- [Chau is trying to organize a protest rally to bring back the recently cancelled T.V. show "The Education of Max Bickford."]
- Chau Presley: Check out my sign.
- [Holds up a sign that reads "We Don't Need No Education!"]
- Chau Presley: We don't need no education. Get it? *"Education"*, "The Education of Max Bickford".
- Euan: But it says we don't need it.
- Chau Presley: No it says "We *don't* need *no* education". It's a double negative, which means we *do* need it!
- Mike Platt: Chau, I'm not sure how to tell you this but, I think your sign's a little retarded!
- Chau Presley: Yeah, retarded. Like a fox!
- Chau Presley: If you hurt that girl I will kill you, nurse you back to health, and then kill you again!
- Chau Presley: Euan, can I crash here tonight? My house is infested with ants.
- Euan: Why don't you just spray them?
- Chau Presley: I would, but my uncles would get really mad. You know!
- [laughs]
- Chau Presley: But seriously, I hate them.
- Euan: Mike, did you see them? There were boobies out for all to see! Did you see them chau? Boobies!
- Mike Platt: I told you, she's Bohemian.
- Chau Presley: Dude, why's it got to be about race with you?
- [Euan is talking to a doctor to get circumcised]
- Dr. Wasserman: Let me ask you, have you given any thought to the kind of cut you would like?
- Euan: Well uh, well no.
- Dr. Wasserman: Would you like to pick one out from "The Big Book Of Penises"?
- Euan: Uh, I suppose...
- Dr. Wasserman: Joking! Joking!
- Euan: Oh!
- Dr. Wasserman: There is no "Big Book Of Penises"! I mean, maybe there is one, but I certainly don't have it!
- Euan: Water?
- Mike Platt: No, thanks. I have one.
- Euan: Oh, well I figured you might need a "backup". Just in case the other one runs out!
- Dr. Wasserman: Ahh, reading about Mel Gibson, I see. He's circumcised.
- Euan: Really? It just says here that it rained a lot during the filming of "Braveheart".
- Mike Platt: [after Status' dog has farted, Mike is laughing] What? Gas is funny. And dog gas is like seven times as funny!
- Euan: Oh my God! I just met Krisie Lee's boyfriend
- Chau Presley: Oh... was he a big guy? Oh! But with an ironic nick-name like "Tiny"!
- [Mr. Dexter banging on the door, and yells for Euan]
- Euan: Oh God, what do I do?...
- [looks at Liz]
- Euan: Liz! Liz, Be my girlfriend!
- Liz Lombardi: What?
- Euan: Come on play along! You're fantasy's finally coming true!
- [looks at Chau and Mike]
- Euan: And you two...
- Chau Presley: Uhhh... we're you're GAY friends!
- Euan: [opens the door to greet Mr. Dexter] Oh Mr. Dexter! How wonderful to see you! This is my girlfriend Liz, we're in a committed relationship totally monogomas!
- Liz Lombardi: Yep I'm his girlfriend!
- Euan: Yeah give some sugar baby!
- Liz Lombardi: Oh!
- [Euan kisses her]
- Mike Platt: Hey!
- [goes to stop them from kissing...]
- Chau Presley: [pulls Mike back to him...] Oh don't worry Chau's got some sugar for you too!
- [kisses Mike]
- Mike Platt: [Mike mortified... pushes Chau away and runs for the door... stops... pauses... looks back at Chau and points at him...] You just slipped me the toungue...
- Chau Presley: [pulls Mike back] Dude they were kissing, so we had to kiss... Great you blew Euans whole scam!
- Jordan: Euan's uncircumsized, isn't that gross?
- Nathan 'Status Quo': It's certainly gross to talk about it.
- Euan: [Mike is trying to change his image] Wait a minute, where are the clothes we bought you? I thought you were changing your image, you look exactly the same.
- Mike Platt: [Slightly slurred] I don't think so.
- [Sticks out his tongue to reveal a tongue-piercing]
- Euan: You pierced your tongue?
- Mike Platt: Yeah, no dit Derlock!
- Liz Lombardi: Yeah, that reminds me. I've gotta go, I've got a date tonight.
- Euan: Hang on, Mike's tongue-ring reminds you that you have a date tonight?
- Liz Lombardi: Yeah. *He's* got a stud in his mouth...