I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!

I'm not a real fan of celebrity shows just because I find the scramble for fame to often be quite distasteful and heavy with the smell of desperation. Likewise I'm not a big fan of "reality" shows because, although many are framed as being "helpful" most of the them actually draw their audience in with the promise of mocking or degrading those taking part; a look at Big Brother's exit shows will demonstrate what reality shows are about – almost everybody gets booed, meaning that the majority watch it to dislike the people and gossip about them. So when I'm A Celebrity started I gave it as much of a wide berth as I could but the influence and viewing habits of various partners and flatmates meant I have ended up watching bits and pieces of several series.

And I have to be honest and say that at best I'm unimpressed while at worst I'm impressed by how desperate some people are to get a boost of fame. We often wonder what we would do for money ("would you do x for a thousand pounds") but on this show we find out that some people will eat bugs and be covered in snakes or rats for the promise of several hundred thousand pounds. The basic idea of the show is that the celebrities stay in a forest clearing with so much technology crammed into it to watch them that even the monkeys must have headsets on. Here they bicker, fight and flirt while a section of the population that rely totally on the Sun and the Mirror for their news gossip and titter along. Each night we get a challenge and the public vote for who takes part.

Normally the trials are pretty horrible and they take pleasure in degrading the celebs, safe in the knowledge that most of them will do whatever it takes to get the headlines the next day. It is all quite grubby and unpleasant and for many of the trials I just left the room feeling rather concerned about what passes for entertainment these days. The inane relationships and personalities I can cope with but the fascination with degrading people is not something I particularly like.

Regardless though, like all the "best" (and by best I mean popular) reality and celeb shows, I'm A Celebrity is made or broken by the tabloids and for that reason alone it will always play up anything it can. As a result the real people get lost in the edit, fights are brought to the fore and bugs are chewed while vomit is choked back. Overall this is a pointless vacuous affair which, for that reason, draws a crowd happy with just that. I would grumble on about how this is a new low, but with the way things are generally headed a newer low would probably have been hit on television before I'd even finished writing this sentence. Ah well, give the people what they want I suppose, but I personally want no part of it.

If you watch one series it will be good even if you dont know the contestants, however after watching it one year you can already predict next years stunts as it's very repetitive. The celebrities woule boast about having watched it for years before appearing however still act shocked at the trial that happened last year with a minor twist. All of the trials seen to be repeats and overly dramatised It's a great show to gather all the family each year for a bit of family time but take a step back and it's just an overly hyped unoriginal original show.

You marvel at how desperate some of the contestants must be to perform in this degrading and humiliating spectacle that they gamely undergo in order to get themselves on the front pages of the tabloids.

Originally the format sounded a bit more interesting the the 'Big Brother' format where they sit around in a house all day moaning and swearing. Unfortunately the participants in this sit around in a jungle all day, moaning, swearing... and eating creepy-crawlies. Hardly any noticeable difference.

I suppose it does work for some of the contestants who manage to resurrect their careers (and not necessarily the winners) such as the intensely irritating Joe Pasquale who is now bizarrely popular again, Peter Andre is now famous for being Jordan's husband, and Kerry Katona... least said about those dreadful supermarket adverts the better. I could go on, but most of the contestants have failed to drag themselves out of the obscurity in which they have sunk.

I was turned off of this programme right from the start, but I was persuaded to attempt another viewing by some obsessed friends - a couple of minutes watching someone eat live insects, grubs and then a kangaroo's testicle all the while trying not to vomit confirmed that it was not the show for me. The inane presentation by the two most overrated 'personalities' - Ant and Dec - on television at the moment did little to improve things. The formula is the same as all other reality shows with the group dynamic purposefully engineered to create tension between contestants while the producers appear outraged at any physical conflict. The people chosen seem to fit the same pattern as well, with there always being an out-spoken loudmouth one and a busty woman who has little to offer except looking good in a bikini, etc.

However with healthy viewing figures it is hard to criticise ITV1 for giving the public what they want, as quality drama costs around £800,000 an hour and would not guarantee many more viewers these days. The revenue generated by voting must go some way to plugging the gaping hole left by decreasing advertising revenues. It is hardly any wonder they churn out series after series.

Not a programme I care for personally but it certainly has its fans and it is hardly surprising due to the culture in Britain at the moment where the only ambition people seem to have is to be famous without much regard as to how it happens.

It's that time of year. Big Brother is long over so all other copy-cat reality- turn your brain to mush- programs come crawling out of the wood work to secure ITV1's finances for the next 200 years. This one is probably the most watchable out of this seasons offerings (Celebraty Love Island was a new low point in the history of television) but it's still the same old-same old. Ten or so 'celebraties' (I use the term VERY loosely) are dumped in the 'Austrailian Jungle' (most likely a set behind Woolies in South London) and made to 'fend for themselves' when they are put in 'dangerous situations' (with a team of First Aiders stood by, of course). I have watched one or two of the episodes this year and they failed to hold my interest. My advise, don't watch it. You'll probably get addicted to it and it'll rule your life for 4 or 5 weeks until it finishes and you'll forget about it.

Watch "Life In The Undergrowth" instead.

The godfather of celebrity reality shows returns, and it still gets the best billing (prime time ITV) because it's the funniest, and most fun. There's another 'so what' set of celebs, but - like Strictly - the show has shown it can handle that. The secret to its success is everybody's favourite Hiberno-Geordies, Ant and Dec.

You might have expected the show to feel refreshed, then, after Ant (or Dec)'s hiatus last year; but personally I think something has gone that won't return. Maybe his mugging is now genuinely more desperate and cynical; maybe the unwanted insight into his private life just makes it seem that way. But where Dec (or Ant) still manages to convince with the cheeky schoolboy act they've been doing since PJ and Duncan, on the other side of the platform his partner (whichever one it is) is starting to seem just a little bit creepy.

That matters because good nature is the show's keynote; yes it makes people look daft but it never humiliates them, and it's usually the good natured that win it. Admittedly, the days of Jordan and Our Kerry, who had long if troubled careers off the back of it, seem to be over. The TV world has realised that there isn't much it can do with these people after they have thus refreshed their fame; few have any talent except being themselves; at best, they go on to co-host one of I'm A Celeb's own spin-off shows. And now Charlotte thingy has been dropped from Saturday Night Takeaway: Ant and Dec, how could you?