Once Upon a Honeymoon

The credits that I can see while watching this as part of a Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode don't say so, but this must have been sponsored by Western Electric as a soft-sell for their telephones.

Our first clue is that the angels use modified telephone installer handsets - the kind with the dial on the back. Our next clue is how the phone is the cap of every room's imaginary redesign. Finally, it is the phone that gives the composer the idea for the song that springs the couple on to their honeymoon.

Common element: telephones.

There are similar short films extolling electricity, gas, cars, and, uh, cars (lots of cars). This one is tastefully done and doesn't quite hit you over the head with "phones come in colors now so order one today!" sensibility.

Included in MST3K's Shorts Vol. 3, this short was produced for Bell Telephone to show how the telephone can help out in everyday situations, or something - it's really hard to tell what the film's message was supposed to be. A young couple is ready to leave on a (postponed one year already) honeymoon, but they can't until the husband re-writes the "dreaming" song for copper-bottomed ballerina diva Sonia. Thanks to inspiration from the rotary dial of the telephone the husband, after smoking what appears to be three packs of cigarettes, is able to finish the song and the young couple is finally able to leave on their honeymoon. The telephone had so little to do with the story that Tom Servo's comment at the end of the film pretty-much sums it up for me: "What the hell was that all about?"

This short preceded the film "Night of the Blood Beast" on an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. I had a hard time trying to understand what this film was trying to convey as it is about an angel who is sent down to Earth to help a man and woman finally get to their honeymoon after nearly a year of marriage. Yes, all the problems of the world and this is what heaven focuses on which probably explains why the world is in such a sorry shape today. Well the man has to write a jingle, meanwhile, the wife dreams of having her house redecorated and having phones everywhere! Which later I found out that a phone company was behind the short so the point of the whole thing is phones are great or something and you can have a color and style of phone that matches every decor. Why they felt to add an angel and the whole honeymoon subplot is beyond me, perhaps to pad it out and make it less direct? All I know is that this seemed to be a rather pointless short and that people actually took the time to put this thing together...seems like such a waste of time looking back on it as nobody is all that wild about house phones anymore.

A Fifties couple (choreographer Ward Ellis and dancer Virginia Gibson as songsmith Jeff and his wife Mary) are on their way out the door for their honeymoon, delayed one year already, when the show's producer Gordon (long-time character actor Alan Mowbray) calls up with bad news - their show's diva Sonya doesn't like the tune to a big number, and demands an immediate rewrite! Jeff, predictably, suffers from writer's block being asked to produce a new tune on demand - so supernaturally adorable Mary goes into the ::shudder:: outdated kitchen and begins singing about the modern kitchen she wishes she had, complete with telephone -

Speaking of "supernatural", there's an Angel on their roof, Wilbur, who looks and acts like Charles Nelson Reilly playing Sammy Glick, but who is actually longtime B-movie star Chick Chandler. He's been sent to expedite Jeff's and Mary's honeymoon - good thing he has an eight- ball of coke (er, "bag of magic dust") handy, hmmm?

This bit of charming/mindroasting whimsy/insanity was intended to market Bell Telephone's new color-coordinated phones, which could match the decor of any room and came in a variety of shapes as well, but that particular selling point is buried in a supernatural musical comedy one-act that looks like a demented precursor to THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW. Directed by legendary dance choreographer/director Gower Champion, it's remarkably well done, the script has genuine bits of wit to it, the music is superior to its purpose as a marketing tool, the cast is top-notch and game - and as Tom Servo wondered when it aired on MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000, "What the Hell was that about, anyway?"

Watched on its own its charms this short might not be appreciated, but watched with Mike and the 'Bots, it's a classic of WTF?ery for me. Watch it yourself, and see how you feel....

I have to agree with the other comment! I had no clue what the whole short was about. I thought that Mary just had an unnatural obsession with the telephone. I had no idea that it was a Bell Telephone commercial. And the whole idea with Sonya and Gordon just made the short even dumber. But, the beginning of the short where you have all the angels up on "Cloud Seven" just adds insult to injury. The short by itself is awful which is why I only gave it a 1. However, with the MST3K team adding commentary and humor to it, it's definitely a 10! Hopefully anyone else who reads this comment will find it helpful! And I really wish that MST3K would come back!