Museum of the Dead

again such kind of zero-budget digital-video cam trash. and again I fell into this trap cuz the title had "zombie" in it (german title: ZOMBIE ATTACK!) the story: on halloween some people visit the "museum of the dead", it's a trap, a crazy doctor wants to kill the people, everything connected to some aztec-cult. so they fight against some zombies in there.

ultra cheap scenery: some corridors with black tape on it. a few dilettantish drawings and a few skulls as you can find them in every fun-shop. no actors, just low-grade models waking around with absolutely no idea what to do. no effects. laughable make-up, your local hobby-make-up-zombie-fan will do it better, some time it looked as if they had not enough money for enough colour, otherwise they just could not do it like this, man, they have to realize the looks of their "zombies". some laughable martial-arts fights with the zombies, slow-motion. just, when the director wants to have it scary he uses some standard digital-video-cam effect where everything is flackering. unbelievable! 0 out of 10!

Plot: None. Script: A string of cliches. Acting: Not in evidence. Special effects: Title sequence kind of cool, but otherwise exceptionally poor. Fright factor: Crossing the road is scarier. Cult factor: Only the most desperate cult would latch onto this dog. Can't you say anything positive: I did. The titles were kind of cool.

(Special bonus question ... your idea of hell: Being at a party with people who voted this flop a 7.)

well,there isnt much to say about this movie. its simply trash. very poor acting, poor script, and lame story.... well, the actress,(i odnt even know her name) who played mainrole,(not the blond one,but latina one) was acting fine,but the blond one who played the friend of main charactor,,,her acting level is just like highschool play,so as most of other actors in the movie. Also,zombies,,,,very bad acting as well. and,,the story itself has really no point at all. well, if you are really bored and really got nothing to do,but wanna kill time somehow, maybe you may wanna watch this movie,but eventho,there are still millions of better B movies than this crap. its total waste of money and time.

A study in BAD. Bad direction, bad acting, bad writing and f/x that´ll teach you that you´d better upgrade your computer before filming. It´s the kind of flick you used to do totally drunk in your cellar with Dad´s camera when you were young at heart. But YOU certainly would not show it in public when you´re sober again, would you? YOU wouldn´t even view it. Avoid at all costs.

According to the DVD cover, Museum of the Dead is 'from the producer of Creepshow', who I imagined must have fallen on really hard times to be involved in such obviously amateurish crud. A little post-viewing investigation, however, soon revealed the truth: this execrable excuse for a horror movie isn't from the people who produced the 1982 George Romero classic, but rather the abysmal abortion of a movie that was Creepshow III—and anyone who has had the misfortune of seeing that garbage will know exactly what level of professionalism this means.

Hard as it might be to imagine, Museum of the Dead, directed by James Glenn Dudelson (a name I won't forget in a hurry) is actually worse than Creepshow III, a joyless, scare-free effort boasting the ugliest opening credits ever, terrible editing (used in a desperate attempt to disguise the woeful nature of the practical effects and pitiful action), dreadful performances from a cast of complete nobodies, terrible set design, and thoroughly unconvincing props (plastic joke shop skulls; a magical bracelet that looks like it came from Claire's Accessories; supposedly ancient murals that are as vibrant as the day they were painted—which was most likely the day before shooting).

As far as the action is concerned, anyone brave or stupid enough to pop this worthless sucker into their player will be confronted by the following mind numbingly inane content: endless shots of star Tanya Vidal running through drab corridors (I use the plural, but I suspect that there was really only the one corridor, shot from a variety of angles) which becomes extremely tiresome even though she's wearing a tight vest that accentuates her fine rack; a series of repetitive attacks by crap zombies played by a bunch of losers who can't even shuffle their feet convincingly; and sporadic encounters with a pair of spear-carrying female warriors and a cannibalistic bald dude with blue teeth whose appearance always coincides with a nauseatingly cheap and nasty video effect.

With all of that going on, Museum of the Dead has definitely earned itself a place in my top twenty list of worst horrors, and given how much rubbish I've watched over the years, that's quite the achievement.