Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

Cheerfully cheap and good naturedly blasphemous, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is blessed with a once in a lifetime title which makes it irresistible. It is also the first feature-length film by Lee Demarbre, a Canadian director and stars his favourite actor-friend: Phil Caracas, the lead of the director's previous two shorter works, based around the character 'Harry Knuckles'. Caracas has since appeared in a more diffuse second feature by Demarbre, the cunningly named Harry Knuckles And The Pearl Necklace (2004), and presumably will also be seen in his upcoming 'Black Kissinger'.

Described as a "kung-fu action / comedy / horror / musical about the second coming" Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter delivers in varying degrees on all these points, with the good Lord punching out, and then staking out, vampires, this while making with biblical wit, coping with gory attacks from body parts as well as finding time for the odd musical number. The film starts with a rising babble of voices, "Are you there, God? Give me a sign! Let me know you care!" - to which the following narrative provides a playful answer: yes He is there, out drop kicking evil doers, in holy robes, socks and trainers on the dangerous streets of Ottawa. Not before an intro from a bearded prophet though, (unnamed but with echoes of John The Baptist) who draws our attention to the significance of what we will shortly behold, an attempt to fill "the empty house of the soul." Exactly what the prophet has in mind by way of further enlightenment is vague, but without further ado we are plunged into the first vampire attack. In modern times vampires have come on apace since their more traditional forebears, and can now venture out in the daylight. Just as important is the fact that, in this film at least, they only seek out fellow lesbians.

Naturally, this scourge alarms the church, and two clerics are dispatched to fetch the only man who can save the situation - Jesus Christ, found in characteristic baptismal pose at the seashore. Shortly after the Lord offers them refreshment in an exchange recalling loaves and fishes ("Lemonade?" / "Will there be enough?" / "Oh there will be plenty"), lesbian vampires attack them. A first bout of kung fu ensues and Jesus duly shows his mettle. After this temporary setback, and to a books-of-the-Bible countdown, the Lord promptly climbs aboard his scooter and heads back to the city for a haircut, ear piercing, change of clothes and to challenge the forces of evil. Soon he sings a song, in echo of the original entry into Jerusalem (here on a skateboard), encounters his first helper - the curvaceous Mary Magnum, and hears the voice of God speaking from a bowl of cherry ice cream...

Filmed an a minuscule budget, and designed as a gentle parody rather than anything more offensive, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter largely succeeds because of the brisk editing, novelty of conception and the unpretentious involvement of all concerned. No one will pretend that the acting is anything but than rudimentary or that action scenes are not roughly choreographed. But the fun is the thing. Evil in Ottawa eventually takes many forms, including bloody criminal mastermind Johnny Golgotha, the dreaded 'kung-fu atheists' and bars full of vampires - variables dictated one suspects by the pool of talent on hand during any given day. Demarbre has a weakness for martial arts and in themselves Jesus' fights, being just that little bit slow and off the mark, are amusing spoofs of more sophisticated action films. With this challenge in mind, perhaps sensing that the Lord needs some support in the second half, writer-director Demarbre has Christ call on an ally, the famous Mexican wrestling legend Santo (well, okay, not the real celebrity, just a fat guy in a mask). One standout scene features the two, battling vampires in the aptly named Dominion bar. Taking place just after a less than inspirational performance by entertainer Blind Johnny Leper, this battle utilises such disparate items as crutches, billiard cues, and even cocktail sticks as stakes necessary to finish the job.

Foes eventually defeated, Jesus of course confirms matters with a sermon, that "it's the message that's the point, not the messenger" and indeed this salient point might well underline much of the film's success. That one doesn't need an officially approved Christ to make moral points about coping with evil... or, come to that, a hundred million dollars and CGI to make an entertaining movie. (See also: UltraChrist if you liked this one)

This certainly was a B movie, you can tell that the budget was very small. It is quite surprising what they managed to accomplish with so little. I find it ironic that many of the blockbuster Hollywood pushes out these days are almost unwatchable despite huge multi million dollar budgets. I would say that before watching this movie I probably couldn't have named a B movie, but I'm glad I saw this one. The special effects and fighting are pretty terrible but, that gives it a lot of it's charm and makes for a really funny watch. I guess it could depend on your sense of humor but, I thought it was a really funny movie, well worth watching at least once.

One cannot expect a serious film with a title like "Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter", but even when this low-budget b-movie delivers nothing but laughs, it still has an interesting point and an important message behind its blasphemous wackiness. It is definitely a comedy that replaces budget with brains and successfully transcends its own limitations delivering great entertainment.

The plot is certainly as bizarre as its title: the lesbians of Ottawa are the victims of the increasing population of vampires that seems to be focusing only in them. A group of young Catholic priests become aware of this and have asked the Catholic church for help, but the church doesn't want to help them because it doesn't want to get involved with homosexuals. The priests call their last resource, Jesus Christ (Phil Caracas) himself, who decides to come back to the world to help the lesbians and to prove that homosexuals should not be ignored by the Church.

The movie is a weird mix of good slapstick and well-written irreverent comedy, as it is probably the only movie where Jesus sings, smashes atheists with Kung-Fu moves and receives the aid of Mexican wrestler "Santo" (named "Santos" and played by Jeff Moffet). Independent filmmaker Lee Demarbre and writer Ian Driscoll create a wacky ride of action, horror and comedy in a charming way that one can't help but love their take on Jesus.

Phil Caracas is superb in the role of the messiah and carries the film over his shoulders with grace. His performance is very good, and even when his character has to use modern clothes, he still makes a believable Jesus. Caracas definitely has a bright future as a comedian. Maria Moulton plays Mary Magnum, an agent who is decided to help Jesus in his fight against the vampires. She probably is the best of the cast and her character is not only pretty, but also probably a very meaningful one. Jeff Moffet as Santo is very funny and while his portrayal of the legendary wrestler is a humorous one, it serves to prove the influence of Santo in horror films.

Probably many will be offended by this movie, however, the movie stays true to real Jesus' message of peace, love and understanding. It is an intelligent critic to the homophobic attitude of the Christian religion (specially the Catholic branch) with clever references to the biblical stories and a healthy dose of good humor.

The budget constrains really hurt the film but it is admirable how far the crew went despite their limitations. With a clever use of edition barely manages to "cover" the low-budget problems but still, those problems just add charm to the whole image of "Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter". While the film is by no means perfect, it is a very good effort by these filmmakers.

"Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter" may not be attractive for those expecting well-done acting and effects, but it will please the crowd eager for independent films with more heart than budget. Hopefully in the future the crew behind this small indie masterpiece will receive enough support to create bigger and better films than this. 7/10. Very Recommended.

Jesus returns to fight an army of lesbian vampires, atheists, and mad doctor and a confused white guy. Helping him are Mary Magnum and El Santos, the Saint of the Wrestling ring. A mix of funny characters and ridiculous fight scenes make this one of the coolest movies on the planet. If your into weird, sacrilegious humor, this movie is for you!

Low budget doesn't have to mean tacky. This is obviously a "B" movie in everything you see, but it has a certain charm. Sometimes, it is a musical, but it certainly isn't Jesus Christ Superstar. Sometimes, it is a Kung Fu movie, but it's nothing like Jet Li.

I was hoping that Jesus would get it on with Mary Magnum, looking as hot as Cat-woman in her red latex, and maybe give some credence to The Da Vinci Code, but no luck.

Jesus was too busy stopping the harvest of lesbians by the evil vampires. Of course, he was pathetic until he enlisted the help of Nacho Libre, well, really Santo Enmascarado de Plata. But, even then things got a little tight before it was all over.

Irreverent dialog makes for one crazy movie.