Project Viper

The start isn't bad, but after the end you will find that this film has only two good things to offer: Theresa Russel and the musical score, (that is clearly cloned from the music of the memorable Ridley Scott's "Alien"). The remaining is the usual dull stuff. I found annoying the male protagonist that, in a story supposed to be serious, is acting like he was in a James Bond movie, with the difference that here the jokes appear to be really misplaced.

A movie to watch with an eye only, while you are doing something else.

4/10

Viper is a man-made monster bred by some evil government agency, which is engaged in sinister covert operations etc., etc., you know the drill. Needless to say, the creature gets loose and starts feeding on people, starting with the ones who have few or no speaking lines, later going after credited cast members.

Patrick Muldoon as a government cop who beats up a lot of dudes, is one of the most annoying actors I've ever seen. I was rooting for Viper to hunt him down and shut him up. A scientist, played by pretty Teresa Russel, tries to help the obnoxious cop catch the thing before it eats everybody. She at least tries to act, but her lines are scatterbrained and more like a teen in a zombie flick, rather than a scientist.

The plot is deranged. The actions of the creature follow no consistent pattern; it does what is needed in any given situation. Sometimes it oozes on to its victim, killing slowly and discreetly, other times it smashes things down to get to its prey. Sometimes it chases people, other times it magically appears out of the ground and seizes them. Sometimes it's looking for water to survive, other times it's trying to sniff out radiation for its sustenance. Sometimes bullets hurt it, some time they don't. Some times it feels like a nut, sometimes it don't.

Corny and ridiculous from end to end, but possessing a so-bad-it's-good personality. It actually is an OK watch, just for the non-stop goofiness and action.

Haha, I remember watching this movie not once but twice. Okay, with a considerable amount of time in between, I admit. I might be a fan of Jim Wynorski, it's not like I'm going to allow him frying my brain by watching his movies over and over again. And no, I'm not nuts for rating this 5/10. Just keep in mind that these are Wynorski-ratings and not average movie ratings. But still, this is more or less one of his better accomplished efforts. Believe me, he can do a lot worse. A whole lot worse. The opening-credits (especially the musical score) even seem to promise that you just might be entering the latest cash-in on "Alien" or something. Really, I kid you not! Decent score that echoes Jerry Goldsmith's work for Ridley Scott's film. Fancy outer-space effects. But as soon as the interior shots of the space-shuttle come on and the, uhm, actors do their thing, then you know you just entered Wynorski-territory. The creature itself looks like a gray CGI-blob with snappy teeth, tentacles and morphing skills. Pretty uninspired, I'd say. But still, the effects, and the whole movie for that matter, looked pretty much okay (once again: don't forget that this still is a Wynorski-flick). Tim Thomerson is fun as always. Patrick Muldoon isn't even trying, not by a long shot. And Theresa Russell... well, I like the lady, so not a bad word about her please. But what the hell was she doing in this movie? Oh, well, I'll forgive her, as always. And I'll probably even watch "Project Viper" again, some day, because of her being in it. Theresa Russel makes me watch bad movies. Just like Rutger Hauer does. Like I said, I forgive both of them for this.

A nasty security agent (Patrick Muldoon) and a sexy scientist from NASA (can you imagine Theresa Russell as a scientist?) try to find out what happened to a creature generated from human DNA and chip and raised in Mars that eats human flesh. This is an average and full of clichés action/ sci-fi movie, with some reasonable special effects. Theresa Russell as a fatal woman, whore, or detective character is acceptable, but as a NASA scientist seems to be too much for me. Forgettable and recommended only for a rainy day without any other option. My vote is five.

I don't remember much of this movie, since I was watching it on vacation in Greece at like 3:00 in the morning. The fact that I couldn't bring myself to finish it even though it was the only English-language program on should tell you a lot right there. I do remember a lot of shockingly bad camera-work, editing, and acting... camera-work especially. It honestly looks like they gave the camera to a 6 year old and told him to follow the adults around. I remember in particular a chase scene through a hallway where the camera-work is so bad the characters aren't even in the frame half the time (this same chase scene, incidentally, is a good example of the awfulness of the plot, since it's started when a lady walks right up in plain view of a guy she's trying to spy on, then defends herself by saying she was "going for a walk." Hmm, yeah, I spend a lot of time going for walks in my living room too).

If the choreography isn't bad enough for you, there's also the lighting coming from bizarre angles in places where there shouldn't be any light, the cartoon CGI tentacles that pass for a monster, etc. As a movie, it's really boring, but it's a great example of not NOT to direct. If you are an aspiring director and want to improve, my advice is watch this movie. You could sit there for hours and take notes of what the director is doing wrong.

You could use the same technique to brush up on your acting skills. The actors here are vomit-inducingly awful. All of them just seem bored (understandably), even when something bad is supposedly happening to them, like tentacles going into their mouths and coming out their stomachs (by the way, user Billy Lovelady's comment about "tentacle hentai" is one of the funniest things I've ever read. Thank you, sir). Some of them are also plain weird, like the crazy hick neighbor and the sheriff who looks like Freddie Mercury at age 70.

Unless you're using this for study as I've suggested, avoid it at all costs. It's mindless and boring. There are millions of better things to do than watch this movie, such as looking out the window, which is what I did for the next hour after I turned it off. It was a hell of a lot more productive than waiting to see who killed the Viper.