- Mental Patient: I'm the Creatrist of the universe, but temporarily I'm a Nid.
- Melvin: So you're God, basically.
- Mental Patient: No - look, God is like a venture capitalist in this equation, okay? The whole thing was my idea and it was basically my business plan, and his money. So I went ahead, I came up with the whole thing, I put it all together, and now he wants me out.
- Melvin: So it's like a hostile take over.
- Sarah: And if his wife got hit by a car tomorrow, I'd probably start sleeping with him again.
- Joey: This belief thing kills me. It's like, all theological concepts are basically unprovable. So they invented faith. Which was genius!
- Mental Patient: Look man, you don't, you're a human. I don't have to tell you, the human brain is just, it's like being sealing in a vat of chocolate pudding.
- Sarah: Do you realize that everything that you're saying is what they say the Antichrist would say?
- Joey: You're kidding.
- Sarah: No, it's true. They say the Antichrist will be a very rational person who will convince people not to believe in God but to believe in themselves, science, and rational thought.
- Melvin: Oh, you're totally the Antichrist.
- Joey: That is the most undignified thing I've ever heard of. I mean, this guy is the laughing stock of heaven right now!
- Melvin: My parents were never uptight about the Jewish thing (... ) On Christmas Eve, I ate ham and pineapple with her and her Catholic family. And I was like, "My ancestors are turning in their grave." Meanwhile, my parents are like, "How'd they cook the ham?"
- Joey: All of you need therapy.
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