Shark Attack III

Shark Attack 3 is truly an awful movie, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't grab some friends and popcorn and spend your evening watching it. It is so awful, the acting so campy, the special effects so cheesy, the dialog so terrible and the plot so contrived from Jaws that this movie is a must see. The sharks are nothing more than stock footage (and how does stock footage eat people? you ask...oh, you'll see!), the Mexican actors are, in actuality, Russian/Bulgarian, and there are some truly unforgettable scenes. Not to mention a rather dirty pick-up line...

I've seen some bad movies in my day, but I must admit that Shark Attack 3 truly takes the cake. Go check it out yourself. (But avoid Shark Attacks 1 and 2, they're reportedly decent.)

PS I changed the ten to a one since a lot of SA3 'fans' want it in the Bottom 100. I agree.

When I first watched the movie, I recognized a lot of footage from underwater documentaries (the producers should check copywright details with the estate of cmdr. Cousteau & others). The first half of the movie was no more than a lame excuse to show naked women and people being eaten. If you look close you can actually see a lot of editing mistakes. PS. sharks do not roar like some kind of mutated dog in the water !!!

When the director tries to create the feeling that the shark is swimming at a tremendous depth, you can see the surface in the background. The same goes vice versa.

In the second half there are different sharks taking on the role of the lead character. The actual megalodon is displayed as a 30's monster that eats everything in its path. A shark (even a Megalodon), would never eat a full size motorboat or jetski, try passing such a thing true your intestine...?. And why, were people jumping in the water when there is a shark attacking your boat? Why .... you should check it out yourself, you'll find lots of fun things to discuss.

I watched this film a couple of nights ago and found it positively hysterical. It feels like either a really good spoof of Jaws (and lets face it, how many good spoofs do we get nowadays?) or a completely awful rip off of Jaws. From the very first scene with the cigar-chomping incomprehensible sailor guy to the magical size changing shark I was rolling around on the floor laughing. There are actors who look like they are laughing when they are supposed to be crying, there are random bikini girls who strut by during most of the talking scenes, and I haven't even started on the gems in the script (I won't spoil any of it, but it's safe to say: If you know anyone who talks like this in day to day life, please slap them). You have to see this movie.

While it's difficult to find anything useful to add to the many insighful reviews of this "movie," there is at least one performance I think deserves special mention. Shark Attack 3: Megalodon offers one of the best examples of "method acting" I've ever seen. Leading man John Barrowman so immerses himself in his character that his single-minded approach dominates every scene. Unfortunately, the character he assumes for this movie was not that of Ben the glorified lifeguard who appears in the script, but the character of Tom Cruise playing Ben the lifeguard. In almost every shot, Barrowman can be seen ripping off a Cruise smile, a Cruise laugh, a Cruise pose, a Cruise expression, a Cruise anything he can get his hands on. And all this is completely independent of whatever Ben the Lifeguard is supposed to be doing in the scene other than being a Tom Cruise impersonator. I've seen some other actors attempt similar feats (Skeet Ulrich as Johnny Depp comes to mind), but none has taken on this particular role with such scrupulous dedication and total disregard of its effect on the actual movie.

I really don't think I've ever seen a film that was worse than this one. At the piece of dialogue that is commonly referred to as 'THE LINE' I actually HAD to call my friend with whom I've seen lots of movies lately. I told him what the movie was about and we watched the finale 'together', him on the phone, me doing the live reporting from behind the screen. Laughing out loud almost all the time.

I don't think there's a single one of this films atrocities left that hasn't already been commented on, but it really keeps you roaring with laughter the whole 90 minutes. Oh... maybe there is something I didn't hear anybody rant about. The marlin footage. Was that seventies? Sixties maybe? Was it even in color? And really... What was that guy having sex for? And did I really pick up the suggestion that that woman was his fathers (?) wife???