Two Men Went to War

What superb movie. The tale of two English dentists, who, before D-day, decide to invade France on their own. The result is one of the most enjoyable war-movies I have ever seen. It starts of quite slow, but the pacing suits the story. There are no big build-ups leading to massive machine-gun fights with lots of dead Germans and gore. Rather, you are kept in suspense to whether their comical blunders will bear any results or whether they will manage not to kill themselves by mistake in the process. It had myself and most of my family laughing within the first couple of minutes, and we never really stopped till the end. Bravo! I hope to see more movies like this.

Only the English can make a war movie starring desperately patriotic but, in terms of weapons, toothless soldiers: stalwart officers and other ranks of the Army's Dental Corps. And only in England could such a story be true (in the main).

1942: the war isn't going terribly well for Old Blighty. Churchill, played here by David Ryall, is sometimes depressed, always stressed. He needs a victory and he's hanging his spurs on the promise of a new general in the Mideast, a fellow named Monty.

But at Aldershot most train to fight and a small number prepare to provide emergency fillings on the battlefield for teeth with cavities. The Dental Corps major has the right elan-"An Army That Can't Bite, Can't Fight." Two of his other ranks, however, desperately want to fight, not make dentures.

Sergeant Peter King (Kenneth Cranham) is a survivor of the great World War I battle of Passchendale and he has one recruit, Private Leslie Cuthbertson (Leo Bill), naive but intensely patriotic, who wants action. So they go to war without orders or authorization and that's what "Two Men Went to War" is about.

This noncom decides to invade France accompanied only by Cuthbertson (both names are real, I told you this is a true story). Mailing a letter with their pay books to Churchill (to establish they weren't deserting), the two steal a boat and head for Occupied France.

They make an unopposed landing and establish a beachhead (several critics have commented that it was unlikely two men could just hit the beach like that undetected but this is when Germany was doing very well and the construction of "Festung Europa" hadn't started on the Atlantic Coast. And, anyway, that's exactly what these fellows did.

Bill and Cranham make an engaging military odd couple, the sergeant brittle, barking peremptory commands and the private taking just so much gruff but not too much from his leader.

Armed only with pistols and hand grenades they strike a tertiary target of opportunity, their first two targets being beyond their capability. Exactly how much of this is accurate is hard to say but their adventures were reported at the time.

On their unauthorized, bumbling, ill-planned foray they have humorous encounters and harmless adventures. Even the German soldiers don't appear too sinister. Sergeant King may have been truly devoted to his country's cause but his sergeant-major had it right when, asked by a superior officer about the noncom's character, he responds "Barking mad, sir"

Derek Jacobi is entertaining as Churchill's tired and ever-on-duty intelligence officer, Major Merton. The scenes in Churchill's London bunker appear to have been filmed there-I've visited the site and it looks awfully authentic here.

I don't know how well this film was received in England. Tough, snapping sergeants of the British Army have been a movie staple since the talkies began. The exploits of these two soldiers are more weird than impressive. Their adventure seems to be a mixture of "Dad's Army" and "Monty Python."

Still, the film engrosses because the story is so bizarre and when one enters the theater knowing it's true, "Two Men Went to War" becomes attention holding. Both men are now dead, King having died in a New Zealand road accident not that long ago (his military career continued after he was broken to corporal for his invasion of France. He won the Military Cross, one of Great Britain's highest decorations, in subsequent combat). Cuthbertson earned 28 days in jail for being absent without leave. He seems to have had a very nice postwar career, dying of natural causes about eight years ago. An end title states neither ever saw the other again after their court-martial.

An oddball film about two definite genuine originals who contributed nothing to victory but who gave the British public something to smile about when the days were dark with the inevitability of victory more a matter of faith than fact.

8/10.

What an unexpected delight is this true-ish wartime tale of two army dentists determined to do something for the war effort. A grizzled WW1 Sergeant and callow private go AWOL, heading for Cornwall and then to France armed with a rucksack of grenades, a couple of pistols and the odd dental tool. Possessing a comic lightness of touch rarely seen in Britain since the halcyon days of the Ealing comedies, this wonderful tale of British eccentricity is hilariously funny mainly because it never goes for the obvious laugh. Realisitic enough that the adventure is frequently nerve-wracking, with a splendid plot that constantly wrongfoots your guesses, the mismatched comic pair of Kenneth Cranham and Leo Bill work brilliantly. Filmed in vibrant colours so rarely seen in a British film, the movie succeeds way beyond its modest ambitions. It's the rare sort of film that banishes the blues and puts you in a good mood that lasts for ages afterwards. What more can you ask from a film than that?

This film is a solid 6/10. 3 out of 5 Stars etc...

First - it is billed as a comedy-drama based on the true story of two men who go AWOL in order to invade France. Anyone who is going to be so upset by lights on in a harbour or no tape on the windows that they would rant about it for weeks probably won't like this film.

Second - anyone who can enjoy a film for what it is, in this case a light comedy-drama based on bizarre true happenings, will likely enjoy this film.

In true British style, Two Men Went to War, is a story of character development and plot. It is not a Hollywood block buster action flick nor a Japanese sword fest but rather a mature enduring story that is family friendly and a joy to watch.

Why only 6/10 then? It could have been a little deeper for my taste and I would have liked to see some of the moral issues of the day addressed. It is definitely more light comedy than drama.

A worth-while watch for those who can ignore minor historical inaccuracies like no tape on windows, lights on in a harbour and a modern shipping container that could have easily been covered in canvas.

Two Men Went To War is a based-on-fact WW2 story about a couple of disgruntled British Army dentists who decide to 'invade' France and cause havoc among the enemy. Purloining a load of hand-grenades, the pair go AWOL and travel down to Cornwall, where they steal a boat. Setting off for France in the dead of night, the sequence of shots features the hotel where they had stayed and the harbour they were departing - all picked out with 'practical' lights blazing through the hotel's windows and other bright lights strung all around the harbour walls! This, in wartime blackout Britain, on a coastline facing enemy-occupied France, in waters regularly patrolled by German e-boats! Another commenter in this section states that the lighting was authentic in that the Cornish locals at the time figured that as they had never been attacked before, there was no reason to assume that they ever would be attacked then or in the future. However, even is this is true, the script should have made reference to this hard to believe 'fact' in dialogue, simply because the situation was so unusual and would have breached the strictly enforced wartime regulations concerning the blackout. Usually in movies, such 'blackout lighting', considering a story's authenticity, would be restricted to moonlight effect only. Another oversight in the film is the lack of anti-shatter window tapes which criss-crossed every pane of glass in Britain during the war. It's hard to believe that this glaring error went unnoticed by cast and crew. I suspect someone in authority said, 'Oh, they'll never realise," and simply let it go.