I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!

The godfather of celebrity reality shows returns, and it still gets the best billing (prime time ITV) because it's the funniest, and most fun. There's another 'so what' set of celebs, but - like Strictly - the show has shown it can handle that. The secret to its success is everybody's favourite Hiberno-Geordies, Ant and Dec.

You might have expected the show to feel refreshed, then, after Ant (or Dec)'s hiatus last year; but personally I think something has gone that won't return. Maybe his mugging is now genuinely more desperate and cynical; maybe the unwanted insight into his private life just makes it seem that way. But where Dec (or Ant) still manages to convince with the cheeky schoolboy act they've been doing since PJ and Duncan, on the other side of the platform his partner (whichever one it is) is starting to seem just a little bit creepy.

That matters because good nature is the show's keynote; yes it makes people look daft but it never humiliates them, and it's usually the good natured that win it. Admittedly, the days of Jordan and Our Kerry, who had long if troubled careers off the back of it, seem to be over. The TV world has realised that there isn't much it can do with these people after they have thus refreshed their fame; few have any talent except being themselves; at best, they go on to co-host one of I'm A Celeb's own spin-off shows. And now Charlotte thingy has been dropped from Saturday Night Takeaway: Ant and Dec, how could you?

You marvel at how desperate some of the contestants must be to perform in this degrading and humiliating spectacle that they gamely undergo in order to get themselves on the front pages of the tabloids.

Originally the format sounded a bit more interesting the the 'Big Brother' format where they sit around in a house all day moaning and swearing. Unfortunately the participants in this sit around in a jungle all day, moaning, swearing... and eating creepy-crawlies. Hardly any noticeable difference.

I suppose it does work for some of the contestants who manage to resurrect their careers (and not necessarily the winners) such as the intensely irritating Joe Pasquale who is now bizarrely popular again, Peter Andre is now famous for being Jordan's husband, and Kerry Katona... least said about those dreadful supermarket adverts the better. I could go on, but most of the contestants have failed to drag themselves out of the obscurity in which they have sunk.

I was turned off of this programme right from the start, but I was persuaded to attempt another viewing by some obsessed friends - a couple of minutes watching someone eat live insects, grubs and then a kangaroo's testicle all the while trying not to vomit confirmed that it was not the show for me. The inane presentation by the two most overrated 'personalities' - Ant and Dec - on television at the moment did little to improve things. The formula is the same as all other reality shows with the group dynamic purposefully engineered to create tension between contestants while the producers appear outraged at any physical conflict. The people chosen seem to fit the same pattern as well, with there always being an out-spoken loudmouth one and a busty woman who has little to offer except looking good in a bikini, etc.

However with healthy viewing figures it is hard to criticise ITV1 for giving the public what they want, as quality drama costs around £800,000 an hour and would not guarantee many more viewers these days. The revenue generated by voting must go some way to plugging the gaping hole left by decreasing advertising revenues. It is hardly any wonder they churn out series after series.

Not a programme I care for personally but it certainly has its fans and it is hardly surprising due to the culture in Britain at the moment where the only ambition people seem to have is to be famous without much regard as to how it happens.

Why are people allowed to get away with not doing trials. Ann Hegarty hasn't even tried when it is obvious she is able to do it. Why should they get paid for doing nothing. The public should be the ones deciding who does the trial . Come on itv, if you want to keep the viewers, make the shirkers do more.

It's that time of year. Big Brother is long over so all other copy-cat reality- turn your brain to mush- programs come crawling out of the wood work to secure ITV1's finances for the next 200 years. This one is probably the most watchable out of this seasons offerings (Celebraty Love Island was a new low point in the history of television) but it's still the same old-same old. Ten or so 'celebraties' (I use the term VERY loosely) are dumped in the 'Austrailian Jungle' (most likely a set behind Woolies in South London) and made to 'fend for themselves' when they are put in 'dangerous situations' (with a team of First Aiders stood by, of course). I have watched one or two of the episodes this year and they failed to hold my interest. My advise, don't watch it. You'll probably get addicted to it and it'll rule your life for 4 or 5 weeks until it finishes and you'll forget about it.

Watch "Life In The Undergrowth" instead.

Sticking a bunch of C list celebrities out in the jungle seems to be a good idea on paper but is ruined by the idea of not keeping them there for ever . But what really annoyed me about the show is the amount of coverage it got in newspapers and the breakfast television shows . Everytime you opened a British tabloid newspaper you`d find several pages dedicated to the storm in a tea spoon that was the previous night`s edition . Same when you watched GMTV in the morning , the presenters would be interviewing the previous night`s loser every 15 minutes . Getting too much of a good thing is one thing , getting too much of a fairly bad thing is quite another

Of the votes cast Tony Blackburn was probably the deserved winner because he didn`t whine and moan ( Unlike the rest of contestants ) and never talked behind everyone else`s back ( Christine Hamilton did this all the time - Thank gawd the tories are out of power ) , but from a purely hetrosexist point of view I thought Nell McAndrew deserved to win since she spent much of her time there dressed in a bikini

I`ve just seen the second series . The novelty wears off very quickly