- Quinn Morgendorffer: So David was right. I *am* superficial.
- Daria Morgendorffer: At least you know your strengths.
- [notices the sad look on Quinn's face]
- Daria Morgendorffer: He really called you that?
- Quinn Morgendorffer: He said he only dates girls with "depth."
- Daria Morgendorffer: How did it even come up?
- [Quinn doesn't answer]
- Daria Morgendorffer: Oh, boy. You asked *him* out?
- [Quinn starts crying]
- Daria Morgendorffer: Quinn, you're... um... not as superficial as you act. I'm sure you just feel obliged to stress the moronic aspects of your personality so you'll fit in better with the fashion drones. Like a mask you wear 'cause you think they wouldn't like the real you.
- Quinn Morgendorffer: You mean sort of the way you keep people away by being really unfriendly and stuff?
- Daria Morgendorffer: Hey, we're talking about you here.
- Trent: [singing] Betryal, yeah, stabbed in the back. Betrayal, yeah, I'm stretched on the rack. Betryal, yeah, thrown outa the... thrown outa the...
- Daria Morgendorffer: Pack?
- Trent: [singing] thrown outa the pack. Betrayal, betrayal. Yeah, betrayal, betrayal, yeah...
- Mr. DeMartino: Why couldn't I have been born during an influenza epidemic? Or at the base of a volcano? Why did I survive, grow tall and strong, only to squander all my potential by becoming a teacher?
- Daria Morgendorffer: ...When he would've made such a wonderful motivational speaker.
- David Sorenson: Hi, I'm David Sorenson! Are you Quinn?
- Daria Morgendorffer: I don't know, is this the ninth circle of hell?
- David Sorenson: "The Divine Comedy."
- Daria Morgendorffer: Wait, you know that? OK, who are you and what do want with Quinn?
- David Sorenson: I'm here to tutor her.
- Daria Morgendorffer: Seriously.
- Daria Morgendorffer: I have something to tell you two. Tom's not my brother.
- Kevin Thompson: A-ha!
- Daria Morgendorffer: He is the mad scientist who built me. He has to hang around in case my internal organs fall out.
- David Sorenson: Steinbeck was perhaps best known for his poignant novel about the Oakies...
- Tiffany Blum-Deckler: [applying make up] uuuuh-huuuuh...
- David Sorenson: ...a heavy metal band famous for having a baboon on bass.
- Tiffany Blum-Deckler: uuuuh-huuuuh...
- Daria Morgendorffer: [after talking to her sister] That's it. Must... contact... intelligent... life...
- Brittany Taylor: Oh, Mack, something terrible has happened!
- Michael Jordan 'Mack' Mackenzie: Don't worry, the sun's not gone. It's just hiding behind the clouds.
- Jane Lane: Some day the curators will look back on these and say they're from my 'art colonies suck' period.
- Daria Morgendorffer: [sceptical] "Curators"?
- Jane Lane: Criminologists?
- Ms. Li: [over the school intercom] Welcome back students. And remember, the school nurse is in and ready to take your voluntary urine samples. Show your Lawndale High spirit with the gift of urine.
- Sandi Griffin, Quinn Morgendorffer, Tiffany Blum-Deckler, Stacy Rowe: Ewwww!
- Quinn Morgendorffer: But that's not fair. I didn't have time to study with my Fashion Club duties. Don't extracurricular activities count for anything?
- Mr. Timothy O'Neill: Now remember, the P-STATs are a good "dry run" for your college boards. If you got 1,200 points or better, kudos! You'll have a wide and exciting choice of colleges. And for those with less, uh, robust scores, there are still wonderful opportunities in the food services sector.
- Link: How can you stand this place?
- Daria Morgendorffer: Um, 'cause I'm one of the guards instead of the prisoners?
- Daria Morgendorffer: You didn't make any friends at that art colony, did you?
- Jane Lane: Nope. Well, except this one girl... until she got fresh.
- Daria Morgendorffer: [shocked] You're not kidding.
- Daria Morgendorffer: Trent... does it ever bother you that the speedometer is stuck at ten miles per hour?
- Trent: Hmm... ten. That reminds me; time for dinner.
- Helen Barksdale Morgendorffer: Daria, I'm serious, I'm not going to let you sit around the house all summer.
- Daria Morgendorffer: Fine, I'll LIE around the house all summer.
- David Sorenson: I see here that you took European History last year. I guess there's no need repeating that.
- Quinn Morgendorffer: Oh yeah, Napoleon, Waterworld, the A la Carta...
- David Sorenson: Hmm...
- [Makes a note]
- David Sorenson: Revisit European History.
- Helen Barksdale Morgendorffer: Daria, you need to be more tolerant. You know what they say, 'judge and be judged'.
- Daria Morgendorffer: And I judge myself unfit for human contact.
- Helen Barksdale Morgendorffer: That's exactly what you *will* be if you don't learn to interact with the rest of us. You keep hiding your real face behind that anti-social mask, and one day that mask will be your face. I'm not going to let that happen. You're working at that camp.
- David Sorenson: But when the workers stormed the Bastille, they only found seven prisoners and one of THEM was the Marquis de Sade.
- Quinn Morgendorffer: Eww.
- David Sorenson: That's more or less the way THEY felt.
- Jane Lane: Daria!
- Daria Morgendorffer: How are things going?
- Jane Lane: Fine! Fine! Fine! Couldn't be better!
- Daria Morgendorffer: Sucks, huh?
- Jane Lane: Only in a mind numbingly pretentious way.
- Daria Morgendorffer: I'm sorry, but the confidentiality agreement I signed with the Government prevents me revealing that. I've already said too much.
- Daria Morgendorffer: Does this college town have a name or do you just turn left at the kid with the tractor?