Arachnid

In my mind, the words "Giant spider" = "Bad movie" But Arachnid actually proved me wrong. Oh, it was by no means good...but it was a fun movie to watch anyways.

Alex Reid was really the only good point as far as acting goes. Everybody else in the movie was just kinda...there. Luckily though, nobody was horribly bad or annoying.

The spider and centipedes (I'm still wondering why there were giant centipedes in this movie...) looked pretty decent. Well, decent since I assume this movie had a fairly low budget. Except at the end, when the spider starts running really fast along the walls of a cave. That just looked horrible.

Im not gonna lie and tell you about the storyline. To be honest, I wasnt exactly paying attention that much. It appears that an alien spaceship crashes on a small island and it was carrying a giant spider...or maybe it mutated a spider and made it giant. Then a team goes on an expedition into the jungles to find it. Thats all I got.

An enjoyable film, but I wouldnt suggest buying it. In fact, renting it is kind of going overboard. Maybe wait for it on TV sometime. Thats what I did, and I was satisfied.

Expedition to a remote island find themselves stranded after a plane crash, and at the mercy of an army of voracious, giant spiders. Pilot (Alex Reid) has taken the job to search for her missing brother, whose naval jet was last reported in the vicinity of the island, while mercenary (Chris Potter) and his crew (Bear and Lightfoot) tries to remain professional in spite of the chaos.

Quirky spider specialist (Isyanov) causes endless grief, as he disappears at every given opportunity, searching for specimens with which to experiment; his final experiment finds him cocooned in a tightly woven spider-web. Thereafter the film is a roller-coaster, and it's mostly downhill, very quickly. Survivors take refuge in a dilapidated WWII shelter while the giant spiders terrorise them like demons on stilts, something akin to "War of the Worlds". Naturally, Reid discovers the fate of her naval pilot brother, and while the couple reunite with the indestructible Bear (Allen), their survival remains tenuous.

Horrid special effects and tense action sequences provides the glue that binds this formula picture together. Some light wit and a relaxed performance by Potter offer glimmers of hope, and the film is nothing if at least watchable, although the awkward English translation (most of the characters are obviously of Latin origin, so why pretend to be North Americans?) and absence of any 'name' actors (Potter is by no means a household name) might distance the average viewer.

I'm a fan of the 50s big monster movies like THEM! and their more-recent counterparts, films like ANACONDA and (especially) the TREMORS series. So when I saw a sneak preview of ARACHNID at the Fangoria Weekend of Horrors convention a year ago (and being that I'm also someone who likes to give a lot of low-budget direct-to-video movies a chance), I knew I'd have to check it out.

The setup is simple enough in the best 50s monster movie tradition: a team of scientists and ex-military types travel to a remote island to find the source of a mysterious new virus, and in the process come face to face with a giant web-spinning terror. The trailer suggested a Godzilla-sized spider. Instead, it's about eight feet tall and maybe ten feet long. Due to the thick accents of some of the foreign characters (several co-stars are from Spain, where some of the movie was shot), the dialogue is at times rather difficult to understand. There's the usual conflicts between characters, the character with a hidden agenda for tagging along, etc. If you're familiar with the old monster movies, you'll probably recognize these standards. The film takes its sweet time getting going, and the spider (after a brief half-obscured appearance near the beginning) doesn't fully appear until nearly an hour-and-five-minutes into the film. When you have a movie in which the star is the big title monster, that monster had better show up before the thirty/forty-minute mark. Otherwise, interest begins to wander, as it did with me. But I hung there, despite the boring moments in which characters walk off in the middle of the night after they've seen what happens to people who do the same, characters argue, characters complain, and the main military guy and pilot slowly bond. Once the spider is finally revealed to the characters' amazement and horror, the suspense is upped a little bit, leading to a frenzy climax in which the pilot and two more men you thought for sure had died (having gone off to establish communication to call for help) show up to fight back. And of course, there's the final shot that screams, "Sequel!"

Chris Potter (from TV's KUNG FU: THE LEGEND CONTINUES) makes an appealing hero, even if he's not given much to do other than stand around, shout orders, and fire an M16. Alex Reid, who plays the pilot, isn't particularly convincing as a tough girl (perhaps it was the director's fault), but at least she looks nice and, like Potter, does what she can with the material. I think she would have made a much better Lara Croft than Angelina Jolie. Reid literally looked like Croft in several scenes. The rest are unknowns in stock cardboard roles: the likeable, slightly-goofy spider expert, the scientist, his assistant, Potter's partners, and a handful of native helpers who all are there to serve one purpose: spider food. Surprisingly, the mechanical effects of the spider are pretty well done for such a film, though a few moments of CGI near the climax (and at the start of the film) are a little on the cheapo side. With a few more understandable actors, a quicker pace, and some tighter direction, ARACHNID might have been at least a mildly-enjoyable time waster perfect for a dull Saturday night. I admit that I have seen worse movies, but as it is, seeing it once was enough for me.

Arachnid: 7 of 10: Maybe it's the puppets that I liked. It's nice to see a movie made in the 21st century that doesn't use horrible shiny CGI for its creatures. (It does use horrible shiny CGI for it's alien spaceships.) Arachnid is all the better for it's retro monster.

This is a true six-pack toke 'm if you got them B movie. A European production with decent location shooting, an international cast (half horrible and unintelligibly dubbed), and a real B movie budget unlike those $10 Z movie digital camcorder pretenders.

It's all off course a bit predictable. (If you can't figure out two of the survivors at the end turn in your monster movie-watching card now.) And despite a lot of fodder (always a good sign) to many deaths seem off screen or at least over a little quickly. The movie also could have used some gratuitous nudity (If young thing Alex Reid wasn't willing at least allow Spanish star Neus Asensi to release those puppies like she has done in the past.)

Those quibbles aside I couldn't help but cheer when the puppeteers took the Volkswagen sized spider out for the spin in the second half of the movie. Of course you enjoyment may depend on what you consumed during the first half.

This movie features bad special effects in some areas, and pretty good ones in others. The idea had a lot more potential than the script delivered. Not an edge of your seat movie, and several things did not hold together; don't waste your money. On the other hand, if it comes on the late show or you have a free movie rental coupon, it's worth a look.