Play-Mate of the Apes

As movies go, it stinks. But it's so campy, it's worth watching for the skin & the laughs. It's like a Grade B mix of "Planet of the Apes" and a version of the 1959 "Immoral Mr. Teas".

Put the kids to bed, kick back, pop the top on a couple cold ones, & enjoy it.

I was at my sister's house in Queens, staying the night, and I happened to be browsing through the channels. Cinemax, forever known as Skinemax, happened to be playing this movie.

It was.... interesting.

I happened to stay tuned throughout most of the film, every once in a while just finding the need to shut it off and read George Gipe's adaptation of Gremlins.

It was funny, and I'm being honest. It was so ridiculous that it was pretty funny. The guys in the ape suits were so incredibly cheesy that they made no effort to cover it up. There's a scene at the end where one of the girl puts on one of the ape masks, just so anyone at home who hasn't figured it out already will know that they are only masks.

So there were sex scenes, then apes talking, then more sex scenes, then apes dancing, then more sex scenes, then apes fighting.

You will not find much pleasure in this movie unless you have a severe Furry fettish.

The best part of the movie was the disco-ball spaceship at the end. I mean, come on. You can't beat that. It's just funny. They didn't even spend any time bluescreening it. It was just a disco ball matted onto the background with some sort of blue light around it.

If you're a porno addict, then I guess enjoy yourself (but not too much), but beware of guys in ape suits.

If you like bad movies, then watch this right after you watch Manos and Plan 9.

This is a bad movie BUT it is intended to be a bad movie and does not take itself seriously at all. It is basically a vehicle to show soft core lesbian porn. Hence Im giving it a 5/10.

Basically its Planet of the Apes with lesbians. And that is the entire plot and storyline.There is no special effects and the costumes were probably bought at the dollar store.

Now the important part: The Lesbianism. Now if you have no access to porn or live in a very prudish, morally "upright" and sexually uptight community you will love it. But other then that it is rather boring. I mean its simulated (badly) sex. You see hotter stuff on mainstream movies IMO. Personally I didn't care for it as there were too many overly large man made breast. Misty Mundae looks cute if you are into the lolita look.

The thing that really turn me off was how nasty one of the "actress" look. bad fake boobs and she looked like a monkey (bad botox shots probably).

In summary, movie is OK if you want a laugh...thats it.

Man I started watching this movie and took it off after 5 mins because it was going so stupid but then a week later I put it on in the middle of the scene where the apes where showing off their dancing skill and I almost died laughing, this is THE most absurd thing I have ever seen. Clearly these were people with left over costumes who made this movie with NO BUDGET. They dont haven have more than 3 of any one ape costume, there is a florescent pink ape for Christ's sakes. I recommend this one to anyone.

This movie is pretty silly, and the gorilla costumes are bad-Holloween quality. One of the gorillas is bright pink! It's kind of fun to watch, more interesting than the normal fare on Cinemax (a.k.a. Skin-emax!). I do have to say that the acress credited as the Barbarian Queen has the largest chest I've seen in movies, and is not shy to show them! Most of the sex scenes in this movie are girl-girl anyway. There seems to be a string of movies like this that spoof popular movies. Lord of the G-string is another. Same actresses, sort of funny. You can tell they're having a good time making the flick. Let's face it, if you're watching these movies, it's not for the plot.