Evil Breed: The Legend of Samhain

Understand i'm reviewing the film I have seen. I realize virtually all the nudity and gore was cut from this film, thus neutering it completely. When seeing names like Ginger Lynn and Jenna Jameson attached, I knew I wasn't going to get a horror classic, but at the very least I expected gratuitous boobies and bloodshed. But no, this has got to be the most butchered modern horror film, I mean it's easy to tell there is much more to certain scenes', but they suddenly cut away, or the scene just totally ends right as it begins. How does one screw up cannibals' and porn stars? I mean thats a winning formula, it makes me wonder if the director slept with some executive's wife or something, because it is literally amazing how much got cut from this. Reading about it a few years back in Fangoria, I was excited, it looked like a fun film, but unfortunately the true film is locked in a vault somewhere, and we must endure this piece of excrement retitled Evil Breed. Hopefully an unrated cut will be released someday, as I think a good movie exists in this mess, but until then best grab a twelve pack of Bud, cause thats the only way you'll make it through this movie.

Two teachers (Bobbie Phillips and Howard Rosenstein) chaperon a school trip to Ireland so five students can study the history of Druids or some such nonsense. A forest-dwelling mutant shows up to kill them all off. The director of this cheap-looking and disposable hunk-o-junk claims the film was ruined by studio tampering, unwanted script rewrites and such, so I'm tempted to cut him a little slack because these things are known to happen. As the film now stands, it's close to being unwatchable.

Truly terrible in every regard; barely (just barely) kept afloat by ample doses of gore and T&A. The acting is some of the worst I've ever seen. Literally everyone in the cast is embarrassing. I don't think that has anything to do with tampering, just a combination of amateur actors, a director that doesn't know how to work with them and awkward dialogue that's impossible to say without coming off like a total tool. Richard Grieco, who looks like he's had either one face-lift too many or too much botox pumped into his face and is starting to look rather inhuman these days, is falsely advertised as being one of the leads when his part is minuscule. The other names in the cast you'll probably only be familiar with if you're an avid porn viewer. Jenna Jameson pops up for a couple of minutes to say a few lines and die. Ginger Lynn has more screen time and delivers one of the worst Irish accents known to man. Not that the guy cast alongside her, whose overacting is unintentionally hilarious, is any better. There are a few other adult actresses on the payroll but their screen time is even smaller than Jennas.

Even worse than the acting is the writing. The storyline is muddled as hell and incomprehensible, the editing is choppy, characters disappear right and left for no reason whatsoever and it is overloaded with annoying, childish and lame post-SCREAM hipster dialogue about how big breasted women always die in horror films and such. Even the friggin theme song at the beginning is screwed up! The vocalist actually MISPRONOUNCES the word "Samhain;" pronouncing it exactly how it's spelling instead of "Sow-en!" For the love of God, do some research people! Some of the gore effects are decent, but you have to be very forgiving of complete technical ineptitude to tolerate this mess.

Oh, this is so bad, it is funny. The only way one could explain something like this is a porn party with drugs that resulted in the resolution to make a movie just for fun. I mean: you get to see porn actresses topless, having sex, then killed by human mutants. There is plenty of gore, including the classic "something is wrong with her, oh no, it's half the person she used to be" and the accidental murder caused by panic. But you can also find funny stuff like intestines pulled through someone's ass and a guy running in the woods then finding himself decapitated by a wire tied between two trees (that makes a metallic doiiing sound afterward, like in cartoons). Somehow there is a market for people going beyond porn, they really need to know what's inside an actress, mere genitals are not enough. Therefore you get to see plenty of summary autopsies on slain bimbos. There is NO dialog. Jenna and Chasey have really small parts and I really wonder what Richard Grieco wanted when accepting a role here. I think this is a film one must watch with the button on fast forward and watch only the juicy stuff, just to be reminded of the old school C class horror movies.

Rented a batch of films from Blockbuster last night, and this was the first one I watched (it was late on a Saturday night, wanted a "horror film fix")...

Wow, this was awful, almost embarrassingly so... Stupid slasher-type story I really thought films like Scream had put an end to; amateur actors delivering clichéd' and insipid dialogue that is hard to believe was actually typed and read off a page; and gore scenes that are nothing to get excited about (especially when occurring in a film this poorly scripted).

But I've always believed no film is 100% percent totally worthless. Here's the few good things I can say about this mess:

#1 Bobbie Phillips: love this actress. She's the only member of the cast who displays any acting talent whatsoever. The only reason I took a chance on renting this is because her name was on the front cover. She acquits her presence in this dreck with professionalism, even though she looks bemused at times that she's acting in such a moronic story.

#2 Unintentional Hilarity: This is the kind of film I can remember seeing back when there were still grind house theaters around the country and they used to include crap like this as the third movie on a triple-bill with some prestige thriller movie that was finally making it's way to the hinterlands. Unfortunately, in this direct-to-video age, most viewers have to endure these turkeys alone now without the communal experience of being part of an audience jeering and throwing stuff at the screen because the film is so terrible. Which leads to--

#3 Porn Stars Trying To Act!: Mostly on hand because the producers don't need to cajole or plead with them to disrobe for extended sex scenes, but this trade-off usually means they actually get to speak some lines that are supposed to advance a story (other than "ooh yeah baby", or "harder!"). And, proudly, they all deliver expertly at looking foolish when trying to act. I'd almost exclude Ginger Lynn Allen from this group if her character wasn't supposed to be an Irish mom and she's actually attempting at times to do an accent, which just keeps the smiles coming.

It's nice to look for the positive in all experiences, and that's what I took from this cesspool a.k.a "Evil Breed"

please don't rent or even think about buying this movie.they don't even have it available at the red box to rent which would cost a $1 & i think its worth less than that.the main reason why i rented this d movie was because Jenna Jameson is in the movie lol between 2-5 min.i will give credit that the movie had hot chicks and quite a bit of nudity but other than that you might as well buy another d horror movie that has the same thing with nobody you know.Ginger Lynn has more acting time in this movie than Jenna & she's not even on the front cover of the movie nor her name.i recommend people to watch zombie strippers because you see Jenna almost throughout the whole movie & nude most of the time.this movie is a big disappointment & such a huge waste of time.