Berserker

BERSERKER: HELL'S WARRIOR is an ultra-cheesy historical-action-science-fiction B-movie. That's a hell of a combination, and the fact that it was made in South Africa just adds to the whole weirdness of the thing. The DVD case sells this as a straightforward gritty historical war flick along the lines of the VIKINGS TV series but it turns out to be a thoroughly cheesy B-movie masquerading as such.

And, truth be told, it's a pretty poor show. The narrative attempts to invoke some Norse mythology involving Odin and the other gods but in the end this turns into an unholy cross between HIGHLANDER and the Hong Kong flick THE ICEMAN COMETH. The first half which is set in the Viking camp is by far the worst, committing the cardinal sin of being cheesy and boring at the same time, but things do improve a little in the second. Be warned, throughout the movie you'll be exposed to some of the poorest over-acting you'll see in a movie.

We're treated to the spectacle of a couple of warring brothers travelling to the present day where their battles continue. The CGI effects are pretty awful, it has to be said, and you wonder why the likes of Patrick Bergin and Kari Wuhrer are present, although at least the latter disrobes frequently to distract the viewer. There's a little gore thrown into the mix, along with the unwise decision to include some vampire stuff (as if it wasn't enough of a mixed bag to begin with), but overall the extremely poor production values make this one hell of a mess.

Watching the Rifftrax version should be the ONLY possible excuse for seeing this and the only reason it gets any stars 😂

I had no background knowledge of this movie before I bought it, but it sounded cool and I've been wanting to see a really kick-butt Viking movie for awhile now... alas, this film was not what I was looking for. I had hoped for the best, but instead, was delivered a boring Nordic soap-opera that seemed to drag on too long despite its 84 minute running time. The film's premise is intriguing enough: It's about a Viking warlord who defies his God and Odin is so enraged that he curses the warlord's son, named Barek, to death and rebirth as a Berserker. This Barek guy is then forced to live enraged, insane, and violent lifetime after lifetime. The movie is filmed competently enough, with some rich cinematography and quasi-good performances by the actors, but again, I found myself bored and questioning when this dribble would end. The filmmakers had a chance to make something rather entertaining and semi-unique but they dropped the ball. Perhaps it could've been improved with some cheap exploitation tactics thrown in such as gratuitous nudity and lots of gore... I mean, we are talking about "Berserkers" here, aren't we? Vikings were supposed to be BAD enough, what with all the raping and pillaging, so aren't Berserkers supposed to be even more extreme? All in all, unless you're a fan of The Young and Restless (etc...) or, are yourself, in fact, an insane Berserker who likes self torture, I'd probably steer clear of this drab piece of celluloid.

Yes, this film seems to be trying to do the whole Highlander thing. However, while I understand what is going on in Highlander as it is totally easy to follow, I am going to have a hard time describing what the heck is happening in this one! Maybe there is thirty to forty minutes of this left on the cutting room floor which would help clear up what is going on, because man this thing was a jumbled mess!

The story...ha, ha, ha. Okay, here goes...it starts out with vikings wanting to do something and they need some other guys. One of the other guys is the main guy's brother. He apparently has power or worships Odin and he has witches that glow! Well there is a double cross, a witch who glows bites the normal brother and the next thing we see is the present and good brother is in chains in a mental institution. We get flashbacks that further confuse things as I am unclear if they happen before or after the bite...

This film tried to hard to have an edgy plot and ends up being a pretty incoherent film plot wise. We do get some good fights here and there, but a lot of what is going on moments too. Like, why did they go into the club and then turn on the sprinklers? What advantage was that supposed to give them!?!

Seriously though, the film is all over the place and pretty much in the category of films of watch it to make fun of it. I would have given this film a four had it been made in the 80's, but it was made in 2004 so there is no excuse for that horrible glowing effect for the witches or whatever they were supposed to be. This is one film I do not think one has to worry about clicking the yes on spoilers because I do not think anyone could fully explain the plot in such a way that it would spoil anything...

Let's begin by stating that this movie is absolutely god-awful.

That said, I thoroughly enjoyed watching it. There is something to be said for the comedy of an insanely horrible movie. The plot? Nonsensical. The acting? Melodramatic/pornographic. The list goes on. But this doesn't change the fact that bad movies are funny.

I almost want to compare it to "Young Van Helsing", but this movie is even sadder because it's clear that some amount of money was spent on it, and someone thought it was a serious film effort, whereas with YVH, the budget's about $50, and I can't be sure it's meant to be serious.

Anyway, don't watch this movie alone, but with friends it's a great time to make fun of.