a person of opposite sex and once your parents retire, you and your spouse become heads of the family. Then its your turn. Even then you can't make decisions based on your preferences but based on what is "appropriate" to maintain and build the prestige of the family.

I am probably saying stuff people think they know. You really don't until you experience it. I've found my American friends find all the Indian movies (Bollywood) very amusing with all its over-the-top melodrama. Having lived in US for 5+ years, I find it over-the-top and am turned off by it most of the time. But when I do sit and watch an Indian movie, I'm sucked into it at some point. I've always wondered why. The reason is this: in India, people actually live like that. My parents are living proofs for this fact. Everything is turned into an emotional blackmail so that I uphold the prestige of the family and help my parents "win" in their social life. Yes, parents actually consider arranged marriages of their children as personal victories in upholding family prestige and "love" marriages of their children as personal failures. Oh, the fact that I'm gay doesn't even enter the picture! So, for all its unbelievability and over-the-top amateur production values, this movie is indeed believable, simply because I have heard this very dialog from my own mother about plunging a knife in her heart for something much less trivial than falling in love with a "phirangi" - a foreign (different skin-colored) woman. Is my mom a selfish controlling monster? She probably is, according to Western culture, because she wants me to marry a South Indian, Iyengar Brahmin girl of good heritage despite the fact that I am gay, and that she'd throw much worse tantrums than Nuru ever did in the movie. But then, I know my mom better. I know the kind of personal sacrifices she did for the sake of her family, sacrifices that would have been called foolish, stupid, and naiveté by Western culture. Now I won't marry a girl and "sacrifice" like her, but I do understand that in my mom is a manipulator and a victim. I completely understand why Alim went to Toronto after his mom than stay in London and go after Giles.

The movie touched me personally despite being flawed in many ways. Jimi Mistry's performance was horrible and Giles and Alim had almost no chemistry. The production values were amateurish. The biggest problem for me with the movie was that Alim's character was not fleshed out at all even in the screenplay level. Despite all that, the movie rang true in a number of levels for me and did not stereotype or reduce the issue of a gay man coming out in an Indian culture to a caricature. I applaud Ian Iqbal Rashid for that.

7 out of 10

I noticed the DVD of TOUCH OF PINK at my local Tower store and decided to rent it. Home yesterday with a bad head cold, I popped it into the DVD machine and lost the next hour and 40 minutes to a movie of subtle charm and lovely sentiment.

Alim (Jimi Mistry) is a still photographer working on movie sets in in London where he lives with his lover, Giles (Kristen Hodlen-Reid). A huge fan of vintage movies, Alim has created an imaginary best friend, in the form of Cary Grant (Kyle MacLachlan), who is always at hand to give him advice on what clothing to wear and how to wear them, often helping him out of awkward social situations. Alim is a bit dreary, and at first you think he certainly doesn't deserve the long- suffering Giles, who after a long series of sexual conquests, has finally settled down into domestic bliss with Alim and is very much in love with him.

Meanwhile Alim's mother, Nuru, is unhappily living in Toronto in the shadow of her social climbing sister, Dolly (Veena Sood). Dolly is gleefully spending a great deal of her successful husband's fortune on the upcoming marriage of her only son. Nuru is one of those unfortunate malcontents who never checks her feelings before saying something rude and mean-spirited, and for this bad habit, she's rather disliked by her sister's catty social circle. Depressed with all the attention her sister is receiving, Nuru decides to jump on a plane and visit her son in London. The only problem is she doesn't know he's gay.

Once in London, Nuru's rudeness is aimed at Giles. She is wildly insensitive to her son's life and home, and in general clueless about his life. Giles works hard to break down the barriers and succeeds, taking Nuru out for a day in London, where she has a wonderful time. But in short order, she is startled to find out that Alim and Giles are lovers and she angrily flees back to Toronto, leaving her son miserable and bad-tempered. Giles tries very hard to cheer Alim. Caught up in her own depression, Nuru is nearly catatonic upon coming home. Dolly knows something is wrong, but Nuru won't talk about it.

About the only person who can comfort Alim is Cary Grant. As Alim and Giles relationship continues to tank, Alim decides to go home for the wedding of his cousin. And then Giles turns up in Toronto with all the attendant comic possibilities implied.

I'm surprised at some of the cynical comments about this sweet and gentle comedy of clashing cultures. There's nothing laugh-out-loud funny in this film, which is fine with me. It certainly is a lovely film about reconciliation and acceptance. Nuru is one of the most annoying mothers I've encountered in the movies. She's beautiful and still young, and yet she's so caught up in her culture of getting married to a successful person. Any prospective son or daughter-in-law will have their work cut out for them with this mother-in-law. But when Giles takes her out for the day, she melts and her defenses disappear. The walls come back up in short order, but again fade in the final moments. Giles is certainly a dream lover, but his essential goodness never descends into sainthood. Alim is a bit of a drudge, and he's certainly not very sure of himself. But he's got Cary Grant to keep an eye out for him, and who could ask for anything more? Kyle MacLachlan is wonderfully assured, never overdoing his affectionate impression of the movie legend, delivering his lines effortlessly.

Director Ian Iqbal Rashid steers his fine cast through the thickets of this social comedy with assurance and restraint. I found myself beaming idiotically through this adorable comedy of manners. Resist it not.

I had the opportunity to view "Touch of Pink" as a special showing to members of the Miami Gay and Lesbian Film Festival community this week. The director, Ian Iqbal Rashid, was present and provided a wonderful Q&A following the showing.

The film is "low budget" - just how low is low? The director wouldn't say (a provision in his contract with Sony, apparently). Frankly, I have seen many big budget films that delivered much, much less. The fact that the director also wrote the screenplay and the lyrics to the original compositions shows his devotion to delivering this film. From concept to screen took him 11 years!

Several facts speak for themselves: 1. The audience reacted very favorably to this film at Sundance, and at the screening I attended, 2. It has been picked up by several major Lesbian & Gay Film Festivals for prime opening or closing night slots and 3. It is scheduled for release by Sony Pictures in July. This is not your run of the mill film festival film! Most films come to the film festival circuit LOOKING for a distributor.

One could easily say the premise has been overdone (i.e., homophobic mother/gay son/coming out angst story). For me, however, this film had unique twists that made it anything but trite. A gay, Indian Muslim from Canada living in London and forced to confront his own and his family's, homophobia isn't something I've ever witnessed before. Kyle MachLachlan as Cary Grant (a make believe friend of the main character, Alim) is a sight to behold. The acting is generally superb; the timing of the lines perfect. Throw in enticing sets and wonderful costuming and you've got magic going on.

At a time when we in the West are confronted daily with images of the "evil" radical fundamentalist Muslim world, I believe this film serves yet another purpose. It shows the humanity of Muslims, and I'm certain this image is much more realistic than the one we see repeated ad nausea on CNN. Dealing with homophobia is a common denominator: Maybe we have more in common with the vast majority of Muslims than we have been lead to believe. One leaves with a sense of optimism (if Alim can survive this mess with such cultural obstacles, maybe there is hope for the kid in the Midwest from a fundamentalist Christian family). There is even an Indian distributor signed up, so maybe an even greater impact will be made in the Muslim world.

As one audience member put it, "I like movies that make me think, make me laugh and make me cry...this did all three." I couldn't agree more. This is a must see!

This is a funny movie that is a light approach to coming out to a Muslim family. The mother is really the star of this movie--her character was complex, realistic, and comical. Kyle Mac. was excellent in the role of a Cary Grant angel who helps Alim with his problems in life. The movie would not have worked without the Cary Grant angel so my hat is off to the screenwriter for putting that into the screenplay. There were many funny moments between "Cary" and Alim. The relationship between Alim and his boyfriend was more realistic than many couples in gay-themed movies. There were conflicts over staying in the closet, there were culture clashes (Pakistani vs. English/Muslim vs. Atheist/Toronto vs. London), and infidelities while the relationship was in turmoil. The issue of responsibility to parents and family versus following ones own feelings about how to live was also touched on. I was a little hesitant to see this film but I am glad I did.

Just like television these days, gay-themed movies are becoming a more popular genre. There aren't very many gay-themed movies that are actually realistic with a decent script and acting. Too many screen writers fall into writing stereotypical characters with story lines that revolve around AIDS or clubbing. Finally, Hollywood is making some good movies that are actually enjoyable. Touch of Pink is about a gay Canadian living in London with his boyfriend. He's not only gay, but his family is devout to his Indian culture. His family has no idea about him being gay until his mom comes to visit him, hoping to find a spouse for him.

The movie is fun and often comical. Kyle MacLachlan plays the main characters imaginary friend. MacLachlan does a great job, and the character's writing is witty and fun, but the character gets more annoying as the movie goes on. The movie tries to recreate a modern-day Cary Grant movie, but only makes it half way. In the end, the movie is fun and enjoyable, and doesn't fall into all the pitfalls of making gay-themed movies.