- Sally Finney: Brick wall, waterfall, Dickie thinks he got it all but he don't, and I do so Boom with that attitude. Peace punch, Capt'n Crunch, I've got something you can't touch. Bang-bang choo-choo train, wind me up I do my thing. No Reeses Pieces, 7-Up, you mess with me, I'll mess you up.
- [Acting as a 6-year-old, finding a new bike on Christmas morning]
- Dickie Roberts: Holy shit, a bike!
- Rob Reiner: You're six.
- Dickie Roberts: Holy crap, a bike!
- Rob Reiner: You're six.
- Dickie Roberts: Goo-goo, ga-ga, bikey!
- Rob Reiner: Too far back.
- Dickie Roberts: Good night, prudes. Go have your G rated dreams. Prude filled dreams. Dream the dream of prudes. Prude...
- Sam Finney: Go to sleep Dickie!
- Mrs. Gertrude: Aren't you a bit big to be in a stroller?
- Dickie Roberts: Aren't you bit big to be on the sidewalk?
- [Brendan Fraser is laughing]
- Brendan Fraser: I'm telling this story to everybody! That's gotta be the dumbest thing I've ever witnessed!
- Dickie Roberts: Maybe it was. But listen, what are you doing in a lamaze class anyways? Is your wife pregnant?
- Brendan Fraser: Yes, my wife is pregnant. Here she is. Have you two met?
- Dickie Roberts: Uh, no.
- Afton Smith: Actually, we have. Three years ago you hit on me. Then I shot you down. Then you stole my number from a friend.
- [Dickie has a confused look on his face]
- Brendan Fraser: You know that we've been married more than three years, right?
- Dickie Roberts: [Dickie was about to answer Brendan Fraser's question, then Afton Smith continues on with her story]
- Afton Smith: Then you drunk dialed me like thirty times trying to hook up with me like I was some kind of booty call.
- Dickie Roberts: Yes. Right. What's up?
- Afton Smith: Anyway, I have to pee. Nice to see you.
- Dickie Roberts: Yes, good to see you again.
- [Dickie acts embarrassed]
- Dickie Roberts: Anyway, Brendan, I'm a big fan...
- Brendan Fraser: And you think that you can score if I got you an audition for "Mr. Blake's Backyard."
- Dickie Roberts: Oh my god! Of course!
- Brendan Fraser: I'll make that phone call for you, is it Rob Reiner?
- Dickie Roberts: Oh my God! I love Brendan Frazier!
- Brendan Fraser: Fraser!
- Dickie Roberts: It is Fraser. It's Fraser. Why do people say...
- Grace Finney: [Grace is pushing Dickie down the sidewalk in a stroller]
- Grace Finney: This feels a little odd.
- Dickie Roberts: Dude, I'm the one in the stroller.
- Grace Finney: Did you just call me, dude?
- Dickie Roberts: I mean mommy.
- Barry Williams: I bet you a thousand dollars... no, make that a hundred dollars and the actual football we used to hit Marcia with in the whole "My nose, My nose" episode, that Brendan Frasier never calls.
- [Dickie's phone rings]
- Dickie Roberts: Hold on.
- [answers phone]
- Dickie Roberts: Go for Dickie.
- [everyone else laughs]
- Dickie Roberts: Brendan? Yes, of course I can meet Rob Reiner tomorrow!
- Dickie Roberts: [laughs and points at Barry Williams, who glares at him]
- Dickie Roberts: When I was your age, I did whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.
- Sally Finney: See, that might be why you're such a mess now.
- Dickie Roberts: Oh. How dare you!
- Sally Finney: Dickie, you promised to help me with my pep squad tryouts.
- Dickie Roberts: Oh, I will. That pep squad spot's got your name all over it. Did I ever tell you I was a backup dancer for Vanilla Ice?
- Sam Finney: [laughs] No way!
- Dickie Roberts: Oh, yeah, I owe him a call.
- Dickie Roberts: [to a bully picking on Sam] Is that red hair, or did someone light a fart off your mouth?
- Sidney Wernick: I may have to go to the bathroom every 45 minutes, but at least I get to pee in a gold toilet.
- Dickie Roberts: You know who else I don't get? Vin Diesel. I mean, is he good looking? Is he Chinese, or what? I mean, I don't know...
- Leif Garrett: That's so horrible, man. Geez, you're such a dick. Besides, he would kick your ass.
- Girl: [two girls spot Leif Garrett and Dickie talking on the sidewalk] Oh, my God! You're Leif Garrett! I used to have such a crush on you!
- Girl: Can I have your autograph?
- Dickie Roberts: You want my autograph too? Dickie Roberts.
- Girl: No, I'm fine.
- Dickie Roberts: How about if I put it on a $5 bill?
- Girl: Make it a 20?
- Dickie Roberts: [while talking to an overweight woman] What? Cat got your tongue or did you eat that for breakfast too?
- Dustin Diamond, Corey Feldman, Barry Williams: Brick wall, waterfall, Danny thinks he's got it all. But he don't, and we do, so boom with that attitude or Reese's Pieces, Seven-Up, mess with us, we'll mess you up!
- Sally Finney: Cut! That was *so* good!
- [turns around and whispers]
- Sally Finney: They're driving me *crazy*!
- Dickie Roberts: That's a great idea! Not only is she sexy she's a smart Mommy!
- Grace Finney: Why did that compliment almost make me puke?
- Dickie Roberts: Whoa! You ever have such a bad wipeout you don't even feel it?
- [falls]
- Sam Finney: That wasn't one of them!
- Sally Finney: [both looking outside at treehouse] I wonder what he's doing up there.
- Sam Finney: Who cares, just as long as Stranger Danger's out of our house.
- Sally Finney: But still.
- Sam Finney: Yeah. It actually looks pretty cool. Is that a disco ball?
- Dickie Roberts: [inside treehouse] Woo!
- Sally Finney: Seem, maybe we should peek our heads in.
- Dickie Roberts: [after seeing bump on receptionist's head] Yikes!... I mean, not yikes. I mean what bump?
- Dickie Roberts: [After singing the wrong words for a song on the radio] Changing the words, not the vibe.
- Grace Finney: Wow, sift through that to find the nugget of compliment.
- Dickie Roberts: Sift away sifty.