Hellraiser VIII: Hellworld

I've got to say i wasn't too impressed with this to be honest. I love the original hellraisers and i just keep hoping that they make at least 1 more decent sequel but thats looking unlikely.

Having said that i've seen worse films but its seems to have gone down the the traditional slasher film a bit too much. The real shame is that there's some good ideas in it. They just don't seem to have been pulled off.

Don't go out of your way to watch this unless you're really into the series. It doesn't add anything, just offers a slightly different slant on the story.

Hey you wanna know what I hate? Lines of dialogue like this:

"You been away from the dark realm a while, Chels, how'd it feel playin' again?"

"Just like any other ultra-violent twenty-four hour wildly popular and yet utterly purposeless embraced-by-the-masses Internet role-playing game."

It's one of those lines of dialogue that they always put into movies like Hellraiser 8 that are impossible to avoid sounding like they were written and re-written and rehearsed and re- rehearsed and then finally they just give up trying to make it sound natural after 30 or 40 takes and, exasperated, just drop the best bad take into the movie. That, being said, let me tell you what I have figured out.

After years if deliberation about what it takes to make a good horror movie and what is missing in a bad one, after countless theories (the presence of teenagers or college-age kids being near the top of that list, by the way), I have finally discovered for certain the exact point at which a movie stops being scary and good and instantly becomes stupid and bad. There is a perfect illustration of the solution near the end of this film, when Chelsea gets locked in the room and Adam starts calling to her from under the floor.

She has becomes absorbed in some photo album despite having found herself locked into the creepiest attic imaginable, and she hears someone whispering her name from behind her. She spins around just in time to see a hand disappear beneath a crack in the floorboards, and she cautiously moves over to investigate. As she peers into the hole, she continues to hear her name being called and she can see the tiniest glimpse of a face in the darkness, and at this point I am absolutely cringing in my chair. No matter how sure I am that something is going to spring out in a situation like that it still gets to me.

And then she did something stupid.

Literally the instant Chelsea put her hand through that crack in the floorboards, I immediately relaxed, almost to the point of breathing a sigh of relief because I didn't have to worry anymore because I completely stopped caring. And it's not just because she doesn't realize she's in a horror movie (despite the fact that the entire cast of this movie are hardcore Hellraiser fans, so the fourth wall has already been breached), it's because the moment her hand crosses the threshold of that crack in the boards she instantly ceases to be a victim.

And you know what my analogy is? Suicide! When someone in a horror movie does something that stupid, it is generally because the filmmakers need to have the character killed off but can't think of a really clever way to have it happen, so they just have the character do something monumentally stupid, but the problem is that this places the blame for their death on themselves, and in a horror movie, it's not only not scary when someone is attacked after doing something as idiotic as putting her hand through the crack in the floorboards because she thinks she sees her dead friend down there, it's satisfying, and not in the good way either.

Stupidity should be painful, but in the movies, it should be lethal.

That being said, it's amazing how little effort was made into making it clear what exactly was going on in the movie. It starts out with the funeral of a college age kid having been killed because of his over-involvement in something called Hellworld, which itself is never very clearly explained. His friends later mourn that they all knew what was happening to him but still kept playing Hellworld, although if you watch the making-of featurettes on the DVD, Director Rick Bota refers to Hellworld as "a website, or video game." It's kind of an ominous sign when even the director doesn't know what his movie is about. Either that or he doesn't know the difference between a website and a video game.

The story follows the death of their friend, something about that game, and then cuts to a few years later when all of his friends get invited to a party celebrating the said video game. Needless to say, it's kind of like an overblown Halloween party where everyone seems to be fascinated with the macabre (serious macabre, too, like dead babies in jars, sounds like a blast), and girls randomly pull their breasts out (curiously, the first bit of wildly gratuitous nudity is followed by the following exchange – "Gratuitous breasts?" "Necessary breasts! Ha ha ha!" Clever.).

When all is said and done and you finally realize what has been happening throughout the entire movie, it is such a ludicrous and ridiculous twist that it distantly surpasses the Saw movies for absurdity. If you thought Jigsaw had some time on his hands to come up with some incredibly complex machines of torture, wait until you see the plot that is hatched by the Host (played by Lance Henriksen, who wastes his talent completely in this movie).

Also don't miss the making-of featurette on the DVD, in which you can witness Pinhead eating a piece of pizza and, my favorite, Khary Payton, one of the actors in the film, makes the following mysterious analogy – "Horror movies are like roller coasters, you know, they're not gonna win Oscars or that kind of thing, but they're just a lot of fun."

I don't know, Khary, have you ridden Xtreme at Magic Mountain in Southern California? I see an Oscar in that ride's future!

Another one in a series of scenarios that are obviously not originally written for the franchise, but subsequently adapted to fit into it. Not particularly successful this time. Frankly, I was bored. I can not specifically point a finger and say, "This is bad." Nothing in this movie is particularly bad, but nothing is particularly good either, so it's all together forgettable and leaves no impression. The premise is interesting, but it is developed to the unconvincing and unexciting story. The music is not annoying, but it's not catchy either, and by no means contributes to the atmosphere. But there's really no atmosphere, or tension, or fear... Not even decent jump-scares. The acting varies from bad to mediocre, and even famous names such as Lance Henriksen, Katheryn Winnick (Lagertha from the "Vikings") and Henry Cavill (the last Superman) are totally unimpressive. I did not even recognize Lagertha until the end credits. In short, to answer the question from the headline: No, it isn't LIKE a bad horror movie - it IS a bad horror movie. However, the premise brings refreshment in the franchise, there are beautiful and naked girls and some nicely done gore, and I liked the final twist, so I can not completely bury it (pun intended).

5/10

Like Freddy Krueger, Micahel Myers, Jason Voorhees, and Chucky, Pinhead has become a pop culture icon the years. He first appeared in Clive Barker's novel "The Hellbound Heart", which was later turned into the 1987 hit movie HELLRAISER, which was written and directed by Barker. The success of HELLRAISER lead to three theatrical sequels, comics, and action figures. In the eighteen years since its release, the cult status HELLRAISER as grown bigger and bigger. Knowing they have an audience of die-hard Pinhead fans, executives at Dimension Films insist on cranking out a new direct-to-video sequel every few years. None of them are particularly any good, but I just like the legion of other Pinhead fans, watch them with the hope that one of the sequels with be as good as the original HELLRAISER. This year saw the release of two direct-to-video sequels. The first was HELLRAISER: DEADER, which was better than the average direct-to-video release, but still not nearly as good as HELLRAISER was. The second direct-to-video sequel featuring Pinhead to be released in 2005 is HELLRAISER: HELLWORLD, a film so lackluster that makes all the other direct-to-video Hellraiser sequels look like cinematic gold. 'HELLWORLD' is yet another horror flick that seems to have been inspired by Wes Craven's NEW NIGHTMARE. However, while NEW NIGHTMARE was a clever and original horror picture, HELLRAISER: HELLWORLD is anything but. The premise seems dated and it is not nearly as clever as the filmmakers believe it is. The plot is just one of the many faults with this poorly edited, dreadfully acted, and misdirected failure. Like HELLRAISER: DEADER, 'HELLWORLD' was long delayed and it's not hard to see why. It's sloppily put together and for something that is supposed to be a horror thriller, lacks tension altogether. On the plus side, the make-up and effects are decent, some gratuitous nudity is thrown in, and Lance Henrisken is good in his role. The best thing that can be said about it is that it is not quite as bad as HELLRAISER: BLOODLINE. With any luck, this will be the last Hellraiser sequel. If there is actually yet another sequel, hopefully Clive Barker will be involved. The franchise as lost its steam. It's time for Pinhead to finally die. My rating: 4/10

This movie was terrible. I can't believe all the good reviews it got. This is easily the worst movie ever to bear the name Hellraiser, and if it weren't for Lance Henriksen, it wouldn't have even been a 2 in my book.

The acting ranged from mediocre (Chelsea) to downright abysmal (Jake), with the lone exception being Henriksen in his usual calm and menacing demeanor. The dialogue was clichéd, and Pinhead was turned into a crude mixture of Freddy Krueger and Jason Vorhees. He is supposed to be an arbiter, a ferryman to the other-worldly pleasures of the Hellraiser world, not some mindless killer of teenie-boppers. I couldn't care about any of the characters, which is what so painfully divides this movie from the 1st, which was built upon its characters. This is like Scream, except without any meaningful attempt at suspense or scares. The whole movie was so damn predictable that I was able to call every surprise.

I could tell though, before any of drivel that passed as "horror" in a franchise that isn't even supposed to be horror, that this movie would suck based on the Pinhead shirt one of the characters was wearing. That and a guy in a cenobite mask removed all attempts at a dignified motion picture before it even really began.

What disappoints me so much though is not the crappy acting, the swiss-cheese plot, or the sheer failure to achieve even mediocrity. Its how far this movie has fallen form the 1st or the 5th. Hell, Deader was worlds better than this, and even 3 and 4 had at least good quotes. This movie is an embarrassment, and Clive Barker should be infuriated at how his once-noble franchise has been mutilated.