James: Now it's all about photo placement. So if you're in a group of three always, always, always make sure that you're the one standing on the right because that way when they print the picture you'll be the one on the left. The caption will read "James St. James and bla bla bla" were seen, okay?
[Michael is taking notes]
James: Okay. Rules of press. Number one, no publicity is bad publicity. Number two, once something is printed it automatically becomes true. So number three, never ever dish anyone in print. Never be seen drinking anything other than champagne and never take heroin. Never wear white after Labor Day and avoid that one like the plague!
James: Okay, okay. The art of working a room. Upon making your grand entrance, take your partner by the hand and circle around the room. Smile and say "hello" to everyone in the room. Even if you don't know them. Especially if you don't know them!
James: Go once around the room in opposite directions. You go clockwise to my anti-clockwise. Tell all the people how you've lost your friend and how desperate you are to find them. Oh, where could my friend be? Now suddenly we bump into each other and scream with uncontained joy!
[bumps into Michael and screams]
James: Good! Now link arms and around we go once more telling all our new found friends how we've found each other. We found each other!
Michael Alig: We found each other! Don't worry, I've found him!
James: Then leave. The whole thing should take an hour, 90 minutes tops. Do that once a night for three months and you'll be the toast of the town.
Michael Alig: [singing] Greetings, citizens. We are living in the age where the pursuit of all values other than money, success, fame and glamour, has either been discredited or destroyed. Money, success, fame, glamour.
[after James' phone conversion with Michael, who is in prison]
Interviewer: I can't believe you still talk to him.
James: Well, when was the last time you heard of a pea changing its pod?
Michael Alig: It's not so bad and after Gitsie and I get married we can have conjugal visits!
James: Oh Michael, Im so sorry, didn't you hear? Gitsie's dead. She had an overdose.
[Michael is silent]
Michael Alig: Why don't we make a pact whenever you feel down I'll help you and whenever I feel down you'll help me it'll be like a seesaw except neither one of us can get off.
Michael Alig: Let's see... what else, oh once when I was 10 my Sunday school teacher took me back to his house. He taught me how to french kiss among other things...
Elke: He really took my boy under his wind. Very nice man.
Michael Alig: His mother caught us in the basement. She screamed, "I told you not to bring them here." He said, "Don't you'll frighten them away!"
James: That's better than a ten-inch dick and you know it!
Michael Alig: Oh typical James. Can't even stay awake for your own movie. But it's not your movie, it's really my movie. Hi. I'm Michael Alig.
The Rat: Remember me? Clara the Chicken... and Terisius the Rat!
Michael Alig: [catches James and Keoki doing drugs] You pathetic, drug addict losers!
James: Michael, I am not addicted to drugs. I am addicted to glamour.
Michael Alig: You! James Clark, you should be ashamed of yourself!
James: How dare you use my real name. And Michael, your champagne. Oh correction, your sparkling wine tastes like piss!
Michael Alig: [to Peter] So where was I? Oh yeah, so we'll put James in a cage and hang a sign over it that says "do not feed the drug child." It will transform Limelight and New York nightlife forever and it will be more outrageous than anything before. New stars, no rules, anything goes. Everyone will want to come.
Peter Gatien: Michael, aren't you listening to anything I've said?
Michael Alig: Prison isn't all that different from a nightclub. Everything's for free and I don't have to get out of bed in the morning and I can get all the drugs and sex I want.
Michael Alig: I'm getting away with murder and you're just jealous.
James: That's all you really need to know. That and don't dream it, be it.
James: Because you're trying to turn this into an after school special. Because you wanna get the last word and you want this to end with everyone liking you and it's my movie! I can't let it end that way.
Michael Alig: You always kept our pact. This is where I need to be.
James: I know what you're trying to do and it's not going to work! Goodbye Michael Alig.
Michael Alig: [to James St James] I want you to teach me how to be fabulous.
James: Today I've come up with the perfect sentence. The rhythm, the syntax, the dipthongs, the dissidence
[clears throat]
James: Last night, I dreamt of Glocca Morra... again.
[pause]
James: It's really a shame you can't publish a sentence. I'm convinced it would be a best-seller.
James: Testing one, two. Testing. Testosterone, testicular cancer, Tess of the d'Urbervilles.
James: [to Keoki] If you are going to be a superstar DJ, there are three simple rules you need to remember: Number One: You can always rely the Studio 54 compilation set. They're premixed! They last for hours. And Number Two: Madonna. Always works. And Number Three: When all else fails, play techno! It's nondescript, nonrecognizable, and everyone will think you're *so* cutting edge.
James: [laughs] There isn't enough love in the whole wide world to satisfy you.
Michael Alig: Look James, this is going to be more than a club. It will be like a home, for everyone who ever felt like a freak, for everyone who was ever beat on or spat on in highschool, for everyone who felt different. It will be like the factory and i'll be the next Andy Warhol.
James: Ok. Earth to you : Andy Warhol is still alive and well.
Michael Alig: Wait, don't go! Do you want a cocktail? Here, I have drink tickets.
James: [laughing sarcastically] Drink tickets? You obviously couldn't even organize a glass of water!
Michael Alig: It's not me that's tired. It's your club. No one wants to come here.
Peter Gatien: [hands Michael an envelope] That's a statement. The damage done to the club will be reimbursed from your earnings from this party and the next two parties that you throw.
Michael Alig: It's a kitty! Aw, it's our lovechild. We'll call him Skrinkle.
James: [voice over] As you dry your eyes, let me just say this about that. Skrinkle was just the beginning. Skrinkle begat Skroddle and Skrinkle and Skroddle were the Lego blocks of a strange new world he was building for us all. You were either a Skrink or a Skrod. I was a Skrinklada if I was good or a stupid Skrod lover if I was bad. Somehow, his dopey language caught on like his stupid parties.
Michael Alig: Oh please, the best superstar is a dead superstar.
Michael Alig: [laughing] It was so nice being dead. Oh my God. I just had a great idea. The emergency room. We'll all get dressed up like nurses and doctors and give out prescriptions for free drugs and Keoki will DJ and you can be a serial killer nurse with an enema!