Beyond the Seventh Door

In BEYOND THE SEVENTH DOOR, ex-con Boris (Lazar Rockwood) joins his girlfriend, Wendy (Bonnie Beck) for "one more job", involving the burglary of her boss' mansion.

So, the pair enter the fortress-like estate, unaware that it is specifically set up to thwart their criminal venture. The rest is a nightmare trip through a labyrinth, where the title comes into play.

Unfortunately, there are several things that hamstring this production. The infinitesimally tiny budget is an obvious problem. In spite of this, the "sets" (aka: a big basement) manage to be adequate. Indeed, more money could have made a substantial difference.

Then, there are the "actors". While Ms. Beck appears to, at least, be human, Mr. Rockwood couldn't have a better last name, since he seems to be some sort of mullet-donning, animated boulder / tree hybrid. Calling his movements and delivery "stiff" is like calling Antarctica "chilly".

Still, this movie does have merit in that it predates films with similar elements / themes, like CUBE, SAW, THE COLLECTOR, CRUSH THE SKULL, THE TRAP, etc., by many years. One can only imagine what BT7D could have been, if only it had a real cast, money, and a director...

In the annals of Canadian cinema, IMHO, there are only two actors who fully deserve the title Action Hero: the first is, of course, Bruce J. Mitchell who portrayed reformed Zioxx cultist Zap Rowsdower in The Final Sacrifice; the second is Lazar Rockwood as Boris in Beyond the Seventh Door. It is a mystery for the Ages how Tommy Wiseau has become a beloved film industry icon and household name, while Lazar Rockwood continues to be almost ignored. Rockwood's performance in this movie is curious, to say the least. At times, his engagement or lack thereof, is almost like he is in a different movie from his costar. Bonnie Beck. And yet, I could not look away. The film itself is not bad and builds up a satisfying claustrophobic atmosphere. Ms. Beck is quite fetching in her short skirt and becomes even more so as the movie goes on and she loses more and more of her outfit.

Ben Kerr as Dead Man or more accurately Dead (but still breathing every time he appears in the scene) Man was a delight and Rockwood could have taken a lesson from Kerr's restrained performance.

To be honest, this film is genuinely entertaining. Rookwood's lack of acting chops, Bonnie Beck's feminine charms, and Toronto street reformer Ben Kerr playing a breathing dead guy put this in my Pantheon of Great Cinema.

In no way does this move ever approach anything like good. I've seen productions by HS kids that were better. There was no acting, just people standing in front of a camera delivering lines like they were reading recipes out loud. The writing, again, I've seen better from HS students. This whole movie had the feel of a film school project from a not an "A" student. All of that said, I still found it mildly entertaining with a surprise twist at the end. No, I won't spoil it for you, you'll have to watch it for yourself. Why should we be the only ones to suffer? Seriously though, if you have an hour to kill it's definitely watchable, as long as your sorting your coupons, folding laundry or engaging in some other mindless task. There is a mild sense of curiosity at what the next room will be, but you're more than likely to laugh rather than jump when you see it. And the stone, brick and concrete walls are somewhat less wooden than Lazar. The corpse really was the best actor, as a previous reviewer mentioned. If you're not a fan of bad movies, there's nothing to recommend this one. If you enjoy B or worse movies, give this one a try.

When the eerily Billy Drago lookalike, but demonstratively not actor-like, Boris (Lazar Rockwood) is released from prison following his bungled participation in an aborted heist, he fatefully hooks up with his seemingly disinterested ex, the maddeningly delicious, sweet-lipped Femme Fatale, Wendy (Bonnie Beck) who somewhat fortuitously has recently gained access to a key that supposedly leads to her wealthy boss's 'secret room/treasure chamber' that allegedly overflows with unimaginable wealth and brightly glistering booty! With pleasingly brisk exposition, honey-hipped, Wendy and the catastrophically inept thief, Boris enter this crepuscular, multilayered domain, and with laudable alacrity their triumphantly weird, deliciously daft, absurdly contrived nocturnal adventures begin in deadly, treasure-seeking earnest!

My initial keenness in seeing 'Beyond The Seventh Door' was in revisiting the spectacularly odd, engagingly hyperbolic acting of the majestically monikered, Lazar Rockwood, a singularly strange Thespian whose implausibly cool handle is no less conspicuous than his monumental lack of dramatic subtlety, but it is this very autistic overkill which adds considerable 'Bad Movie' grist to this joyfully absurd and winningly implausible tale of an evil plutocrat's labyrinthine castle and its myriad, puzzle-laden chambers that might, perhaps, lead our plucky protagonists to their imminent doom!

Happily, my giddy anticipation of, Lazar's 'acting' proved entirely justified, as maverick dramatist, Mr. Rockwood manifested yet another hysterical display of his sympathetically earnest, hilariously unrefined 'acting', while perhaps not quite on par with his tweaked epicness in 'Fearless Tigers' but still so consistently off-key and stridently bereft of nuance as to suggest that this was some warped satire, the subversive director repeatedly taunting the actors with his asinine dialogue and increasingly implausible narrative contrivances! While 'Beyond The Seventh Door' never quite reached the heroic heights of extreme B-Movie buffoonery, the quirky puzzles were suitably puzzle-y, and it was frequently very, VERY silly indeed! (One can also enjoy a brain-nuking drinking game by having a wee dram each time Wendy inanely calls out, 'Boris!!!???')

I actually worked on this shoot and I am sure it is no surprise to all of you that Lazar is the same in real life. I know what you are thinking, how can that be? How can someone with such little command of the English language be cast in a movie? I still do not know. His charm, much like someones nails across a blackboard, plays on you day after day until Stockholm Syndrome kicks in and he actually becomes a likable yet still incomprehensible guy. This charm and the fact Bonnie was not so hard on the eyes had me give this movie a 4 out of 10 (OK that and the fact I worked on it). But you all have missed the true brilliance of what went into making this picture, and that started with BD Benedikt its director and Hamid the DOP (and ex-film maker for the Shaw of Iran). Without the personal insight of these gentlemen into what the viewing audience wants, Lazar would not have been half the actor he was in this movie. I suggest strongly that if these two gentlemen were ever given money to make another film and you can find a copy, watch it! They were only getting warmed up by the end of this film. And for the record, it was shot in the basement of the Colonial Tavern across from the Eaton Centre on Yonge St. (Not BD's basement, which was an option). It has since been turned into green space.