Bargain Hunt

This programme is perfect for the student waiting for his class to start. The wonderful presenter makes this show (which could have easily become stuffy and boring) light hearted and fun. Antiques have needed this breath of fresh air ever since the Antiques roadshow made them all about obscene amounts of money.

Another great British program on American television, this one is found on the HGTV network, and it is a very entertaining half hour. It is about two teams of two people, one is called the "red" team, while the other is the "blue" team, and they have a set amount of money to spend at a flea market. Then, the items both teams purchased are put up for auction and the team that makes a bigger profit from the sale of the items win. I would love to have the time to attend that huge flea market that the teams get to attend to find their items for the auction. The host is very good, very knowledgable and affable with everyone. If this is your type of program, I recommend it very much.

Two teams of two people are handed £200 and an "expert" and let loose for an hour in a car boot sale. Their aim is to get items for sale at auction later and the winning team is the one that makes the most profit off their investment at the auction. While they do this the presenter himself heads off to look around, highlighting how to judge items, how to spot fakes and so on to the viewers.

Yet another piece of daytime television that deals with car boot sales, low-cost collectables and auctions in the same way as Cash in the Attic, Car Booty and other reality shows on BBC mornings do. This one is probably more well known than those others because of the presence of David Dickenson, his camp manner, cheap puns and orange skin. Of course this student cult appeal of the host does not mean that the show is any good and indeed the audience this is aimed at is limited, does not really include me and I suspected I would hate it when I saw the cheesy and cheap title sequence with some twit mugging across the screen. Certainly I'm not a car boot fan and have never been to auction so I'm not really target audience and cannot imagine ever watching more than the couple I have seen.

Having said that though I did like the way the show does have "educational" value in the way that the experts talk and also the host gives details behind other items – for those into this sort of thing I can see why it appeals. It is certainly better than some of the similar shows doing the same sort of thing but in a much more trashy way. Dickenson helped it get the comic appeal but in fairness his replacement Wonnacott does have a nice bit of daytime telly character and also sounds like he knows what he is talking about – plus Dickenson had become a parody of himself very quickly anyway.

A show with limited appeal perhaps but it is actually better than you would expect, with interesting contributions. It is a daytime reality show about auctions and tat though complete with dull guests, hammy hosts and bad puns but, among its peers it marks itself out – just don't expect it to be anything that could work in a more demanding slot.

The pitch befell the rain before the pitch of tents to sell, Eight hundred antique dealers pitched their wares and wants so well. But through the throng, as ancient songs did hum from gramophone Did enter David Dickinson, with Blues and Reds along.

"I hereby give two hundred quid. Go, ye, find me a bargain!" As off did run the Reds and Blues, with cameramen a joggin' And experts following behind, not keeping with the pace, and knowing well some team will spend before they reach that place.

David, he did look abroad, then to his camera, quipped. "This here's the Sheffield's finest sale, but the weather's sunk a bit. "So though the prices would be high, the water's wearing down. "Disaster for the sellers, but Bargain Hunt's in town!"

The Reds, they found an hourglass of minted silver and stone. "That thing's a hundred and twenty quid," the keeper spat, alone. The expert said, "I don't believe its price will come at sale." But when Reds bought it anyway, his eyes did roll and wail.

The Blues, they found a coffret made in eighteen sixty two. "Slightly damaged," said the expert, "But that price will do." So they didn't haggle much as it was only fifty quid. Time was of the essence, two more items left to bid.

An hour passed, and David looked upon the gathered lot, To scour and to scowl at each of the many things they bought. His scrunched up face did quite deface Red's investment there. While Blues were quite content, excitement static'ed in the air.

A week to clean and polish before Red and Blue did seat Along with David Dickinson at a Lime Street auction meet. The hammers snapped, the sales ran, the time had quickly passed. And found the Blues deep in the blues, for they did come in last.

And so, with wry humility, the Duke did sigh and grin. For only time can tell the tale of just which side will win. "The winners this week were the Reds. They netted fifty four." Then flashed his grin, "Come back next week for two contestants more."

When I first started watching Bargain Hunt, I dismissed David Dickinson as a harmless clown. The entire purpose of the show, moreover, seemed to be that the people at flea markets and antique shows always know the worth of their goods and will get the better of the buyer almost every single time. After several seasons, however, I've changed my mind.

First, Dickinson is indeed a bit of a clown, but he also imparts much more realistic and helpful information on antiques and collectibles than almost any of the competing programs. Want to know how to tell cut glass from pressed glass? Interested in spotting fake brass figurines? Has your antique table been hybridized? Is your rare vase a victim of some restorer's attempt to cover up the chips and cracks? You're much more likely to discover the answer to these questions on Bargain Hunt than on Antiques Roadshow or even the otherwise wonderful Cash in the Attic.

So, too, will Dickinson be much more honest with his colleagues in the field, not to mention the poor contestants who blow their wad on some worthless twentieth century imitation fakery. As opposed to the valuers, who almost always over-reach, Dickinson seems to have a much better pulse on the only real value of items up for auction, which is, of course, defined as the money someone is willing to pay--and no more. And especially pity the poor contestant who overpays for some silver plated trifle. How bad it must be to have Dickinson laughing at you on nationwide TV, while revealing that you spent £200 on a POS.

Comparatively speaking, Dickinson is brutal to the people who appear on his program. And what a breath of fresh air it all is. How truly informative and honest in comparison to the pasty faced gnomes who mumble greedy nothings into the ears of the gullible and avaricious lemmings lined up on Antiques Roadshow. Dickinson reveals the real business side of antiques. And when he's through, you'll realize making money in the art and antiques world is not nearly so easy as it seems.

Finally, one other thing to note. If I were a seller OR a buyer, I'd sure hate to have Dickinson on the other side of the transaction.