Les acteurs

I like Dylan Moran from his work in Black Books, although I found some of his stand-up to be really indulgent in terms of long confused gaps... however I was intrigued to see this film starring he and Michael Caine and curiosity got the better of me.

I was stunned.

Dylan's vocal range and characterisation of the different people he was playing in the film was absolutely perfect, something beyond the skills of a mere stand-up comedian and really truly on a par with alec guinness, john hurt and the other greats- truly he was skilled in his portrayal.

Michael Caine was a very convincing prima donna and the standard british film device of having a precocious child on hand to be overly wise and withering worked- the only aspect I didn't really like was the unbelieveable plot feature of the chemistry between Dolores and the cockney gangsta's hard man played by Dylan.

Other than that, it was great.

I also like the non-cop-out ending where it did end up happily ever after, but with MC getting a beating. OK, it's not exactly being strung up by your goolies and beijng disembowelled (which is what a real crime boss would do to you if you nicked £50k off them) but it showed at least a small measure of reality in the story.

I liked the film, and I would recommend it to anyone- but- I would also warn them not to turn it off after 15 minutes because it started a bit slow. If you stick it out, then it will all come back.

And with regards to the swearing- well, they're in Ireland. It wouldn't be real otherwise.

A ham actor without a penny. Who better than Michael Caine to play such a character? He is totally and utterly hilarious but, as in most of Caine's performances, he goes for it for real. The film seems to be a showcase of Dylan Moran and he's splendiferous in his double act with Caine. This, however, is where the script falters. Moran's impersonations should have been incorporated in a rather more organic way. They are too much of an act on their own and makes the potential plausibility of the plot fly out of the window. Never mind. Get it if you can find it. There is enough in it to make it a pleasurable journey.

Strange effort part funded by the now-defunct FilmFour and DreamWorks amongst others, supported by the Irish film board. Basically two actors trying to act their way out of trouble.

Let's start with the good news. Child actress, very good, convincing. Lena Headey as Dolores, stunning, smouldering, good performance, I'll come back to her in a moment. Dylan Moran as Tom, good enough. Michael Caine as fading actor O'Malley, quite good, believable. Michael Gambon as Barreller, mostly quite good though sometimes he did look a bit too much like, well, Michael Gambon. Plot a bit perfunctory, Tom (at O'Malley's suggestion) pretends to be someone who Barreller owes money to and collects it instead. Things then start going wrong.

So what's the problem?

Though there are laughs along the way, some of it I found too horribly embarassing to watch, and at one point even to listen to (I put my fingers in my ears for a minute or two). It does have a romantic sub-plot, but it isn't central enough to call this a romantic film. I should also say that some of the material involving Dolores, towards the end, is dodgey for 15 year olds, and this should really be considered X-rated. In the states it's a 17-cert (R rating) not a 15 as in the UK.

I liked the throwaway ending, but though I wanted to enjoy the film, really I did, too much of it was neither funny nor entertaining. Sorry but it didn't do it for me, in spite of favourable external reviews.

Sadly the whole here is not greater than the sum of the parts - and heaven only knows there are enough parts in this rather lacklustre theatrical-based comedy. Disillusioned thespian "Tony" (Sir Michael Caine) is treading the boards every evening playing the Nazi variation of Shakespeare's "Richard III" to an audience who were either doing a school project, or who just wanted to keep warm. One night he and one of his on-stage minions "Tom" (Dylan Moran) concoct a plan that could see them fleece a local gangster "Barreller" (Sir Michael Gambon) of a small fortune then play him and his felonious colleagues off one another long enough for them to escape with the loot. The basic idea is quite fun, but sadly only Sir Michael really turns up - and even then, his tongue is pretty firmly planted in his cheek. The rest of this is a pretty weak and contrived comedy poking fun at a load of things Irish and rarely raises much of a laugh. There is far too much dialogue and Moran, erstwhile a talented stand-up comic, looks uncomfortable and out of his depth amidst the more established cast which also, rather inexplicably, includes Miranda Richardson as well a few rent-a-cameos from others from the British comedy circuit. It's perfectly watchable for ninety minutes, it's not in the least offensive. Nor is it remotely memorable.

In following Dylan Moran's star from the charming misanthrope bookstore owner in the surrealist sitcom Black Books, I could see his comic potential begging to be utilised in theater or larger cinematic avenues. This first big screen outing in a starring role (he had a cameo as Rufus the thief in Notting Hill) had oodles of promise, but like the strained Steve Coogan vehicle, The Parole Officer, has too many creases which should have been ironed out in preproduction.

The plot is so convoluted that I shan't bother repeating the finer details (the script has every character do that for us), and the laughs are sourced from show business in-jokes. Michael Caine is a pompous has-been running a production of Richard III - updated to Nazi occupation (one of the few genuine laughs, a satirical jab at Ian McKellen), in which everyone is forever doing the Hitler salute every time they take the stage. Convincing Dylan that acting should be a conceptual act unto itself, the two plot to steal money from some fairly harmless gangsters by way of their acting prowess. Confusion ensues (both on screen and in the audience), there's a romantic sub-plot between Dylan and the daughter of one of the gangsters blah blah blah and Dylan gets to dress in odd clothes and do funny accents. Michael Caine delivers some choice lines, and Dylan's comic timing is on the money, so why isn't it any good? It does have a certain charm that you would expect from Film 4, but it also has a precocious little girl acting as compass in a muddled and irrelevant plot - a no-no in screen writing 101. Exposition overshadows everything else. You just want to see Moran and Caine acting as comic foil to each other the way the were at the beginning, but when they're together toward the end, the the pairing has lost its charisma.

The Actors is an amusing, albeit underwhelming effort. Should it come on telly during a rainy Tuesday afternoon, then have at you. Otherwise you would be better off watching your old Black Books videos, or renting Withnail & I.