The Weekend It Lives

Without exaggeration, I can safely say that this is the absolutely worst, most low-rent movie I have ever seen in my life. It simply has to be seen to be believed, and even when I was watching it I could hardly believe what I was seeing. Everything about it is atrocious from the effects to the "acting".

For one thing, I have never seen a movie that had a box around the picture. It's really hard to believe that this isn't someones bad student picture that accidently got on the shelves of the video store. The fact that this movie was actually distributed boggles my mind. The sound is so bad you can't hear half of what's being said. The direction is non-existent. The characters are the dumbest, most annoying jerks ever. The effects are so cheap they belong in an Ed Wood movie, not in a film made in 2002. The production values are worse that Manos: the Hands of Fate (chew on that for awhile). I can't say enough how phenomenally bad this movie is. Michael MFume, I hope you are hanging your head in shame.

Shocking. Bizarre. Nonsense.

Those are the first three words that came to my head after watching this truly amateur production.

Shocking because this "film" was actually released to the general public and available in video stores around the nation.

Bizarre because of the storyline. A person kills his family and himself and then comes back from his grave 13 years later to exact revenge. On who? Himself? His dead family? His dead self? Nonsense because of the completely random dialogue and scenes. Why does the movie start at a random party and then jump to some dance completion at Morgan State University? Please don't try to answer that question.

Nonsense because there are four grammatical errors in the opening sequence explaining the events of the movie.

Nonsense because after one scene you can actually hear the director clearly say "cut." Nonsense because you cannot understand what the characters are saying unless they are three feet from the camera. And when you can hear them clearly, which is only about 24 percent of the time, its all Ebonics and curse words.

Think of the worst movie you have ever seen. Think Plan Nine from Outer Space. And then lower your standards. That's how horrible this movie is. It's in a completely alternate stratosphere than even the lowest F-grade movies you've seen. This picture honestly looks like a high school cinema class production that drags on for 70 minutes and I say that with 100 percent seriousness.

It deserves 0/10, but that's not possible, so I'm forced to give it 1/10. I am literally going to go back and change every movie I ever gave 1/10 and give it an extra star or two simply because even those awful pictures are 10 times better than this garbage.

To call "Ax 'Em" the worst movie in the history of motion pictures would be too easy. Because that would imply that it's unwatchable, which on so many levels it is. Yet it's the absolute utter incompetence on all levels, from the direction to the script to the acting, that makes it just so damn entertaining, because you are simply stupified that anyone thought this could ever make a coherent film. If you enjoy watching a film for its mistakes, "Ax 'Em" will never leave your DVD player, because from the mis-spelled words and incomprehsible grammar, to the nonsensical ending 72 minutes later, "Ax 'Em" proves that no matter how incompetent you are with a video camera, someone will distribute it.

What makes this film so wonderfully special is that the director's father, Kweisi Mfume, was a U.S. Congressman, and former head of the NAACP! There are moments of D.W. Griffith-esque racism that were they not made by a filmmaker of color, would pass as a scenes from a training video for the Klan. It is nearly impossible to understand what anyone says, simply because the video camera is set up for a wide shot, and nobody talks anywhere near a microphone. The film, if you could call it that, makes no sense on any level, but moments like the fat guy walking around in the back of one shot holding the slate will have you laughing for hours.

This is bad filmmaking at its best. Thank you, Michael Mfume, for this wonderful gift.

Normally I'm very cinematically tolerant, I can find good in very bad movies. For example I think "Invasion Of The Blood Farmers" is a great film. "Ax Em" has nothing redeeming about it. This is a backyard production but that does not always mean a bad viewing experience, there are several creative amateur productions on the video market. This is not one of them. The sound is inaudible most of the time, yet you can clearly hear the director say "cut" after every painful scene. The cast frequently all talks at once making it impossible to understand anything. There is not one effectively executed sequence in the whole production. It is absolutely amazing this film got distributed WIDELY on home video by a company which specializes in "Urban" features. If you subtract all the technical ineptness, you still have a poorly written, poorly directed, poorly photographed, creatively sterile waste of time. Take it from me I have watched 20 years worth of B horror movies.

THis movie is amazing. I rented it from Hollywood Video after hearing it was the worst film ever, I though, "A movie worse than The Item? A Miracle!" No this is not worse than The Item. I rented it on VHS, and the small screen is funny as heck. Then I had to, I had to buy the DVD. The DVD sucks. No disc menu, and they enlarged the screen! The sound is supposed to be stereo sound or whatever but you still cant hear them....friggin hysterical. This movie has so many problems, it is just funny. I cant wait to show this crap to my friends. Check this one out if you wanna see a bad, bad, bad, bad movie. But get it on VHS cause of the small screen. Makes the movie funnier. Micheal Mfume we love you!!!!!!