Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker!

As a man who LOVES the inept film Children of the Living Dead, I was stunned by just how horrid this 'film' is. This videotape can only possibly be enjoyed by the cast of retarded amateurs whose names populate the credits.

Nothing Troma has done has EVER been this worthless. Never purchase, rent, or even download this videotape.

I must fill out a few more lines to submit this, and with the videotape still in mind I now submit these lines:

nose breathing is not funny.

not editing out the director's voice is not funny.

whacky hair is not funny.

everything in this videotape that people spent time on is not funny

I was roped into this travesty because... 1) I enjoy zombie films 2) I usually enjoy both Debbie Rochon and Trent Haaga and 3) For some reason I still think there's hope out there for Full Moon, who have lost most of my respect over the years with a succession of incredibly bad releases.

This is easily the most appalling release from Full Moon yet. Words cannot express how lousy (and irritating) this load of excrement is. Frankly, it's insulting that it received ANY kind of release and that anyone has to be tricked into suffering through someone else's home movie. I could even forgive the nonexistent budget, amateurism and awful make-up if there was something else of merit going on here (no such luck!). What I cannot forgive is the completely unfunny 'script' (granted it had one), the migraine-inducing overacting and the pitiful name dropping at each and every turn (I could list fifty other major annoyances, but I won't...) Chris Seaver has absolutely no discernible talent, but HE obviously disagrees with me. Listen to the commentary track and you'll hear the rantings of one of the most misguided, idiotic and delusional people on the planet. He seems to fancy himself as such an original talent. So Chris, I'm glad you find yourself to be so very witty and talented. I found you to be a smug, annoying, juvenile and irrelevant moron whose only possible fan base would have to consist of not-so-bright 10 year olds or someone borderline retarded.

But anyway, since you seem to be such a big fan of yourself and your own work, maybe YOU should keep your crappy movies to yourself, eh? 1/10 (If there was a zero, this 'film' would get it)

This is a classic case of bait & switch. The Tempe company must be really scratching if they are reduced to this kind of action. Of course one would expect to see the person on the cover in the movie but not here. It is obvious why this was necessary when you view the hideous looking performers in the product. The movie was the worst I have ever witnessed. However let us perhaps be thankful for something. I believe the cover model is Lilith Stabs & her body is her best & only attribute as her acting talent is sorely limited to use a very kind expression. At least we were spared that. If we still had book burnings as in the old days this would be a prime candidate.

I'm having trouble even putting in to words what it was that is wrong with this movie, so bear with me while I try my hardest... This is a would-be Troma movie, so awful and cheap that even they refused to put their name on the box or credits. It's loaded with Troma posters and logos, and they even convinced Lloyd Kaufman to say his stupid little piece, direct from his office in Tromaville... Blegh... This I guess is either hit or miss, and it sure as heck missed with me. I liked most of the actors, EXCEPT for Mulva. She is so disgusting and unpleasant to look at that I swear my stomach actually began to churn! And that is not a compliment. I did like her morbidly obese sidekick (gee, where have we heard this before?)Cassie. And Debbie Rochon and Trent Haaga's performances were, as always, fantastic and highly entertaining. But it wasn't enough to make me ever watch this again. I DO however like the 2nd movie on the disc, "Filthy McNasty", which is the same director, and approximately the same running time. Both movies feature Debbie Rochon in great roles, and both movies rip off (in an amusing way) music from Meet the Feebles, Children of the Corn, and probably others too I didn't catch.

This has got to be one of the most horrible movies ever made. It ranks right up there with Godfather Part III. The acting was abysmal, the writing was marginal at best, and the film itself was overall poorly made and maddening to watch. If it were any longer it could be used as a torture device. Do yourselves a favor, DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE, waste 45 minutes of your life on something more meaningful like twiddling your thumbs or twirling around in your office chair on your lunch break. Please don't give these people any more of your hard earned dollars. People who have nothing better to do with their time than make crappy movies and subject the unwitting public to them should be permanently banned from interaction with society.