Among Us

I'm sneaky and sly, with a keen eye to spy, In a realm where stories and actors do fly.

I judge without mercy, my pen's mighty sword, In the world of the screen, I am adored.

Yet amidst the crew, I play a dual role, A critic in hiding, with a secretive goal.

In this game of deceit, who can you trust?

Unmask me, dear friend, if you're ever fussed.

Who am I in this cinematic fuss, A silent saboteur among us?

In shadows I lurk, my words like a storm, In this realm of glamour, I take on a form.

I dissect the plots, the acting, the scenes, But behind the facade, I'm not what I seem.

I blend with the crowd, a chameleon's guise, But my critiques can cut like a sharpened disguise.

In this world of illusion, where truth is a must, Guess my identity, unravel the trust.

Who am I in this cinematic fuss, A silent saboteur among us?

Hiding in plain sight, behind the silver screen, A movie critic, both real and unseen.

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The Polonia twins are not only Among Us, they continue to unleash mind-blowing crap like this two (sometimes 3) per year. Sometimes with budgets soaring up to tens of dollars. Having suffered (barely) through mind-numbing utter crap like "Holla if I Kill You", "House That Screamed", it's sequel, AND Hellspawn (yes I know i'm masochistic), I came into this 'film' expecting the worst. And i'm happy (happy being used quite loosely indeed) to inform you that those particular expectations were met quite nicely. From the dreadful opening replete with endless minutes of fart noise to the endless shower sequences that features absolutely NO nudity. From the faux trailer and music videos to the horrendous sound (music overwhelms the actors' speaking at times). As craptacularly bad this tale of a struggling B-grade film maker who meets a real Bigfoot after making a career out of making horror films about the fabled creature is, it's actually one of the better efforts from Polonia, if you can believe it. This is due, in no small part, because the writer of it ISN'T a Polonia (they just directed it) this time around. Even with a good half of the film, if not more, is filler. My Grade: D-

If you only watch mainstream movies, you will think that this movie stinks to high heaven. If you love b-movies, then you might get a few moments enjoyment out of this flick. The song at the end may be the funniest ever.

The problem is that its SOOO derivative from Blair Witch, that it really takes away from the few good points the film has. One hour in, and its still crawling along.

The acting is better than the Polonias brothers usual fare, (which I will admit is damning with faint praise). The camera work isn't hideous. It ain't great, but it is a step above their usual efforts. Its probably the about the best you could do for about $20000.

Of course, I wouldn't go so far as to say that its good...

This is most certainly a movie (among us) it has a cast, cinematography (?), a score (?), and other movie things. This movie is among us and red is incredibly sus throughout the entirety of this movie, i saw him kill and vent in cafeteria (:O) amogus was sus.

This script must have been the worst movie script that's ever been produced. The acting is even worse than the script. And the production values are even worse than the acting. That is how completely awful this movie is. I don't even consider it a movie, it's what you would expect to see if you gave a couple grade eight kids a video camera for a day. And by video camera I mean old style camcorder camera that uses VCR tapes. To anyone involved in this production I say please, please, for your families and for your own self respect and for the movie watching public, never ever make another movie again. This movie was so bad there aren't words to describe it.