I got this tape at one of those "VHS-is-extinct-so-please-take-these-off-our-hands" sales at my local Movie Gallery, and boy, is it ever obvious why. The back of the box promises a grisly revenge saga: "When bad girl Macy (Brigitte Bako) is double-crossed by her gangster boyfriend Frank (Richard Grieco), it's time for payback! Macy wants her share of their heist money, and God help anybody who gets in her way. Frank once left her for dead...now it's HIS turn to DIE! DIE! DIE!" And the cover shows Grieco framed by the fishnet-clad legs of (I assume) Bako, six-shooter gripped menacingly behind her. Sounds promising, in a guilty pleasure sort of way, no?
Unfortunately, it's all a LIE! LIE! LIE! I wasn't expecting greatness from a direct-to-video movie starring the dude from "21 Jump Street" and filmed in Saskatchewan. All I wanted was a little gratuitous violence, some cheesy dialogue, and a few car chases. Not a lot to ask for, right? Instead, we get endless scenes of 'shady-looking' people (i.e., guys in bad suits with greased-up hair and designer sunglasses) entering and exiting buildings, entering and exiting cars, and spouting off lots of vague dialogue about their 'business' and stuff they gotta 'take care of.' We're also treated to lots of shots of people supposedly mulling things over, usually while smoking. Wow. I don't think my heart can take all this action.
Somewhere in this mess is Bako, who has all of two facial expressions during the entire film, and completely fails at evoking sympathy for her suburban mom turned druggie / criminal character. (We're also supposed to believe she's jaw-droppingly hot, judging from all the male characters' reactions to her. Admittedly, I am a heterosexual female, but I can't imagine any red-blooded guy finding Miss Bako anything but somewhat attractive.) She also has a really low body count for a chick supposedly lusting for revenge; at one point she even lets Jump Street (Grieco, ex-boyfriend who left her for dead) go, while she has a gun trained on him! And she leaves both kneecaps intact! Another time, she RUNS AWAY rather than shoot some mob enforcer-type who just killed a friend of hers. Eh, guess they weren't that close...
So, we've got a movie that fails to deliver on the whole 'grisly-revenge-saga' front, plot holes galore (someone explain to me how Macy's 'leverage' was supposed to work realistically?), and...oh, God, no...the 'I have a kid who barely remembers me' plot thread! Noooooo! I can't STAND this plot thread! It's a totally fast food way of attempting to humanize a character, it's a lazy way out for the writers, and I can't stand kids in the first place, so I just can't forgive this movie. Nope, I have absolutely nothing good to say about "Die! Die! Die!"---well, Saskatchewan does look lovely...
